Glimpses of a Within Without Family Christmas

Just a few snaps from my extended family's Boxing Day get-together, folks. I'll be back in the New Year posting and responding to comments, etc., and visiting other blogs next week.

Hope Christmas and the holiday season have been all you've wanted them to be...and I miss you all.

:-)

yuletide logs

Michael Buble, a burning Yuletide fireplace...now THIS is Christmas!!

FIREPLACE DVD parody - full version

There are three channels on my TV showing nothing but burning fireplaces.

This is just a different take poking a bit of fun...Merry Christmas all.

SEPARATION ANXIETY

HA! LOOK AT THESE PHOTOGRAPHS.

As I listen to this incredible song on the day before Christmas Eve, many gifts still to wrap, I want to tell you about people found, people loved, people lost.

About 50 per cent of people in North America have experienced separation or divorce. I'm among them. That's not directly what this is about.

All I want to tell you about tonight is the people on the periphery who are lost as a result of that, people I'm thinking about.

When the marriage of two people breaks down, it's not just the husband and wife who break up, and it's not just their kids who are thrown into chaos. People take sides. It's human nature.

Brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, their kids you loved -- your nieces and nephews, children you tossed in the air and teased and who you wondered if you might say a speech at their wedding -- disappear from your life.

They almost become ghosts. You don't see them any more. You don't hear about them. Tanis, Derek; Kristopher, Jessica; Michael, Justin, Dylan, Darren; nephews and nieces once, stolen away.

Ryan, Barb; Ronnie, Janet; Cam & Sherilyn, their parents...your in-laws on your ex's side of the family...all gone. Like they never existed, but you know they did. You loved them for 20-25 years.

You loved their kids, you saw them every Christmas, every birthday, you got to know their families and feel warmth and love about them and for them, know their struggles, triumphs titillating their lives.

The couple above lived with my ex and I for a while before they got married. The guy on the left is my ex's brother, posing with his second wife and their first-born at my ex's family cottage.

The pic on the right is from a couple of years ago of the entire expanded clan. I haven't seen them or heard from them in about a year, maybe, although I think about them often and love them all.

The pic on the left is of one of my sisters-in-law in the back, holding my then one-year-old daughter on the left and her daughter, Tanis, on the right.

The pic on the right is Tanis's wedding about a year ago, with my daughter and son on the far right. They were part of the wedding party.

I was invited by the mom to "sit at the back of the church so you can see your kids in the wedding party." She had to "hide me." I didn't go. Instead, I sent a cheque and a card to my niece and her husband.

The lad on top there with the blonde hair is my nephew Kristopher, whose pic I loved taking. Haven't seen him since 1996. The girl at the left on my lap there with my daughter is Jessica. Same deal.

Argh. Outta sight, not outta mind.

So what do you do with this? You need to accept it and allow yourself to still hold those people dear and close, but realize that they have to do what they have to do..and that you do too.

And that at special times like Christmas, you have to embrace the people you've always embraced, and to bring more into what you want to and have to embrace, and leave the past to what it is.

If Blogger had allowed me, I would have posted more pix of my close family (three sisters, two brothers, their spouses and kids). But here are my kids and a lovely woman who I want to embrace this Christmas.

Like the song says, it's time to say it: Goodbye. Goodbye.

Merry Christmas to you all.

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

SOME OF YOU MAY RECALL A RECENT POST WHICH SHOWED THE SHOES STREWN ABOUT MY FRONT DOOR CLOSET.

YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN'.

In a completely non-Christmas related post, I hereby reveal the remainder of my closet, recently the subject of jokes and derision from the likes of Awaiting and Homo Escapeons.

For useless trivia buffs such as HE, the list on the shelf shown includes (closeups are below; from bottom to top, it's highly skillful and clever snaps of all the items from left to right):

*Two Canadian Football League footballs
*Two hockey pucks
*Two softballs from my slowpitch team
*Five baseball hats, most of them freebies of one sort or another (I rarely wear them)
*One air conditioner cover that I guess is supposed to be covering my air conditioner during the winter
*One Frisbee
*One basketball
*My bike helmet
*Two cans of stuff to spray on my leather shoes, which I never do
*One Odour Eaters powder canister
*My trusty wrench set
*A pair of weather-resistant running pants or something
*My baseball/softball glove

Here, as near as I could get it all in one picture without stepping outside to do so, is the closet in its entirety. Don't trip on anything on your into my living room.
Next in WW's painful revelation of self periodic series: the bedroom closet

Christmas at My Place

SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS.

AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Well, being so bereft of blogging topics, I did what anyone would do. I threw out some ideas to the general Christmas-weary populace in BlogWorld and you decided for me.

So for Dinahmow and Dmmgfmmmm to the 18th power, particularly, here is my Christmas tree and some of my other Christmas ornamenture (if that is even a word; if not, I just invented it).

I'm disappointed with the results from my Sony SureShot, but I don't think it's my camera's fault. I think it means I have to actually do what every male detests doing, and that is read the manual.

The lights on my Christmas tree don't show up, for example, although the severe lean to the tree does. I think I have to alter the position of the Xmas girlie at the top of the tree, but she might slap me in the face.

Anyway, I'll deal with that when Homo Escapeons comes over. In the meantime, this is me and Christmas.

I bought this tree, of course, when I split with my ex. It has served me well. I am still in hock for the billions of dollars worth of decorations that my daughter forced me to buy, however.

This is the scene on my TV/sound system stand. You can actually see that I do have lights and that they are plugged in. They flash, too. It's cool.

That globe thingy in the middle, which cost about $9,000, used to have fake snow floating around in it, but I guess due to global warming it doesn't do that any more. What a shame.

And of course there's the obligatory Frosty the Snowman and Santa (on the right), who has no bum so I can put a candle in there to make him light up. It's really neato.

These are the Christmas stockings that I'm obliged to fill every year with hundreds of millions of dollars worth of small gifts from the dollar store or whatnot.

Being the alpha male (Santa), that's me up top. My daughter's stocking, of course, is the cute teddy bear. My son got left with the Frosty the Snowman. This reminds me...I still have to do all this shopping to fill them...argh.

This is just a wider angle view of my TV/stereo unit. The works above it, by the way, are ones I bought from Andrea, the lovely artist/blogger from Canada's West Coast.

Check out her Small Art website. Stuff on there's a steal.

Merry Christmas!

Hmmm, he schemed, then beamed, then SCREAMED, his beady eyes popping out of their sockets, searching; his tiny male brain anguishing as he scoured it for a stroke of genius...

Or even just a stroke, a stroke of anything...

WHAT will my next blogging topic be?

The possibilities utterly abounded...almost.

1. Play a YouTube video of Mariah Carey singing All I Want for Christmas is You.

2. Take picture of incredibly overcrowded, messy shelf above front door closet for no particular reason and ask others to do the same.

3. Take pictures of fake, badly leaning Christmas tree and elaborate lighting/decorating touches in apartment.

4. Follow MJ's suggestion and take pictures of self successfully baking a Duncan Hines spice cake.

5. Discuss the fine art of Christmas gift-wrapping and how I am hopeless at it, and thank God for my daughter because she does the wrapping for me.

Sometimes, I sits and thinks.

Other times, I just sits.

Just Resting...

UP HERE IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH...

Those Christmas Blues

DO YOU HAVE...THE CHRISTMAS BLUES?

Right here, right now, we have the solution. And it's all about pumpkin seeds.

Get over those shivers of fear about shopping and spending hundreds of dollars, that bad feeling about baking til you drop, forgetting to send your cards by the deadline.

Here is yet another press release from yet another company proposing to solve all your holiday anxiety with the latest elixir that purports to make your life all fresh and new again.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — December 12, 2006

Toronto—Searching frantically for that "perfect gift" along with mounting bills, obligatory engagements, and endless loops of Christmas carols counting down the days… Stress now defines the holiday season.

What should be a time of comfort and joy has become an annual nightmare. But it doesn't have to be this way.

What if choosing the right foods could help eliminate stress and improve sleep? According to Toronto psychiatrist and sleep expert Dr. Craig Hudson, it is possible.

Dr. Hudson explains how the right combinations of proteins and carbohydrates digested at varying times of the day can make a huge difference in stress perception and quality of sleep.

With his research Dr. Hudson created Zenbev, a scientifically-derived formulation that combines simple ingredients for significant results.

Zenbev has garnered huge success in Europe, treating people suffering from sleep and stress problems like insomnia and anxiety.

Invented in 1997, this patented formula is now available in the Canadian market at fine health stores across the country.

Organic pumpkin seeds are the secret behind Zenbev's success. This all-natural beverage mix derived from pumpkin seeds provides a natural source of tryptophan.

Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that our bodies can only receive from food. It naturally enhances and regulates mood, emotion and sleep patterns.

Zenbev is unique because it is light-sensitive. Using Zenbev during the day causes tryptophan to metabolize into serotonin, which is scientifically proven to alleviate stress, depression, and anxiety.

In a night-time environment, tryptophan turns into melatonin which allows people to fall asleep naturally.

Using Zenbev over a period of time will not cause dependence or tolerance because the product works with your brain's natural sleep chemistry. Weight loss and an increased libido are other benefits.

Additional information on Zenbev is available at www.zenbev.com.

Are the holidays driving you nuts enough to try something like this?

Men's Christmas Wrap Motivators

I might actually learn how to properly wrap Christmas gifts if I could at least laugh a little when I attempted such a complex procedure...

WITH WRAP LIKE THIS

Just a seasonal joke while my brain's synapses are a little low on energy due to shopping and wrapping, so please don't report me to Santa or the Bad Blogger police...

Pepe Le Pew's Christmas D'Amour

HECK, IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!

AND THEY CALL IT THE "GAME" OF LOVE...

So why WOULDN'T a sportswriter receive the following email press release from Paris, or as Pepe Le Pew (whose picture I forgot to download) would say it, Gay Par-EE?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Paris, December 4, 2006

A lover gives his sweetheart the Eiffel Tower.
Stephen, 32 years old, chose to declare his love with the help of the a brand new service provided by ApoteoSurprise, a French agency specializing in love declarations and original marriage proposals ( http://www.apoteosurprise.com/indexEN.htm ).
The young man's proposal and his picture were projected over 40 meters at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, in a multicolored sparkling setting, while the two lovers were enjoying their candlelit dinner on board a cruise boat.
Virginia, 28 years old, burst into tears while the other passengers applauded. She then said "yes".

You get the idea. And you can go to the site yourself and check it out. But here are a few of this company's "unforgettable ways of saying I love you." Let your sense of amour be your guide, your dreams' pathway...

And if you had your choice, especially during the romantic Yuletide season, what would be YOUR dream love fantasy?

While enjoying a romantic stay in Paris, why not seize this perfect opportunity to offer your sweetheart the surprise of his/her life ? ApoteoSurprise organizes truly incredible ways for you to declare your love !

While taking a romantic stroll through the tiny cobblestoned alleyways of the Montmartre district, you'll be taken by surprise by the unusual events which will prelude your poetic declaration of love...990 euros

Early in the morning while still in bed, you'll be woken by a singing quartet who'll offer your sweetheart a romantic dawn serenade before handing him/her a parchment...990 euros

You'll ride in a Rolls Royce into the heart of a forest to discover an island paradise lit by candle-light where you'll enjoy an unforgettable dinner in an enchantingly romantic chalet...990 euros

While forming part of the audience during a circus performance, your sweetheart will be the involuntary victim of a knife throwing contest -- a prelude to your spectacular declaration of love...1590 euros


After sharing a romantic dinner on an amazingly magical river boat, you'll witness a great illusion show during which the magician will reveal your decla-ration of love...1590 euros




You'll share a pleasurable moment of relaxation in a steamy hammam which will leave your skin feeling as soft as satin, before your sweetheart discovers your voluptuous declaration of love amidst some flowers...1590 euros

While you dine in the city, your room will be transformed into a tiny little tender paradise filled with hundreds of balloons and cuddly toys as a prelude to the most affectionate declaration of love...1590 euros

After flying over the most famous fun park in the world in an ULM, your amazing declaration of love will float across the sky right in front of your sweetheart's dazzling eyes...1990 euros

While enjoying a romantic flight over the truly luxuriant countryside of the department of Yvelines, a second airplane will appear beside you and then reveal on its wings your unimaginable declaration of love...1990 euros

While the two of you enjoy a private visit of one of the most famous wax museums in the world, an ancient statue will come to life and hand your sweetheart a parchment...1990 euros

After a crazy pursuit aboard Starsky and Hutch's ride, a car filled with gangsters will lift up on two wheels and reveal your explosive declaration of love...1990 euros

In the gardens of one of the most prestigious castles in France, you'll take to the skies and enjoy a romantic dinner for two as you cruise towards the celestial realms of Nirvana...2490 euros

While enjoying a romantic dinner in one of the most romantic castles in France, an elegant fireworks display will be set off in the gardens along with an immense blazing red heart...2990 euros





While the two of you privately visit an adorable doll museum, one of the dolls will come to life before your sweetheart's very eyes and hand him/her your tender declaration of love... 2990 euros

You'll dine in private in a castle before visiting the gardens where you'll be surprised by a giant bottle of champagne revealing your declaration of love while hundreds of balloons are released into the air...2990 euros

In the heart of a castle perched high in the valley, you'll be savoring a delicious lunch when suddenly a giant banderol will glide across the sky thus revealing your incredible declaration of love...2990 euros


While dining in a futuristic restaurant, a cybernetic man will appear and reveal your surprising declaration of love on his incorporated TV screen...2990 euros

The City of Light will be dressed to the nines as you cruise in a Rolls Royce across its most stunning districts in a prelude to your enchanting declaration of love on the Champs Elysees...2990 euros


You'll be enjoying a leisurely ride in a horse-drawn carriage through a noble forest just beside the Château de Chantilly when two 18th century bandits -- which only a prince could fight off -- will try to ambush you...3990 euros

Hand in hand you'll visit a distinguished castle and meet the famous Lieutenant Columbo who'll head an amazing investigation which will conclude with your declaration of love...3990 euros

After having dined in a wonderfully charming castle, you'll take a romantic stroll in the park which will be perfumed by a celestial shower of rose petals...4990 euros

You'll be dining aboard a sumptuous private yacht as you cruise along the Seine River, when a shower of 1,000 roses will fall from the sky and cover your sweetheart with tender flowers...4490 euros

You'll share a romantic dinner in a thousand and one night's temple which sparkles with opu-lence and beauty before secretly climbing into a Jacuzzi lit up by candlelight...11900 euros

While delighting in a romantic lunch in a castle perched high on a hill, an aerial display team will appear from out of nowhere and draw a giant heart in the sky...15900 euros

AWAITING HAS BEEN A'WAITING FOR SOME PICTURES OF A MAN'S SHOES.

"I want to see what kind of shoes a single man wears," the Mississippian Mom commented (or something along those lines) on one of my recent postings about MY STUFF.

Here it is.

I do humbly offer my apologies. About the only thing that's missing are my winter snow boots, my black dress shoes and my Perry Como lounging slippers.

I don't think this is what Awaiting was awaiting, but I blew out my tire last night and had to change said tire early this morning in temperatures of -35C with the windchill.

I have only recently returned from paying $197 Cdn for a new tire to be installed, a process that took half my day. My fingers, ears, eyeballs and some other body parts are still numb.

I fully expect I will be told I need new shoes too. And no, I was not wearing my sandals this morning.

I think what I need most is a vacation.

Christmas, Collection Bin Style

SOMETIMES THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

ISN'T WHAT WE WANT IT TO BE.

I don't want to make this a depressing post, not at all. And I know it isn't telling anyone anything they don't already know.

But I do want to let you in on something I witnessed Tuesday.

These pictures were taken from a distance through my bedroom window of a woman I've seen for the last several months, a woman who looks Chinese, maybe about 50 or 55.

She rides around on a bike with paper bags hanging from the handle bars and goes through recycling containers and garbage bins (like the big blue one she's rummaging through above) in my apartment complex.

Her face is very weathered. I've seen her several times and she's seen me, but she never looks at me -- I've imagined that's because of some sense of lost pride -- and she always wears a mask.

There doesn't appear to be any embarrassment on her part. She doesn't try to hide what she's doing and is all business as she searches for bottles, cans and anything else she can salvage.

I have sometimes thought I should talk to her, or offer her help, or something, but I don't sense she wants any. Still, I somehow feel drawn to her and curious about her life.

The final picture below is a shot of her (bending down by her bike) and another woman, a resident here, walking by, carrying what very well could be a Christmas gift she plans on giving to someone on Dec. 25.

I wonder what this bike-riding woman will be doing on Christmas morning.

NOSE CUTS AND OTHER BIZARRE SHAVING SNAFUS

I have always hating shaving. And now I hate it even more.

See the cut on the tip of my nose? I cut myself there not by trying to shave THERE, but by shaving the left side of my face and then bringing my hand, with razor in it, over my nose to shave the right side.

What hairy follicle-filled tales of close shaving disasters do you have to share?

My STUFF (Part 2)

Because there were so many pix of items I couldn't include in the last post, I'm throwing them out today only because I'd feel badly if I excluded them.

And I'm still excluding some stuff. Like the art my mom has given me over the years -- a wooden picture carving, for example, of jazz musicians; a metal ship; a painting of a house on a mountain.

As I explained in the previous post, this stuff is all part of me, things I will never part with, things I always want around to remind me of different times and stages and experiences.

The painting that's shaped like a pipe is called Pipe Dreams 1984 by a Winnipeg artist named Jerry Bone. It was New Year's Eve 1983, a year after I got married, we were at a New Year's bash at the Winnipeg Art Gallery.

It was of course all about George Orwell's 1984, cruise missile testing over Canada, the Cold War, acid rain, the brain and all kinds of other stuff. I dropped $1,000 on it in a bit of an alcohol-induced spending spree.

I love it.

BAH HUMBUG! I had a picture on here I inadvertently deleted of a cup shaped like a breast with a nipple on it. It was given to me by my sister, who had it given to her after she had a radical mastectomy (removal of both breasts due to cancer).

The pic of the shapely bottle opener lady on the left was a gift to me from Homo Escapeons, my dearest friend, when I split with my wife.

The weird stuff in the middle (if it comes out in the middle on Blogger) includes two decorative metal face thingies I picked up from India, along with an old 1903 British tour guide of India, which is sitting on top of a little music box I picked up in Syria.

The picture of the sunset over a lake on the right is a picture of Wallace Lake in northeastern Manitoba that I took in the 1980s. The cottage my ex's parents owned there is a place we often went to, but which I never go to now.

And it's a place I miss.



The wall hanging on the left is an obviously sexually graphic, really cool Kama Sutra-like image I also picked up in India.

And the sculpture on the right was done by my son when I enrolled him in an art class a few years ago...

Again, I'd love to see any such stuff from others, if they care to share their personal stuff...