IMMINENT DISASTER

MY TIME ON THIS EARTH AND IN THIS EXISTENCE IS OVER.

The clock is ticking. I'm a goner.

It's time to hit the panic button. My life is flashing in front of me.

My head is exploding at the prospect. A nuclear device has been detonated -- or will be, soon, I'm certain of it -- and it will obliterate me.

Is this what all the believers are always talking about? The end-times? The apocalypse? Armageddon? Shudder...THE RAPTURE?

I don't even have a will. But wait, if the world's about to end, I guess I don't need one.

In fact, I don't need to write my own obituary, I don't need to schedule a funeral service, I don't need to have my body cremated.

All that will be unnecessary. Because I have only a few last tick-tocks on the clock to live.

Yep, it's a nuclear holocaust in my head.

But I WILL be saved!

And so will everyone else who happens to be around me when my head explodes!

They'll all be swooped up in the vacuum of veracity that I have lived!

Even as the sinners are systematically and summarily sent to Satan!

Oh, wait. Maybe not.

No, it's just an email from work. The subject line read, "IMMINENT password expiry date in 14 days." And it had a red exclamation point that eerily resembled a mushroom cloud.

I'd better tend to this. Go about your business.

Chris,
A reminder that your login password expires in 14 days and must be changed before this time.

If you do not change your password before this time, you will lose all access to your email, VPN, and network drives.

Please remember that passwords must be a minimum of 6 characters and include at least one capital letter and at least one number or symbol.

If your password has already expired, you will not be able to change it and will have to call the helpdesk in order to have it changed.