The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

September 24, 2008

THIS is (my) CNN

I think, sometimes, that CNN goes way over the top.

Let's face it, it's a money-making, profit-oriented media machine.

Its coverage of the O.J. Simpson chase and trial really vaulted it into the public consciousness -- at least for me -- and ever since then, it's gone wild.

In 2008, what CNN decides is news IS news.

And it decides virtually everything IS breaking news, whether it's of consequence or not, because viewers will glob on to that and stay glued to their TVs. And that's what CNN wants.

Having said that, CNN's coverage of Wednesday's decision by John McCain to suspend his campaign in order to deal with the financial crisis, followed by George Wacko Bush's retarded address to the nation, was superb.

So here are some of my favourite and not so favourite CNN celebrities. And let's face it, with their ratings, these people ARE celebrities, or at least huge media personalities.

OK, I declare -- my true political commentator hero is Bill Maher, who actually ISN'T a presidential candidate or a CNN employee but who should be one or the other or both.

The guy, to me, is amazing and gives me faith in the human race.

Maher is not only brilliant, but he's FUNNY brilliant, he's honest, he tells it like it is and helps those of us willing to listen to see through the bullshit that the American political/religious systems are.

He's on CNN (primarily Larry King Live) all the time, but the mainstream networks won't let him have the airtime he deserves because he's so "politically incorrect" that would embarrass those networks.

So instead, he's on HBO or something like that.

If he came here to do a show, I'd pay whatever it took to go and see him. This guy could save the world, but he's too smart to even attempt to try that.

If he ever ran for president, I'd investigate moving to the U.S., seeing if I could get citizenship and vote for him. I'm serious.

OK, so now on to CNN proper.

Guys like Wolf Blitzer, well, they're just the talking heads, although intelligent ones. They're the "sensible" journalist guys who can get all the spin doctors to spin their spin.

But then there's the stars.

And I'm tellin' you, Campbell Brown (below) is their rising star -- intelligent, beautiful, honest, gorgeous, voracious, hot, to the point, sexy...and did I say she was incredibly good-looking?

Thankfully, CNN isn't all about personality, good looks and political correctness.

That's where this guy (below) is so great. CNN has all their crapola political spinsters say their bit, then they get Jack Cafferty to weigh in.

And he says it exactly like it needs to be said.

John King's been around for a while, and he does a brilliant job (below).

He's smart, smooth, analytical and puts things into context without any spin. He's one of their go-to guys to really help people understand.

He does that.

Anderson Cooper, the guy whose show is known as 360, really does spin, however, as the title of his show suggests.

I think he's too smooth, he's too teflon, he's too perfect. He's everywhere. He's in Iraq one minute and in Tecumseh, W. Va., the next.

He's in the middle of a typhoon in Asia, and then he's got a raincoat on in New Orleans moments later warning about a hurricane.

And his hair never changes. Bleh.

Larry King is Larry King. Is he actually still alive or do they plop a puppet in that seat every night? And couldn't they give him tougher questions to ask?

But I have to admit some of the most personal, meaningful, honest revelations I've ever seen important world figures like Bill Clinton make have been uttered on Larry King Live.

That's got to be a reflection on King's ability to make those people open up enough and feel comfortable enough to say those things. King's a special journalist who can make things happen.

Lou Blobbs, I mean Dobbs, is a big blowhard.

When he interviews someone, it's all about him, not about them. He's got a big head, and that's good, because he's got a massive ego and it has to fit somewhere.

Glenn Beck, well, he's just a right-wing nut job.

He's just one of those smart-ass guys that, in grade school, you'd see up on the top of the hill and you'd want to go kick him in the gonads and shove him off just to shut him up.

Nancy Grace -- well, she's just out of control. CNN banished her to their Headline News subsidiary because she's so crazy.

Besides, they need something to combat all those crime shows and those stupid reality shows featuring Judge Judy and idiots like that.

I call it OTN -- the Outrage TV Network. Because that's what it's all about.