The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

September 24, 2008

THIS is (my) CNN

I think, sometimes, that CNN goes way over the top.

Let's face it, it's a money-making, profit-oriented media machine.

Its coverage of the O.J. Simpson chase and trial really vaulted it into the public consciousness -- at least for me -- and ever since then, it's gone wild.

In 2008, what CNN decides is news IS news.

And it decides virtually everything IS breaking news, whether it's of consequence or not, because viewers will glob on to that and stay glued to their TVs. And that's what CNN wants.

Having said that, CNN's coverage of Wednesday's decision by John McCain to suspend his campaign in order to deal with the financial crisis, followed by George Wacko Bush's retarded address to the nation, was superb.

So here are some of my favourite and not so favourite CNN celebrities. And let's face it, with their ratings, these people ARE celebrities, or at least huge media personalities.

OK, I declare -- my true political commentator hero is Bill Maher, who actually ISN'T a presidential candidate or a CNN employee but who should be one or the other or both.

The guy, to me, is amazing and gives me faith in the human race.

Maher is not only brilliant, but he's FUNNY brilliant, he's honest, he tells it like it is and helps those of us willing to listen to see through the bullshit that the American political/religious systems are.

He's on CNN (primarily Larry King Live) all the time, but the mainstream networks won't let him have the airtime he deserves because he's so "politically incorrect" that would embarrass those networks.

So instead, he's on HBO or something like that.

If he came here to do a show, I'd pay whatever it took to go and see him. This guy could save the world, but he's too smart to even attempt to try that.

If he ever ran for president, I'd investigate moving to the U.S., seeing if I could get citizenship and vote for him. I'm serious.

OK, so now on to CNN proper.

Guys like Wolf Blitzer, well, they're just the talking heads, although intelligent ones. They're the "sensible" journalist guys who can get all the spin doctors to spin their spin.

But then there's the stars.

And I'm tellin' you, Campbell Brown (below) is their rising star -- intelligent, beautiful, honest, gorgeous, voracious, hot, to the point, sexy...and did I say she was incredibly good-looking?

Thankfully, CNN isn't all about personality, good looks and political correctness.

That's where this guy (below) is so great. CNN has all their crapola political spinsters say their bit, then they get Jack Cafferty to weigh in.

And he says it exactly like it needs to be said.

John King's been around for a while, and he does a brilliant job (below).

He's smart, smooth, analytical and puts things into context without any spin. He's one of their go-to guys to really help people understand.

He does that.

Anderson Cooper, the guy whose show is known as 360, really does spin, however, as the title of his show suggests.

I think he's too smooth, he's too teflon, he's too perfect. He's everywhere. He's in Iraq one minute and in Tecumseh, W. Va., the next.

He's in the middle of a typhoon in Asia, and then he's got a raincoat on in New Orleans moments later warning about a hurricane.

And his hair never changes. Bleh.

Larry King is Larry King. Is he actually still alive or do they plop a puppet in that seat every night? And couldn't they give him tougher questions to ask?

But I have to admit some of the most personal, meaningful, honest revelations I've ever seen important world figures like Bill Clinton make have been uttered on Larry King Live.

That's got to be a reflection on King's ability to make those people open up enough and feel comfortable enough to say those things. King's a special journalist who can make things happen.

Lou Blobbs, I mean Dobbs, is a big blowhard.

When he interviews someone, it's all about him, not about them. He's got a big head, and that's good, because he's got a massive ego and it has to fit somewhere.

Glenn Beck, well, he's just a right-wing nut job.

He's just one of those smart-ass guys that, in grade school, you'd see up on the top of the hill and you'd want to go kick him in the gonads and shove him off just to shut him up.

Nancy Grace -- well, she's just out of control. CNN banished her to their Headline News subsidiary because she's so crazy.

Besides, they need something to combat all those crime shows and those stupid reality shows featuring Judge Judy and idiots like that.

I call it OTN -- the Outrage TV Network. Because that's what it's all about.


  1. Most of those characters are properly lambasted on Dickipedia and we agree that Infotainment is the new model..which is weird because even though people have all the information in the world at their fingertips they are either too lazy, too busy, or just too f*cking stupid to take advantage of it? We're hopeless.

    Anyway we are going to see Bill's new movie next is the reeler link..can't wait.

  2. You are quite right, Your Ridiculousness. Yes, we are going to go see Bill's new movie.

    But if you wear that stupid wig, I'm going to beat the snot out of you and leave you in a back lane to die.

  3. I recognized only three names out of all the ones you posted. I rarely watch CNN. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

  4. A man whose every hair remains in place during a hurricane cannot be trusted.

    Ooooo, there's Lord T!


  5. Anna:

    If this means you're not much of a TV watcher period, I would say it's a good thing.

    There's a lot to be said for NOT having a bead on all the bad stuff that's going on.

    But as a newshound, I find myself going there quite often, just to see what the big spin of the day is.


    Oh, for gawd's sake.

    Mr. Dopey photoshops his face into the body of some 18th-century idiot with poofy hair and you're all aflutter.

    What would you do if he put the green elf shorts over his head?

  6. Could you not suspend your disbelief for just one moment?

    Lord T is no relation to the blogger known as Donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

    Although he may be one of Donnnnn's ancestors hence the resemblance.

  7. MJ:

    OK, just to allow you to have your moment of swoon, I'll suspend my disbelief.

    (*Taps fingers, whistles a tune appropriate for Lord T's time such as Bach's Concerto in D Minor, turns head the other way*)

  8. i found your blog through don's, er, lord tennisanyone, that is.

    i agree with you on maher. LOVE the guy! brilliant. but mainstream media is not ready for him cause THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

    and i'm a cnn watcher though i only watch wolf and brown. occassionaly, king. the rest, eh...

    liking your blog. will come back to visit again soon.

  9. Rebecca:


    I think Donnnnnn, er Homo Escapeons, er Lord Tennisanyone has moved on to some new existence now, but I know who you mean.

    I think.

    Maher is excellent. And CNN and the mainstream media could never REALLY give him too much air time because his common sense would essentially put them out of business.

    They'd have nothing to report about all the screwups because Maher would have solved them.

    His truth, if put into action, would make us all free -- and render the mainstream media pointless.

    Lord T and I will be heading out to Bill's movie next month. I'll report on the outing, complete with pictures.

    Thanks for droppin' by and I'll check out your blog soon...

  10. You know, it's funny how you posted about CNN...I'm actually spending a lot of time these past few weeks watching CNN and MSNBC for news coverage...I only watch FOX for the cartoons...

    My favorite political observer has to be comedian Chris Rock!

    He had some great observations and lines on Larry King last night. Regarding the state of the economy and the presidential race, he said something like, America is broke! And nobody knows broke better than black people!

    And, the race between McCain and Obama can be summarized as the race between the rich and the middle class: The guy with 12 houses [McCain] and the guy with 1 house. The guy with one house will work harder because he can end up being homeless if things go wrong!

  11. Eroswings:

    Nobody watches Fox News for anything but the cartoons...

    I saw Chris Rock coming on Larry King, but missed the interview...he's pretty cool.

    I agree on your assessment of the Obama vs. McCain race to a large degree, wish I could have watched the debate last night.

    I thought Obama was going to smoke him, especially all those stupid theatrics about suspending the campaign, but the reviews suggest there was no clear winner...


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