Super Bore Tailgate Party in the Great White North

WHILE ALL THOSE WEINY WANKERPANTS* THOUSANDS OF MILES SOUTH OF WINTERPEG WERE GEARING UP FOR SUPER BORE XXIIVVCCVIIIIV, WE WERE REVVING UP FOR THE BIG GAME HERE TOO.



OK, maybe not all of us.

My dang camera battery was drained.

So I couldn't immediately take pictures of the 100's of fans at our huge white tail-gating party in the snow at the back of my big, grey Dodge Dakota 4 x 4 rental truck, which I will have to return Tuesday.

OK, maybe not hundreds of fans. In fact, it was just me...

...Looking super stupid trying to take a picture of myself.

There wasn't another soul in sight, but I'm sure people were looking through their windows, saying, 'Who's that dork and why does he have a football in his hands?'

So OK, use your imaginations. Picture the following images in white.

Yes, even beyond the 49th parallel, the National Felons League grabs us by the throat and won't let us go. We Canadians are captured by the glitter and glam of the Super Bore and the tailgate party phenomenon.

It was relatively warm here today, only about 60-70 degrees fahrenheit or more below that of the world's biggest show in Phoenix, so football fans of all stripes (actually, just me) congregated in my apartment's parking lot.

We (I) cooked hot dogs and hamburgers with all the accoutrements, drank copious amounts of beer followed by hot chocolate.

And then we all went to our apartments to fall asleep while the game was on. (Actually, I only went outside to take those pix).

The NY Giants won, I later found out from a lovely lass. So the NE Patriots' unbeaten season is over.

But if it was a hot summer day, this is what it would have looked like...

OK, USC isn't playing in this game. Who cares?

I confess, we did have an editorial board meeting to consider whether we should publish the above photo. We decided that our job here was to portray the Super Bore experience as it really is.

So there you have it.

Hey! It's dark here already! The game started an hour or more ago!

I need to fix up my Super Bowl Supper true to the desert cuisine...baked cactus in rattlensnake sauce, horny-toad lizard deep fry and scorpion a la mode.

Who's playing again? And yes, that's a Canadian Football League ball in my hands. It's true, we have bigger balls up here, it's in the rules. (There is no intention here to make any puns. Really).

* Weiny Wankerpants is a derivative of a phrase first coined by Homo Escapeons, Winky Winkerpants or something, in response to Within Without. There has been no copyright infringement.