Paranormal State and a Pussy Named Donnnnnn

SO WHAT DO TWO 50-SOMETHING EXTREMELY SEXY MEN (OK, ONE) DO WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN AND SOLVE ALL THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS?

They watch about five back-to-back episodes of a ridiculous TV show called Paranormal State, of course.

I had never seen this show -- in fact, I rarely watch any TV shows, much to my friend's chagrin -- but Donnnnnn, the blogger formerly known as Homo Escapeons, is a TV junkie if ever there was one.

So I indulged him Monday night in between his gigantic rye and Pepsi's, the mixed nuts I received for buying my new car and his usual treat of smoked oysters, cheese and pickled chili peppers.

Now Donnnnnn, bless his ever-lovin' heart, is a spectacular father, husband, painter, philosopher, bullshitter extraordinaire and informed idealist. But I learned something more about him Monday.

He's a pussy. Or a wussy. He showed me, I bet five times at least, his bare arm and how his hairs were standing on end. He needed me to see his goose bumps formed as a result of his kid-like fear at watching this show.

This show Paranormal State was interesting, but it's nothing but a series of hoaxes perpetrated by two-bit actors in a reality milieu that sees Penn State University students taking on ghosts, goblins and discontented spirits.

The students are contacted by families or business owners who believe their houses or whatever are haunted. They take the case on and conduct interviews, bring in equipment, investigate, research...

It's all pretty clever and, to some degree, captivating and interesting to watch, especially at Dead Time (3 a.m.), when they all sit around and try to contact the spirit or ghost or whatever.

They ask the spirit to show them a sign. A glass breaks or a lightbulb or a bang is heard or a door creaks open. After three or four days, they come to a conclusion and show how they've brought the mystery to a head.

So it's a cool show. But the point here is that Donnnnnn was like a six-year-old. He kept telling me "I shouldn't be watching this. I shouldn't be watching this." And he'd say things like, "Oh, no!"

Here are a few pix...

Look at him, covering himself in his sweater. God. You'd think he was feeling a ghost's cold touch.

Below, I actually got him to smile as I continued laughing at how afraid he truly was. I was considering calling his lovely wife to come and pick him up and take him home, but I opted not to.

So here's the star of the show, the lead investigator who runs this Penn State group investigating these incidents. I can't remember his name. He's pretty sharp, this young kid.

And here's Donnnnnn's favourite character, Chip Coffey, the obviously flaming gay medium or psychic who was brought in for three or more of the episodes to tell the students what he sensed in the house or barn or whatever it was...

BOO!

And here's the two of them together, if I remember correctly, talking during DEAD TIME!!!

So after I had spent about two hours laughing at Donnnnnn, he posed for these pictures -- the ham -- after I told him I had to write a blog post about this.

At around the stroke of midnight, I kicked him out. He quickly ran away, worried that a scary spirit might follow him to his van. Or, worse, that Chip might take a liking to him and be all over his ass.

So this is what we have become. Amazing.