Eventually, however, he showed himself and consumed smoked oysters, pickled peppers, pickles, crackers, pickled onions and a partridge in a pear tree. And he bored me beyond belief.
He tried to frighten me, to no avail.
Eventually, once he realized he could not confound me with his ridiculous rhetoric and his idiotic ideals and his brilliant bravado, he calmed down and we were able to converse in our eerily strange Winnipeg dialect.
Nothing he does surprises me or frightens me any more. I just put it down to his unique existence as some lost link between history and the future, between morals and moribundity, between culture and craziness.
I know he was effusive before, and he's elusive now.
His name is Homo Escapeons, just Donn with a ridiculous two "n's" to me. I believe he will be back to blog so he can spur on his species and make other ridiculous claims.
But keep in mind he is a wild and often incredibly stupid hominid, by most standards, despite his alluring ardour and outrageous outrageousness.
He doesn't clean up after himself and leaves stains all over my sink.
But he DOES exist. For now, that's all you need to know.