AND NOW, HE IS IN GREAT JEOPARDY! BECAUSE HE HAS INSULTED ALL OF CANADA BY MAKING GAGS AT THE EXPENSE OF THIS GREAT NEENER OF THE NORTH:
Yes, it's Alex Trebek, the witty, debonair dolt from North of the 49th who has been host of Jeopardy since the dawning of the Paleozic Era, Canada's Master of the Moustache and Quirky Questioner.
For those of you who don't read the newspapers, here's the Associated Press story:
Jeopardy! ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show — and dapper host Alex Trebek.
"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.
"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."
Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.
"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."
Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on Jeopardy! in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg. (Eds note: rumours that he carried on a back-stage romance with Trebek were never denied, but never proven).
Canadian-born Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.
"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot.'"
Trebek has offered no comment. However, thousands of elderly Canadian women were boarding buses late last night armed with placards and broom handles saying "Kill Ken."
American security officials were on high alert at border crossings.