The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

July 25, 2006

IN JEOPARDY!

THIS MAN MAY LOOK FUNNY, BUT HE'S EXTREMELY RICH AND APPARENTLY QUITE SMART...

AND NOW, HE IS IN GREAT JEOPARDY! BECAUSE HE HAS INSULTED ALL OF CANADA BY MAKING GAGS AT THE EXPENSE OF THIS GREAT NEENER OF THE NORTH:


Yes, it's Alex Trebek, the witty, debonair dolt from North of the 49th who has been host of Jeopardy since the dawning of the Paleozic Era, Canada's Master of the Moustache and Quirky Questioner.

For those of you who don't read the newspapers, here's the Associated Press story:

Jeopardy! ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show — and dapper host Alex Trebek.
"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.
"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."
Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.
"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."
Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on Jeopardy! in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg. (Eds note: rumours that he carried on a back-stage romance with Trebek were never denied, but never proven).
Canadian-born Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.
"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot.'"

Trebek has offered no comment. However, thousands of elderly Canadian women were boarding buses late last night armed with placards and broom handles saying "Kill Ken."

American security officials were on high alert at border crossings.

40 comments:

  1. I'll take "Canadian Cyborgs" for $400, Alex"

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  2. I think you'll find that Alex has been host of Jeopardy since the Cretaceous Era.

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  3. OK, Infomaniac!

    For $400 and the early lead:

    Who was the only Canadian Cyborg to serve a mere nine months in office as prime minister?

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  4. Kyk:

    Damned picky historians.

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  5. I saw a bit on television last week about Alex. Apparently if you say "Umm" or "Ahhh" before asking him a question, he will not respond to you. I guess it's his pet peeve. Or perhaps Cyborgs don't respond to "Umm".

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  6. I don't care if he's a cyborg, I still love Alex Trebek, with or without afro or moustache. I don't care much for Ken, he is annoying, obnoxious and just very good at answering questions, that doesn't necessarily mean he's intelligent. I am a devoted Jeopardy fan who envisions herself winning thousands one day on the show, unless they have a lot of sports categories, at which I suck.

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  7. WHAT?!
    Alex is about as wild and crazy as a Canadian can get!
    He is like our version of Robin Williams up here.

    Canadians are always shocked at how informal Alex can be at times. Did you know that he adlibs half of the insane comedic banter that seems to just pop out of his moustachioed mouth!

    That's right. I don't know where he gets all of those zingers but he 'kills' me with his zany comic stylings.

    The man is a national treasure. We will not see the likes of him again. Not in my lifetime anyway.

    How dare you Ken.
    How dare you.

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  8. I'll take a stab at the $400 question if I may.

    Who is?...
    CLARK, Charles Joseph (Joe) June 4, 1979-March 2, 1980.

    He, however, considered his nine months as Prime Minister as a stepping stone in becoming minister of foreign affairs.

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  9. Since I'm already here in the states, I'll go give Ken a serious noogy for insulting Trebeck.

    I do this out of the goodness of my hear.

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  10. Ken Jennings couldn't get laid in a womens prison! HA!

    Oh I am sorry,
    in an institution for female offenders! HA!

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  11. I'm too late. I believe that Brian rang the bell before me with his correct answer of Joe Who.

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  12. Hee hee. Bad boy. But to get just a little off topic, my best memory of Joe Who? doesn't even involve him (or Alex or Ken...). I was on a remote Greek island when he was elected and knowing the date, I asked an elderly Greek man if his newspaper had any news on Canada. He lit up! "Ah yes! Canada!" and pointed to a photo of Maggie Trudeau dancing at Studio 54. Sad really.

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  13. Well, this certainly illicited an unexpected response! Alex should consider himself defended!!!

    Christine:
    Being a Canadian cyborg myself, I must admit to having the same pet peeve as Alex. It's a glitch.

    Carmenzta:
    I'm with you, Carm, despite my inadvertent use of the word, dolt. I think Alex is quite witty and charming, a perfect speaker and host. But I needed you to say that, not me.

    And I agree with your assessment on Ken. He seems like a smart-ass, the kind of kid I would have beat up at school as a wise-acre. (And I didn't beat up ANYBODY at school unless they picked on me first!)

    Homo:
    OK, he's a good guy...but wild and crazy? I think that's stretching it. What I remember that maybe our American friends would never have seen was his work with the underprivileged kids, doing commercials (presumably and hopefully for free) on their behalf.

    Brian: Yes, you beat out MJ and, tsk tsk on me, you're right, Joe Clark held office for nine months, not eight, as I now recall.

    I will post another question in a moment.

    Pam:
    We appreciate your offer and will take you up on it. Please provide video and audio when you blog about it. If a noogie's not enough, just shoot him. Do it out of the goodness of your hear(t).

    Homo squared:
    Where did that come from?

    Andrea:
    Oh, now you're passing on state secrets about Joe Who. He was always eclipsed by, if not Maggie, his wife whose name I can't remember just now. Or by his triple chin.

    But he was a very intelligent man...

    OK, so our next Jeopardy question:

    What other Canadian cyborg prime minister is largely credited with establishing the institution now known as the United Nations?

    And the music video now playing on my fancy schmanzy new toy thingie is Speed of Sound by Coldplay...

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  14. Lester B. Pearson?

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  15. Ahem. "Who is Lester B. Pearson?"
    Phew. That was close.

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  16. Didnt know abt Alex b4 but he seems like a good fella. Ken deserves a zillion rotten tomatoes by the granmas :)

    Keshi.

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  17. Well! Ken can just give the money back, because I love Alex ...
    ... but then I am old!

    OK where was I ... WW I enjoyed this post. And a good Wednesday Morning to ya!

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  18. OOOHH, WW, I'm sorry bu you forgot to make your original post in the form of a question, and that puts you back to $900 . . . .

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  19. OK, MJ, you da winner!!! Although you were almost disqualified for not answering with a question.

    Can't stump you! (well, let me try one more time, seeing as I can't immediately think of anything to write a new post about...)

    For $800, who signed a $1 million contract to play for the Winnipeg Jets at the corner of Portage and Main, and in what year?

    Keshi:
    Ken deserves a zillion somethings...yeah, tomatoes might do...

    Liquid Plastic:
    Nice to see you again! Nah, you go ahead and love Alex. Seems he has lots 'a fans, not just in Canada.

    FE:
    And where you been, my fellow journalist weenie? You're right, I'm docked $900, rules are rules...

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  20. How's it been going? I've been on episode two of "Let's Put All the Group's Papers on the New Press Before Any System Testing's Been Done."

    Looks like it'll be a miniseries for the next two or three weeks.

    And I'll take unabashed smugness for $300 Alex: Who's surprised that all the "Jeopardy" aficionados on this thread are seemingly oblivious to the fact that Art Fleming made a career out of Jeopardy long before Alex brought his brand of understated Canadian charm to the the multi-screen? Eh?

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  21. Hi FE...

    Sorry, I guess I had seen some mention in the comments section of your blog something about this...

    Doesn't sound like much fun. Best of luck with it.

    I've found that since I returned to work from two weeks' vacation, I have very little time or not nearly as much energy to blog or to visit others' sites, I kinda feel like I'm in withdrawal or something.

    It's quite disconcerting.

    Nonetheless, I'm whining. You are quite right and you deserve to be smug. Alex the Afterthought just inherited a golden opp.

    And he took some advantage of it.

    Eh?

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  22. Sorry, I was just letting off some steam there. Actually, Art Fleming was an uptight, boring f***.

    And it took me most of the day to shake off most of the anti-societial attitude I'd built up over the past three days. It's good to be back among folks again.

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  23. "I'll take the 1960's for 1000 Alex"

    "And the answer is... Dubbed Audio Animatronics by its creators, this is the more common name for this Game Show Host."

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  24. Uh, who is Wink Martindale?

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  25. FE: Glad to have you back. I'm not sure we're really your average folks, though...

    And you mentioned Wink? Now wouldn't you like to have that name? In fact, that's my next avatar, I figure...

    BreakersLion:

    That's a risky wager, but...YOU'RE RIGHT!

    Keshi: Sorry, have been tied up (well, not really tied up, but) and haven't visited lately.

    Thanks for gracing me with your presence again. I'll try to post a new blog sometime this century.

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  26. Hey wake up!

    You haven't changed your profile photo in the last hour!

    The Baboon fixing your'windscreen'
    (as cherry calls it) is the most appropriate attempt to date of capturing both your curious nature and your inability to fix anything.

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  27. HE:

    You're bang on, monkey face, which is why I thought it was so appropriate...

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  28. mwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! the poor guy... (alex that is)...

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  29. Yes indeed, Angel. But speaking for Alex, he and his mom don't appreciate your wild giggle...

    Nice to see you again.

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  30. WW,

    Compared to some of the people I've been dealing with lately, y'all are positively mid-bell curve.

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  31. The elderly women part just cracked me up!

    Smooch,
    The Tart
    ; )

    BTW, great words of wisdom over at Angel's bloggy!

    Ps. I love how you avatar changes ~ < ; *

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  32. IT'S THE FAMOUS TART!

    Well thanks, you, for takin' a gander.

    Wonder whatever happened to the old women's Trebek Trek and whether they ever caught up to wotshisname?

    Angel's a peach. And maybe I'll make a peach my next avatar...

    Have a great weekend...

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  33. thanx dude- "peach" is a new one!

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  34. Angel:

    I have opted to delay the introduction of a peach as my new avatar.

    Instead, I finally found on Google Images a depiction of the Orion Constellation that was actually within the 68-character limit that Blogger insists on for an avatar.

    That is, of course, keeping in my Snippets from Spaceship Orion blog title, so the avatar actually almost correlates with the title of my blog.

    Silly me. I'm storing the peach idea for next week...or who knows, maybe tomorrow?

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  35. My God! It's full of stars!

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  36. Uhhh....yeah, FE. Yeah.

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  37. Sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation to riff off Keir Dullea.

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  38. FE: What, did Keir Dullea actually say that, perhaps her most intelligent line ever:

    "It's full of stars!"

    Did she?

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  39. I came prepared to answer this one, by golly.

    Keir didn't say it in 2001. He actually said it in 2010: The Year We Made Contact.

    When I went to see it - with my grad school roommate after we'd polished off a half gallon of 'death juice,' or grapefruit juice and grain - Keir whispered the line in question.

    Said roomie helpfully added: "Moons, four leaf clovers!"

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