The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

July 19, 2006


I know, I know...

This is the second consecutive post where I am writing about the testicles, penises or otherwise. I should instead be blogging about Beirut, about George Bu-shit and his veto, about the Indonesian tsunami.

Instead, I bring to you now word of yet another phallically oriented phenomenon that has migrated to Canada from the Excited States, as evidenced in this (edited) story from The Canadian Press:

EDMONTON -- It takes mighty big balls to drive a truck in Alberta these days.

The latest in prairie chic is to dangle enormous, plastic, fake testicles from beneath the rear bumpers of pickup trucks.

And while one might think the balls are the ultimate expression of manhood, retailers in Edmonton say a surprising number of women have been purchasing the pairs.

"It's redneck Alberta," said one truck retailer who didn't want her name used.

"We brought them up on a gag last Christmas and we've ordered quite a few. They've been selling like hotcakes."

The testicles come in different colours to match the truck and are also available in brass and chrome. They cost between $40 and $50 and are available in smaller sizes for motorcycles.


Having been born in Alberta and lived there for almost 15 years, I can attest to its redneck ways. If any Canadian province is ready to join the States, it's right-wing, pro-business, conservative Alberta.

I've never gotten this thing about people projecting their personalities through their cars, young punks revving up their big-shot V8 hemis at a red light..."ooohhh, you da man!"

OK, I can see the personalized licence plates...But do people ANYWHERE really need to have giant balls attached to their bumpers to prove their manhood? Or is to make up for their lack of same?

And hangin' that low, I wouldn't stifle a chuckle if the dangling gonads rubbed the ground a bit or got swallowed up by a famous Canadian pothole or two on the highway...