I HAVE RETURNED...

BUT ONLY IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.

See that handsome lad above? That's my nephew, Joshua.

See the short snowman he's with? That's me, after returning from Outer Space and the Orion Nebula.

In my last dispatch, I explained that earth's gravity and some sad circumstances had weighed my Orionesque form down to nothing more than about eight inches tall. I could barely move, much less function.

I was summoned by my planet's leaders to return for de-gravitization, a process that usually takes one earth year. But my treatments were cut short, so to speak.

My boss back here on Earth sent a text message saying he needed me here to cover an event that features rocks with handles on them, ice (of course...what else in February?) and brooms in a sport that rhymes with hurling and begins with the letter "c."

I immediately launched my spaceship back to this planet, only to return to -48C temperatures with the windchill. My body, especially in its highly gravitized state, could not handle the transition.

The result is what you see above.

But I promised a postcard or two of my travels, so here they are.

This is me using the hypertronic defibulator to blast through an oncoming meteor, thereby saving the Earth while you were all asleep.

My mother spaceship, flying into a sun.



Me in my little rover spaceship

OK, that's it. I was going to do a Valentine's Day post, but I have no time and I'm quickly melting, so I must hurry.

I'm on the road to Brandon Thursday morning for a weekend of the thing that rhymes with hurling but starts with the letter "c."

Be well. And Happy Valentine's Day.