The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

September 9, 2008

Paranormal State and a Pussy Named Donnnnnn

SO WHAT DO TWO 50-SOMETHING EXTREMELY SEXY MEN (OK, ONE) DO WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN AND SOLVE ALL THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS?

They watch about five back-to-back episodes of a ridiculous TV show called Paranormal State, of course.

I had never seen this show -- in fact, I rarely watch any TV shows, much to my friend's chagrin -- but Donnnnnn, the blogger formerly known as Homo Escapeons, is a TV junkie if ever there was one.

So I indulged him Monday night in between his gigantic rye and Pepsi's, the mixed nuts I received for buying my new car and his usual treat of smoked oysters, cheese and pickled chili peppers.

Now Donnnnnn, bless his ever-lovin' heart, is a spectacular father, husband, painter, philosopher, bullshitter extraordinaire and informed idealist. But I learned something more about him Monday.

He's a pussy. Or a wussy. He showed me, I bet five times at least, his bare arm and how his hairs were standing on end. He needed me to see his goose bumps formed as a result of his kid-like fear at watching this show.

This show Paranormal State was interesting, but it's nothing but a series of hoaxes perpetrated by two-bit actors in a reality milieu that sees Penn State University students taking on ghosts, goblins and discontented spirits.

The students are contacted by families or business owners who believe their houses or whatever are haunted. They take the case on and conduct interviews, bring in equipment, investigate, research...

It's all pretty clever and, to some degree, captivating and interesting to watch, especially at Dead Time (3 a.m.), when they all sit around and try to contact the spirit or ghost or whatever.

They ask the spirit to show them a sign. A glass breaks or a lightbulb or a bang is heard or a door creaks open. After three or four days, they come to a conclusion and show how they've brought the mystery to a head.

So it's a cool show. But the point here is that Donnnnnn was like a six-year-old. He kept telling me "I shouldn't be watching this. I shouldn't be watching this." And he'd say things like, "Oh, no!"

Here are a few pix...

Look at him, covering himself in his sweater. God. You'd think he was feeling a ghost's cold touch.

Below, I actually got him to smile as I continued laughing at how afraid he truly was. I was considering calling his lovely wife to come and pick him up and take him home, but I opted not to.



So here's the star of the show, the lead investigator who runs this Penn State group investigating these incidents. I can't remember his name. He's pretty sharp, this young kid.



And here's Donnnnnn's favourite character, Chip Coffey, the obviously flaming gay medium or psychic who was brought in for three or more of the episodes to tell the students what he sensed in the house or barn or whatever it was...
BOO!




And here's the two of them together, if I remember correctly, talking during DEAD TIME!!!



So after I had spent about two hours laughing at Donnnnnn, he posed for these pictures -- the ham -- after I told him I had to write a blog post about this.





At around the stroke of midnight, I kicked him out. He quickly ran away, worried that a scary spirit might follow him to his van. Or, worse, that Chip might take a liking to him and be all over his ass.
So this is what we have become. Amazing.

27 comments:

  1. He's not scared.

    He's trying to cover his woody with his sweater.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, well, I wondered what his strange fascination with Chip was all about...

    Now I have to wash my black leather couch...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds like a fun night with good friends and good eats.

    I'd be more afraid of college students trying to clear out ghosts--how do I know I'm not paying for pot induced hallucinations?

    I so hear ya on elections. These voters need to get out and make the right choice--enough Republican bull!

    The fotos of your travels in the American burbs were awesome. Ya think the praying mantis is still alive? Probably fed on some poor suitor by now. Hopefully, it'll feed on some conservative right wing nutcases.

    I say leave the dead be; I don't mess with them and they don't mess with me...I'm sure a good pepper spray can keep a Chip haunting away...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay, you guys are weird.

    Donnnnnn's a wussy boy who is secretly turned on by ghost hunting college boys, and you get off on watching him being pseudo scared......

    Whatever turns your crank!

    By the way, you're BOTH 50-something sexy guys....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:59 a.m.

    I was previously lead to believe that "spending time w/ the guys" involved shooting pool, drinking beer, belching contests, and snickering while leafing thru girlie magazines...I wish I didn't know the truth!

    AB Girl

    ReplyDelete
  6. there's not much to do in Whateverpeg of an evening eh?

    Sad boys, very sad! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Now hold on a minute! I don't see any pictures of you sitting in your Sailor Moon jammies hiding behind your Teddy Bear 'Joshie'?

    I would expect a more balanced account of events from a reporter. You were just as smitten by Chip Coffey and his take charge attitude. Chip doesn't take any crap from those petulant ghosts...
    and that's exactly the kind of guy you want in your corner when things go bump in the night.

    I can say without hyperbole, that that show is a million times scarier than any other show on TV!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Eroswings:

    Well, it was a fun night watching him cower like that.

    What would have been spectacular was if I could have brought the praying mantis back to Canada and let it go free on the couch while he was watching Paranormal State.

    But he might have had a heart attack right then and there.

    PG:

    Yes, we're weird. And no, I'm the only 50-something sexy guy.

    Ziggi:

    Well maybe you can fly in on your broom two Mondays from now and entertain us, then.

    (I agree, it was pretty lame, but it was his idea; I finally had to start snapping photos in episode No. 3).

    AB Girl:

    Been there, done that -- and a lot more. I.E., YOU try cross-country skiing in the buff in mid-January at 2 a.m.

    :-)

    Donnnnnnn:

    Yeah, right. The photographic evidence is there for all the world to see.

    Wimp. Better call Chip to save you from Charlie and to go bump in YOUR night.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hmm, MJ, you may be right, there is a suspicious crease in my jacket in that second picture..
    and I know that whatshisface doesn't have photoshop.
    *plays theme from The Twilight Zone

    ReplyDelete
  10. WW: Okay, I was trying to not hurt Donnnn's feelings, but you are the sexy one. Although he does look cute, huddled under his fleece thingie.

    So... you snuck in a new car in that post. No more blogging about being stranded in NoWhere, North Dakota???

    Don't know why Donnn thought he would get a balanced account from a reporter? Doesn't he know you are the secret head of the WWP (World Wide Paparazzi) and you will twist the facts to suit your own purposes????

    ReplyDelete
  11. Donnnnn darlin'....come on over to my house if you really wanna be scared. I have teenagers :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Donnnnnn:

    Gawd, I'm never inviting you over again...

    PG:

    What fun would it be providing a balanced account? Although in this case, it WAS accurate.

    He was shit-scared.

    Pamela:

    Donnnnnnnn is always scared. Teenagers or not.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I knew he was a wuss after he avoided me like the plague at IKEA. And rye and Pepsi? Please. Go take a gastronomic lesson from Brian. (Yeah -- it's PMS.)

    ReplyDelete
  14. ANDREA!!!!

    One of the most beautiful women in the history of personskind has deemed to visit and comment!

    Just teasin'.

    Of COURSE he's a wuss. He's the wussiest of wusses, as defined in the new Wussy Online Dictionary.

    But what, pray tell, is wrong with rye and Pepsi?

    Oh...PMS...what, for Brian or for you? :-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. What? You did a post on him? Don't you think, he already got an oversized head?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Not nice to tease! And next time I see YOU at IKEA I'll have to run like hell in the other direction before you learn the unvarnished truth!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Gautami:

    Of course he's got an oversized head, but he has a tiny brain. This is my way of forcing him to think and grow.

    Andrea:

    Whaddya mean, it's not nice to tease? And what's the unvarnished truth about what?

    The odds of us seeing each other in an Ikea store are pretty remote, I figure...

    But hey, never say never!

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's OK Gautami, just put down your sword and come out and admit that you like me...in a Sally Fieldian sort of way...
    you really, really, like me.

    Forget wasting your time trying to get whiskery whatshisface to join in this faux-smear campaign. He can't give you what I have to offer.
    Pfft!

    Besides, what has he ever done for you?
    I'm the logical choice to be your ally, together, we could rule the world. I'm the one who celebrates your genius. Sell me your soul and I'll grant you eternal life...
    can whatshisface promise that?
    Of course not.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey! I like that, Whiskery Whatshisface!

    Gautami, keep your sights and sword squarely focused on Homely. He craves it, as you can clearly tell.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Gautami
    I ask for nothing but your soul, and I promise to return it at the end of eternity.
    C'mon, you don't really need your soul unless you're in a sudden accident or something.
    Pass it over and you can start really living! You don't know what you're missing?

    ReplyDelete
  21. For your next posting, I would like pics of Donnnnn's stiffy.

    Oops. Too many "n's" ... I got excited.

    ReplyDelete
  22. No kidding! Hey Winky you need to look at that mugshot again and then change your profile summary;

    I'm 52, incarcerated, serving two sentences, one for 20 years and another for 16...and just biding my time, liftin' weights, and taking some high school equivalency courses, at my pace.

    ReplyDelete
  23. MJ/Donnnnnnn (PG):

    I knew me resurrecting that photo would get a "rise" out of you!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Actually, of all the pics you've posted here, that is one of my faves.

    Must be something about that 'hardened criminial' look....

    ReplyDelete
  25. At least my soul is not undead!

    And what is a (young) female like me doing with two depraved 50+ year olds?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Gautami:

    I dunno. Must be something in the air between Delhi and Winnipeg.

    ReplyDelete

If you choose to use anonymous to comment, it is only fair that I reserve the right to obliterate your comment from my blog.