The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

September 12, 2008

He's Dead Meat


I've told him that maybe 100 times. As with any boneheaded teenage male, he basically HAS no brain. He only has hormones and totally undeveloped intelligence and instinct.
He's SO unaware and SO alike to me at his age, it's scary.
But I'm crazy about him.
All I wanted to do tonight when I got home was put my feet up and watch my football team crush the team from a much bigger city and the centre of the universe, Toronto. Which they did, 39-9.
But when I got home, this is the destruction I saw.
Three plates, at least, two oven trays, tons of utensils...all left for me to clean up.

I give him warning after warning after warning. Of course, he ignores almost all of them.
Also, of course, he's a total goober. I mean, he's a teenage guy.
Of course, too, my caring for him is unconditional.
But really, this transcended even that.
So like I said, he is dead.
He's dead meat, when I pick him up tonight from work at 2 a.m.


  1. Wow..My intial response is that it is time for a little tough Love buddy.Get the key and when he's ready to respect your rules you can put him on probation for a while.

    You're not really doing him any favours by letting him get away with this. He's old enough to know better and there is still time to retrain him.

    It won't be easy on either of you but he needs to learn some boundaries. RFN. Short term pain long term gain.

    Try to remember that guiding a child is the toughest job in the world, but it's also the most rewarding. It's not easy being a Great Dad and a Good Father because they have slightly different job descriptions...
    but you need to address this pronto and get it out of the way...

    because the 'real doozies' are yet to come!

  2. Donnnn's right. I don't have kids but even I know he needs to be accountable. Leave the mess and make him clean it up, under your watchful and disapproving eye, when he gets home at 2:00 a.m.

    Yes, confiscate the key - no trespassing until he proves (repeatedly) that he can follow the rules.

    He may be all hormones and no brain cells, but he is NOT stupid. He is fully aware you let him get away with this most of the time, so he takes advantage of that.

    OY! MAN! - put your foot down and keep it there!

    I have no idea how you put up with that sh*t!

    Nice gams, by the way.

  3. Actually that looks a lot like our kitchen most of the time... we clean up as and when it's REALLY needed ;) But Donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn is right. Tough love!! Stand there and watch while he does it all. If you can't train him now, no woman will ever take him off your hands. :)

  4. Yeah -- but at least he can cook for himself. He's way ahead of my boys on that account who only seem capable of nuking burritos.

  5. Hey, y'all...

    I was trying to put a more humourous spin on this than I apparently did.

    Of course I'm frustrated by it. But he's 16 and, like me at that age, cleaning up is not Priority No. 1.

    He'll learn. There has been and will be more tough love. He knows, but he also knows me.

    The message and the punishment are meted out, but this will happen again. When he figures out it needs to change, it will.

    Like Andrea said, at least he cooks for himself now. Believe me, I do chuckle under my breath when I see these disasters.

    Because I've made plenty of 'em myself.

  6. Anonymous1:47 p.m.

    Has he maybe always been told to bring his dirty dishes to the kitchen (for mom to do later)? He may just be following instructions...reminds me of when I first moved out on my own - first discovery I made was that toilet paper does not magically appear in the bathroom cabinet - someone apparently has to buy it & put it there - the 1st time I ran out, it actually caught me off guard - where was the toilet paper & who was responsible for the stock-out?? That's when I realized *I* was now the one who had to regularly go out & buy it to make it be there...just tell him there are different rules at your house - mom doesn't live there, so everyone has to wash their own...

    AB Girl

  7. LOL....... why oh why do they do that... I went on strike the other week, when I came home on Saturday to find the kitchen side full of dishes, where my Sam and his maties had sorted out munchines, and instead of anyone emptying the dishwasher and placing the dirty dishes in it..... so on strike I went lol... I refused to touch any dishes.. :) I came in the following afternoon to find my Sam LMFAO eating a cereal out of a HUGE mixing bowl with a wooden spoon LMFAO..... I said, what the bloody hell and just blank stared at him, to which he replied.... well, all the dishes are dirty, this is all I could find LMFAO......

    Have you ever heard a fishwife swear LOL....... that was me that night :)

    I hasten to add, that was the last time that dirty dishes where left on the side LOL


    ps....... nice hairy legs you have there Mmmmm mmmmmmmmmm LOL

  8. AB Girl:

    I don't know what his mom tells him. I think he figures he's got it easy over here, and he probably does, but he also figures I get him.

    And I do.

    He knows I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt because he's just a goofy teenage guy, and I won't stay mad at him for long.

    But he'll get it. A few swift more swift kicks (not literally) will do it.


    Glad you're no longer on strike, but you COULD always just remove all the dishes from the kitchen.

    I don't even know what a fishwife is, let alone one that swore. Fishwife? FISHWIFE?

    Hairy legs: Ha! Maybe there's a procedure where they could take the hair from my legs and transplant it on my head?

  9. You said you give him warning after warning after warning, but do you ever follow through with the warning? What happened to "three strikes, you're out"?

    I know leaving a mess isn't a serious offense - at least not by your standards. I still think he's more than old enough to clean up his own mess and certainly should be respectful enough to pay attention to your warnings.

    So I totally agree with Donnnnn. My suggestion is to stop trying to be his buddy so much and be more of a parent - i.e. provide guidance and discipline.

    By the way, I'm not criticizing the way you parent. You clearly have a wonderful relationship with both kids and I can only imagine how hard it is to be the tough guy when you don't have them with you full-time. It would just concern me a little if my kid totally ignored my warnings. So start following through with your warnings and stop being his enabler. Just a friendly suggestion. :)

  10. Boy, you sure got schooled by your commenters, didn't you? :) BTW I'm heartbroken that I didn't make your profile page list. I'd jump through hoops but I'd probabaly just fall on my ass. I'm off now to lick the scar tissue. (*sniff*)


  11. Anna:

    Your last paragraph is kinda my response, girl. It's true that when they come over here, I don't want it to feel like their regular home and I DO spoil them and let them get away with stuff.

    And I particularly give my son a lot of slack.

    Like I said, the punishment has been meted out. The ultimatum has been issued.


    YEAH! Geez, this is a tough crowd!

    And you DID make that list, you're the eighth from the top, but I'm going to personalize it a little bit.

    You're there, you've always been there, you could never NOT be there.

  12. Oh sweetie....if his leaving the dirty dishes is the worst thing he does, count your blessings!!

    And then give him a swift kick and point him in the direction of the dishwashing soap.

  13. So how did it go?
    I wanna know all of it.

    What use is being on your blogroll if you don't bother to visit the lowly us? Or is it just me?

  14. Pamela:

    Nice to see you here again, girl.

    That's kinda the way I feel -- he's a good kid with a heart and a soul that are big and beautiful.

    But he f*cks up. And this, aside from not studying and barely passing in school, are how.

    To me, this is the little sh*t, but that doesn't mean I can't blog about it.

    I admit, I AM too easy on him. But as Three Dog Night sang, in a different context, it's Easy to Be Hard. Sometimes.

    He needs patience and understanding as much as he needs a kick in the gonads and a hard tug on the ear.

    I'm trying to give him all those things at once. He gets it.


    We'll see how it goes. It's not like I haven't told him all this stuff a lot.

    I don't want to put the handcuffs on him as Donnnnnn and others said -- although their well-meaning advice is correct, in some ways -- but I've tried to balance it out with positivity too.

    I've taken his key to my place away before (as Donnnnnn suggested) and that is the threat, among others, again.

    He'll learn, I know he will.

    As far as the blogroll, well, let me be honest with you, because this is a sore spot, a sensitive area, with me.

    The reason you and the others who are there are on there is because those people are people I've connected with -- not necessarily right now, but who I have shared a connection with.

    I've written before on my blog about how I go back and forth with this, admitting that I haven't visited others' blogs for long periods of time.

    And that's the way it is. Some of the people I've got on that blogroll haven't posted for months.

    Some haven't visited me for months. And some I haven't visited for months. And that's just the way it is, like I said.

    It's a matter of time, it's a matter of priorities, it's a matter of whatever it's a matter of.

    If there's a condition to our connection that I visit your blog more than I do, I'm sorry.

    I understand you might think it unfair, if you do. I don't think it's all about me, but I guess I do what I do.

    I hope you continue to visit me, and I'll visit you when I visit you, I guess.

    If that doesn't work, I'll understand.


  15. By the way, I'm not so sure if I'll be continuing with the blog you have listed. I've finally started posting on the new blog (found under the same profile) and I may end up just focusing on that for awhile. Thought you'd want to know. :)

  16. Anna, Lovely Girl:

    Are you kidding? I WONDERED when you might switch over, so to speak. I'll switch the url...

    ...And wish I was there to see those two pop out and to wipe your brow or something while it was happening.


  17. Glad I missed this one.

    Someone needs a shave.

  18. MJ:

    I don't need a shave...

  19. You don't need a shave you need to call your Parole Officer, he's phoned twice today.

  20. Donnnnn (oops forgot an n):

    Well I hope you told the parole officer -- unless it's a very attractive female -- that I zoomed away in my spaceship for the Orion Nebula, never to return.

  21. Well, my place is like that sometimes...when I get lazy...but you're doing the right thing. You know your kid best. Your kid; your house; your rules.

  22. Eroswings:

    Thanks man. I figure it'll all turn out just peachy keen if I do it my way, which is the HIGHWAY!!


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