The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

March 31, 2008

Spring Snippets from Spaceship Orion



I'M DROWNIN' IN THE DREGS OF A DASTARDLY DIATRIBE OF DELIRIUM!!!

OK, I know that made no sense. But it sure is a shining example of alliteration gone wrong.

I got nothin'.

It's April 1, and I can't even come up with a good April Fool's Day Joke to play on you.

I'm too caught up in spring arriving chronologically, but not physically. There's still far too much snow on the ground, too much of a nip in the air. But that's what I get for living in Manitoba.


Yes, Manitoba.

I'm pining for the long shadows cast by a warm summer sun, concrete that's too hot to walk upon, the smell of love in the air and all of nature's flighty desires that go with it...

Instead, the message is take a spot at the end of the line and wait like all the rest of us, buddy!

Oh sure, the Canada Geese are starting to migrate back to poop all over our car windows. That is a sure sign of spring.
Oh sure, I saw a ladybug walking on the sidewalk at work last week. Must have died overnight during freeze-up.
Oh sure, my son has taken to wearing a hoodie outside instead of a jacket. But he's just a goofy teenager who knows nothing about anything. His brain, I think, has been cryonically frozen by all those hormones and pheremones.

Other occurrences that I'm blaming on the failure of spring to truly arrive:
1. My "Check engine" light has come on, a sure sign I'll have to spend more money fixing my car
2. My camera battery decided to go dead
3. Canada's (and Winnipeg's) team won the world women's hurling (the first letter of that word begins with a 'c', remember) championship over China
4. My daughter did NOT make her bed before she left this weekend (which she always does) and my son DID make his bed (which he never does)
5. I'm hardly visiting any other blogs at all and I haven't done a male brain vs. female brain post in some time
I'm not quite sure WHAT I will do if and when spring actually does arrive. Maybe all these things will change. Maybe they won't.
Until then, I decided to "push the envelope" and actually click on the stupid ad below, which appears on every frickin' single internet site that I ever visit. Have you?
And it actually WORKS! I never completed all the 1,328 steps required, but I did find, supposedly, that 464 graduates of my high school were actually registered with this website!
Then I stopped. Who wants to actually ever find their graduating class?

21 comments:

  1. Look at you..livin' on the edge!
    This Winter SUCKED and I am moving to Tuvalu..
    hey then I could say Toodaloo From Tuvalu! Awesome.

    My Word!
    I see that you finally worked up the courage to post the picture of the retarded dog humping the world's slowest chicken.
    What next?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just a moment ago it was blizzarding (so not a word, I know I know) here in beautiful eastern Montana. Now the clouds have parted and the sun is shining in my window. This is Montana...if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes.

    I hope spring finds you soon.

    Thing sprink!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Donn... that is a duck.... not a chicken... and I would have thought you, of all people, would know that...

    Yeah, it is spring, and I only know this because my dog and my cat and my horse are all shedding copious quantities of hair all at the same time. I think I need to hack up a hairball....

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...oh... and, WW? It is March 31st today.... not April 1st. Me thinks you are ahead of yourself a tad... unless you played an April Fool's joke on yourself and moved the calendar ahead a day....

    ReplyDelete
  5. donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn:

    How am I livin' on the edge?

    I'll help you move to Tuvalu, then I won't have to listen to your incessant whining...

    I can't believe you used that odiforous "My Word" saying on my blog!!!

    Besides, I've posted that retarded dog pic before. And as Ponygirl points out, it's not a chicken!!!

    Laurie:

    You Montanans deserve every storm you get, let's face it! I will thing Sprink!

    Ponygirl:

    Well, Donn is a chicken little himself, that's where that comes from, I'm sure...

    I can hear you coughing up that hairball now...

    March 31...April 1... close enough...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Whatever!
    It's a chicken that forgot to DUCK!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I didn't read a word of this post, I must admit.

    It must be the ramen noodles and the late night sips on something other than water.

    But its all good.

    LOVES YA!

    ReplyDelete
  8. "I'm pining for the long shadows cast by a warm summer sun"...

    Don't bother coming to Vancouver then.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

    ReplyDelete
  10. adam f*cking brown is a spybot who just read and copied all of your e-mail lists and google searches for the last 6 months. It then compiled a consumer report on your online purchases, activities, and frequent destinations and then sold the information to 250 corporations.
    You've just been 'backdoored'.

    Oh yeah it was a duck in that picture..silly me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Donnnnnnnnn:

    Good retort, you arse...

    Awa:

    Oh good, is that kinda like buying the Playboy for the stories and not the pictures?

    You didn't read the post? Boo-hoo. Does that suggest that nobody actually does?

    Hope all's well...

    MJ:

    Yeah, don't you 'couverites ever get tired of all that rain?

    Adam Frickin' Brown:

    Well thanks for that bit of totally pertinent information!

    Now you'll force me to go back to that silly password system to get rid of the likes of you...

    Donnnnnnnnnn:

    Do you mean Adam just backdoored me the way the dog backdoored the chicken...er, I mean duck?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh I hope spring comes soon. Or, you can come visit. It is sooooooo hot right now in my part of the world. You'd probably love it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That poor little duck!

    We're struggling with the long winter too. There's still way too much snow out there and it's still too cold to wear anything lighter than my winter coat. Remind me of this when it's hot and humid in July/August and I'm complaining.

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  14. Anonymous4:32 PM

    May spring come soon, here is some spring thinking.

    Spring has sprung,
    The grass is rizz,
    I wonder where the birdies iz?

    They say the bird is on the wing,
    Ain't that absurd? I thought the wing was on the bird.

    Cheers,
    Andrew

    ReplyDelete
  15. Menchie:

    I'd love to visit Manila and the Phillippines. The problem is, I whine just as much (as do most Canadians) when it gets too hot and muggy here in the summertime.

    :-)

    I'd say most Canadians like it between 25-28 C and sunny. It makes the -45's in the winter almost bearable.

    Anna:

    See my comment to Menchie above. I think most of us feel the same way.

    As far as the duck, if I'm not mistaken, it was the blogger formerly known as HE who sent me that pic in the first place.

    Andrew:

    Thanks! I've heard the first part of that dittie, but not the last.

    Either way, it got up to 10C here yesterday and was mahvellous. Today, though, the expected high is 1. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I dig the new profile pic...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Annie:

    Well thanks, girl, but I've actually changed it yet again, as I try on new images...

    That one you're talking about, I was leaning down towards my sleeping oldest sister, about to wake her up, or at least to tease her...

    ReplyDelete
  18. How can she be your 'oldest' sister when she is younger than you? I thought you were the oldest kid in your family. That would make her the olest of your younger sisters, wouldn't it? Does travelling through space alter time enough that you don't age at the same speed as the rest of us??? So where you were once the eldest... are you now the youngest?

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  19. Ponygirl:

    Well, it's semantics, seems to me. She is the oldest of my sisters, or THE sisters. Just like I'm the oldest brother.

    Saying she's the oldest of my younger sisters would be, I think, stating the obvious...but for someone who didn't know I was the oldest child in my family, I guess it wouldn't be obvious.

    Travelling through space and time does keep me young, yes. I'm actually only eight hours, 22 minutes old chronologically (and some would argue developmentally in an emotional way).

    :-)

    ReplyDelete

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