The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

August 1, 2007

Hair. Long Beautiful Hair.

YOU'D HARDLY KNOW IT NOW, BUT I USED TO HAVE "LONG, BEAUTIFUL HAIR."










It's a goofy picture of me in my contact lens days back in medieval times, but this was me in my mid-20s, with long hair just like in the Broadway play, Hair!


For those of you young miscreants who weren't around in the 60s or 70s or whatever it was when Hair was all the rage, here are some of the lyrics to the song of the same name:


Gimme a head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me it down to there (Hair!)
Shoulder length or longer! (Hair!)
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy...

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair


The accompanying YouTube vid has some hippy types mouthing the words to the original Cowsills song. Play it.

OK, so now at 51 and counting, this is my hair situation, recently brought home to me, in sensitive, revealing, simplicity, by my youngest brother Gerry and his camera...



As is obvious from the pic, I have in the past couple of years developed -- horrors to me -- that ugly thing called "male pattern baldness."

Not only am I losing the hair on the top of my head, as you can see, I'm also losing the hair at the front of my head. Any men who might be reading this may possibly understand.

Women, maybe not so much!

The point is, it's traumatizing!

As my muscle tone starts to fade due to age and my testosterone levels decrease, things are happening that are to say the very least, disturbing.

And my best buddy Homo Escapeons and I were joking about this recently.

While the hair on my head is falling out, I am sprouting hairs on my chest, in my ears, in my nose and on my eyebrows, apparently to make up the difference. Are they migrating there?

Or it's nature's way of laughing at me, in some cruel way. And what's THAT all about? Anyway, this all recently came more to the fore when I decided I needed to get my hair cut.

I avoided and avoided...why would I want to take away yet MORE of the precious stuff I'm losing, and make my problem more obvious?


But I took the plunge. And as you can see from the pix below, I'm not exactly enthused.


The hair stylist said despite my requests, she could not take all my sheared hair on the floor and reattach it permanently to my scalp.


I think I'll try Magic Cuts next time and see if they can wave their wands and, POOF!, all my hair will come back.



16 comments:

  1. All that nose and ear hair could be trimmed and implanted onto your head.

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  2. Brave post! So many men would not have the cojones to show their lost follicle spots to the world.

    My significant other has your exact issue with the hair thing. What we've discovered works the best is for him to get shorn fairly short on top (shorter than what you've got in the last few pics), and then layered on the sides and back. He looks totally faboo. I'm sure you would too. :)

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  3. Why don’t you just get yourself some spray-on hair?

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  4. Its david hassellhoff on a windy day:)

    This may help you out...
    -its not a bald patch its a solar panel for a sex machine.

    My one hair claim to fame was a being voted the 2nd hairiest arse at Gunnamatta Surf Life Saving CLub, but in '97. Better a bit less than a bit more sometimes.

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  5. MJ:

    HA HA HA! Yeah, I could save up all that nose and ear hair and have it implanted...

    But I like your second idea (third comment) better! (Check out that site, y'all). ONLY $13.95 PER CAN!

    I'm on it!

    Tidalgrrrl aka Shelley:

    Thanks! At least the hair around the cojones isn't going anywhere! (In the TMI department).

    I'm glad that method has worked for your S.O. I dunno if I'm ready to go there yet, but I do want to look "faboo."

    Aidan:

    You win the comment of the day!

    And yes, I want it to be a solar panel for a sex machine! (Not for guinea pigs, you smart asses out there)

    And I don't want to be David Hasselhoff either. I do not hold your distinction, however, for second hairiest ass.

    Great ending..."better a bit less than a bit more sometimes." Cheers, mate.

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  6. Hey, i think the new haircut looks good.

    The hubby's a bit worried about thinning hair on top. He's also got more white hairs. Which i think looks cute.

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  7. Hey if I'd known there was a "comment of the day" contest, I would have tried harder.

    Damn that Aidan and his quips.

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  8. I LOVE Aidan's comment of the day! That's classic and I think I'm going to use it (hope you don't mind, Aidan).

    Anyway, back to your post...

    First of all, I am fascinated and totally unfamiliar with whatever happens to men when their testosterone levels start to decrease. I found myself kind of hoping to learn more. I guess I'll have to google it.

    Secondly, you look fabulous (as you always do, in my humble opinion).

    And thirdly, you MUST come to Montreal and have your hair cut by my coiffeuse, Rrrrraquel. You will LOVE her! Of course, I'll probably have to accompany you for translation because she only speaks french and spanish, but she is SO worth the effort! I recently convinced J to allow her to cut his hair (he's going a little thin on top too) and I SWEAR she made him look like his hair was thicker!

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  9. Oh, and by the way... What's bothering me most about those pics is not that your hair is short or thinning or whatever, but that you pointed the camera the wrong way, resulting in an unnatural shadow ABOVE your head. It only makes your hair look poofy-er. Always be sure to have the flash positioned ABOVE the lens and not vice versa.

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  10. It's time -time to get to the barber and get a number 1 or 2 all over - makes the non-hair bits blend in -and it makes it look as though YOU are in control of your your hair instead of the other way around. As they clip it you can think "Take THAT, bastard hair,two can play at this game".Hey, give it a go -it will grow back if you don't like it. I DARE YOU to get your hair clipped and post the after photo here.

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  11. it doesn't look that bad - nothing a paper bag wouldn't cover anyway.

    :o)

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  12. Menchie:

    Thanks! But those pix were taken the same day it was cut, so my hair looks goofy and poofy.

    It's better now, but still thinning! Us poor guys, wah wah, why does it happen to us?

    I've got more grey hairs sprouting every day. Sigh...

    MJ:

    There was no official declaration of a comment of the day contest, so no need to worry.

    You are the Queen of the Quip, girl, so I wouldn't be feeling too distraught...

    Anna:

    HEY! Anything on this blog is copyright! I'm paying Aidan royalties for it...

    Yes, you'll have to google what happens to men when their testosterone levels decrease.

    It's too depressing for me to go into here, but suffice to say it's all silly physical appearance stuff, not libido stuff :-)

    You have a coffeuse? (Runs to get dictionary to find out exactly what that means).

    And she has five "R's" in Racquel? I doubt it...that's just how you pronounce it right, with the rolling R's?

    Hey, I want my hair to be (or appear to be) thicker...but flying to Montreal to do it? (Checks bank balance and cries).

    Thanks for the compliment, but I don't get the thing about the camera angle.

    Remember I'm taking these goofy shots myself with a Sony SureShot, which is so small and thin I always drop it.

    Sometimes I'm amazed I can take any pix at all with it, but it's a trusty lil thing...and the flash is a built-in, so I can't move it up, down, sideways...

    Lee:

    A No. 1 or a No. 2 all over? I'm assuming you're talking about a brush cut or a buzz cut.

    I haven't had one of those since I was 5. I can live with what I've got (or don't have!)

    So unfortunately, I will NOT be taking you up on this dare, Aussie Girl...

    Ziggi:

    ZING! Got me! I'll keep that practical, cheap solution in mind, my dear :-)

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  13. oh my... i am so glad i don't have to worry about that... and it seems damien doesn't either if i remember his father, his father's father- and my own parents and grandparents...
    why don't you go the whole hog and take it all off? seems the thing to do these days...

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  14. oh, and i LOVE that movie!!!

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  15. Angel:

    It's too bad you missed the song I had posted with the piece, girl, but you can find it on YouTube...

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  16. Angel:

    Oops! I responded to your last comment first. I would NEVER shave my head bald, at least not now.

    I have a definite thing with my hair, my long, beautiful hair. I'm hangin' on to it as long as I can...

    Well, until or if it starts lookin' REALLY silly...

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