The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

July 28, 2007

THE "APPARENTLY I HAVE NO SHAME SERIES" (Part 1)

I THINK I'VE BEEN POSTING LATELY ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE FAR TOO SERIOUS AND INCONSEQUENTIAL.

Such as drunk astronauts, people who do or don't want their pictures or stories on my blog, hoodoos and voodooos, politics, George W. Bush, Iraq, the silliness of religion and things like that there.

So in a lighter moment, and because Homo Escapeons actually had a shower that at my place recently so as to totally embarrass me, I thought I'd expose myself as the single, idiotic male that I am.

Ladies, you can turn your heads away now. Please don't hold this against me.

I know I've told you in the past about (and shown you) my fridge, my stove, my shoe closet and other extremely personal things, things that I have cleaned right before your very eyes. And I know how impressed you have been.

But the bathroom, the loo, the WC, whatever you call it in your part of the world, well, that's different. And I am not about to show you my toilet, which would truly be criminal and whose lid is, admittedly, up all the time.

What I am going to expose to you is my bathtub. And this disclaimer: it's white, it's an apartment tub and I have never had such a dirty bathtub, ever.

But having said that, and I'm sure my daughter is prancing around in glee even though she's never complained about it and my son appears not to care in the least, here are some before and after shots:









I seriously do believe that this tub is impossible to get clean. However, I also admit that I do not make much of an effort to clean it. It's only my feet that ever touch it. Doesn't that make at least SOME sense?
I still have to scrape out all that grunge along the side of the tub and put new caulking in, and I promise to do that. I still have to apply more Comet, Mr. Clean and elbow grease to try to remove the black from the white.
If there are any suggestions, I'd welcome them. In the meantime, I have a semi-white tub that is much better than it was before. Please do not ridicule me. Man was not made to scrub white porcelain. He was made for much more fun things.

24 comments:

  1. Aidan has recently taken charge of the Cleansing of Our House. Our kitchen, living room, and library all look about six hundred times better. However the bedroom and bathroom have not yet been touched. It's a rather daunting concept, I think... and more than a little bit scary!

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  2. I don't want to offend, but that tub is scary. I don't think I could ever step foot in it while it looked like those before pictures. I'd kinda struggle with the after photos too, but maybe wearing a pair of flip-flops would convince me to get in there.

    Elbow grease and comet is the only thing that really seems to work. Get in there and get that thing sparkling!

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  3. Here we go.
    Whatever it is deep down in your subconscience that provokes this kind of tubthumping can only be diagnosed as a thinly disguised cry for help.

    For germaphobes such as myself it is remarkable how our bodies miraculously fight off bacterial and viral assaults every second of every day.

    I realise that we lug around 5 pounds of bacteria in our bodies. If you are brave enough to read this http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/your-body-is-a-planet
    You'll see that we can't function without them but it is a constant battle with many strains which seek to kill us if given the opportunity.

    I am glad that you have taken on this Herculean task and remind you that it has to be done every week.

    We now join the Tubthumping segue in progress..

    "Tub gets scrubbed down
    But it gets black again
    You're never going to
    Keep it clean

    Scrubbing the night away
    Scrubbing the night away

    He drinks a whiskey drink
    He scrubs with Mr Clean
    He scrubs with elbow grease
    Try more Comet please!

    He scrubs the tub to remind him of the good times
    He scrubs the tub that remind him
    of the better times"

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  4. have you considered employing a servant?

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  5. "Caulking."

    *giggles*

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  6. Gosh and gee, WW, yours is always the feel good blog of the week :). Not only that, it's compounded by HE's treasure trove of useless trivia. 5 lbs of bacteria! Who knew? That said, there is this black slime exiting the tiles and creeping along the wall where the tiles didn't adhere to the wall properly. You're an expert on these things apparently. What is it?

    I feel the sudden need to have a long, hot shower in a freshly-scrubbed and disinfected tub...

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  7. Stace:

    How courageous of you to say Aidan's cleaning has left your house 600 times cleaner.

    But the bedroom and bathroom...how could he ignore them? Those are THE two most important rooms of the house (if a woman is present).

    FYI, I am actually usually a very clean person.

    But, to be honest, without a woman around at the moment, and being here almost entirely by myself, it just doesn't seem to get done.

    When I had my own house, as opposed to an apartment, I cleaned regularly and the place was spotless.

    But with a grimy apartment tub, which I haul my butt into and barely look at (and it's so dark in there with no windows), I seem to have developed an apathy...

    Anna:

    I agree, it IS scary, girl. See above. I really AM ashamed. Cmon, though, the after photos aren't THAT bad.

    And if a woman was around, I wouldn't let it get like that, you can bet the bottom of your feet...:-)

    I'll get in there, I will...I promise...

    Homo Extremely OCD:

    It wasn't so bad, apparently, that you couldn't have a shower in it.

    Like I've said above, there is a natural inclination towards cleanliness with women present.

    You really ARE a germaphobe. When I was a kid, I mean a small kid, I ate dirt. It helps you develop antibodies. Remember that.

    Ziggi:

    Yeah, but only if she was...I better not go there. As a 21st century single male, I have to do it myself. :-)

    MJ:

    Ha@! Figures.

    Andrea:

    And from your standpoint, what's NOT to feel good about this post?

    Your bathroom can't POSSIBLY be as unkempt as mine, so doesn't that make you feel good?

    You're right about HE's useless trivia. I think he makes up that crap...

    Are you talking about your black slime or my black slime? It's all moisture, Baby.

    I kinda want to have a long, hot shower now too...

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  8. These all look like before shots to me ;) :).From now on get yourself a bottle of cheap kiddy bubble bath for when you're having a tub -it stops the build up in the tub-keeps it clean.Have you got one of those Scotchbrite-type green scourers? That would do the trick. If you want to go green, sprinkle a heap of bi-carb soda around in the tub and around the edges and put some cheap white vinegar in a spray bottle and spray heaps of it about -you'll get a good bubbling reaction between the bi-carb and the vinegar and if you give it a good scrub with the scourer it will come up really well. Once you have the tub clean, you might even find that just spraying vinegar alone will be enough to do the trick -and because it isn't dangerous - like all the chemical crap -you can clean it out while you're in it.Vinegar sprayed right around the edges is a good mold killer.I've been using nothing but vinegar for ages now -trying to reduce the chemical load on my body -and it really does work. Also in the loo and handbasin as well.No, my middle name isn't Martha.

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  9. This is a little off topic, but I just wanted to mention that when you call me "girl", well it kinda does something to me. It almost makes me want to volunteer to be your "servant" (since ziggi suggested it). ;)

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  10. Wow, this is brave of you to post tub pictures.

    I don't have a tub at home but I have before and after pictures of my bathroom that puts yours to shame. Though my bathroom mess is more like there was an explosion of shoes, clothes, toys and piles of magazines and paper rather than tub grunge.

    But hey, I've taken a shower in a bathroom where i could swear the mildew on the shower curtain was looking at me.

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  11. Lee:

    Ooooh, THAT HURT, you saying they're ALL before pictures! I got a LOT of that crapola off!

    First, I rarely have baths. I always shower. So it's kinda outta sight, outta mind, but that's still no excuse.

    I just have my rubber ducky and other things that float :-) And none of them are for cleaning.

    While I don't relish the thought of bathing in vinegar, Martha (*Runs away*), I'll try your suggestions.

    And thank you for them (really, I mean that :-))

    Anna:

    Uh...uh...uh...yikes! :-)

    Menchie:

    It's either brave or stupid, one of the two :-), or there may be other adjectives.

    Thank you for stepping up and alerting the few people who read this blog that I'm not alone in the grungies.

    Me and my mildew are related by marriage by now...

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  12. u r a good cleaner then WW! :)

    Keshi.

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  13. When you do get around to it, (and you would better) do post a picture agfter the cleaning.

    You can always clean it with sulphuric acid!

    (running away*

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  14. Keshi:

    Apparently, others think you're being far too kind, Keshi girl. But thanks!

    Gautami:

    Yeah, sulphuric acid would just melt the whole tub and they'd have to install a new one that I COULD get clean!

    We're getting kind of pushy, aren't we? You'd better run faster than that...I'll grab your hair.

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  15. Hey numbnutz,
    I need my HAZardous MATerials suit back by the weekend so that I can go out of doors and mow the lawn!

    You need to watch more TV
    I am certain that the writers on any of the 15 CSI shows explain which chemicals compounds all of those serial killers use to destroy any forensic evidence from dismembering their victims in the tub.

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  16. HE:

    You can have the HazMat suit back so the little buggies won't get you.

    I need to watch less TV, not more -- we all do. And I CERTAINLY don't watch those intensely boring CSI things that are all the same.

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  17. This blog has hit a new low in filth.

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  18. MJ:

    Ha Ha Ha! Indeed, filth of another kind, huh? I'm goin' back at it again right now with the Comet...

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  19. Two Words: Scrubbing Bubbles.

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  20. Shelley:

    Ha! I googled Scrubbing Bubbles and found the website. COOL! I'll have a look around for it and check it out!

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  21. hysterical dude- absolutely hysterical!

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  22. Angel:

    Well, stay tuned for more hysterics, or something resembling zaniness or insanity...

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  23. "Man was not made to scrub white porcelain..." gasp ... and neither was woman ... but I trust you were being non-gender specific there. ;-) Pay a housekeeper, that's what I do.

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  24. Bibi:

    No, I meant MAN was not made to scrub white porcelain! (OK, just kidding...I think)

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