The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

April 29, 2007

Hormone Hair Hell (how my teenaged son lost his tiny mind over a girl)

SON SLEEPS IN.

Son starts homework later than promised on Sunday, watches TV, talks about how he might do something later, watches TV, plays computer games, watches TV.

GIRLFRIEND CALLS AT 1:30 P.M.
He can go over at 2:30 p.m. and spend some hours with her after not seeing her all weekend. He's walking on air, instructing dad how teenagers work the women nowadays, details his plans for amour.

In a manner of speaking, of course.
Then plans start to go awry.
1:35 p.m.: Son realizes his favourite shirt he's been wearing all weekend stinks. Asks if it can be washed and will it be dry for planned departure time by bike at 2:30 p.m. Dad says he'll try.
1:40 p.m.: Son hops into shower.
1:50 p.m.: Son leaves towels all over the place, as previously instructed not to. Gets hell from dad.
1:52 p.m.: Son asks if shirt is ready yet. Receives evil eye from dad that always means "That's a stupid question." Does not take news that shirt is still in washer very well. Dad snickers.
1:58 p.m.: Son dries hair somewhat with newly purchased hair dryer, which he (alert the media) actually likes.
1:59 p.m.: Son applies newly purchased mousse to new hairdo, tries to fix hair in steamed up mirror. Panic starts to REALLY set in. Hair is "too puffy," son says. Dad laughs.
2:02 p.m.: Son asks if shirt ready yet. Dad says he'll put it in dryer now but can't promise anything. Son harumphs.
2:03 p.m.: Son starts falling apart.
Now that he's a full-blown 15-year-old singer in a rock n' roll band of no repute and is on his third girlfriend, he's decided to drive his dad nuts (and himself crazy) with a new doo...
2:35 p.m.: Son is whining about his hair, has wet it several more times, has been lectured by dad that girlfriend won't even notice difference and his hair will be blown all over during bike ride anyway.
2:40 p.m.: Son has now cleaned up room, packed things for dad to take to his place later. Son quietly admits he forgot to use sister's hair straightener on particularly crucial lick of hair.
2:43 p.m.: Dad removes son's favourite shirt from dryer, hands it to him. He puts it on. His hair has been repaired. His shirt is dry. The sky has not fallen. He allows me to take pictures.
Isn't he just the happy camper now? And all for a girl...wonder how that happens...

32 comments:

  1. I think your son's hair looks great. He doesn't look too thrilled about having his photo taken, though, or is that his "I'm too cool for my dad to take pictures of" look?

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  2. Ahhh, young boys... women make them do strange things! Not to worry, he'll look back at those grumpy photos and laugh someday. It might take a while, though, to get over a hairdo like that.

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  3. He looks totally adorable!! He probably would hate to hear he's adorable, so tell him he looks cool or hot or whatever it is he's aiming for.

    Tell him he needs to use products that are specifically designed to help straighten his hair. Mousse generally creates body (unless it's a de-pouffer), so that wouldn't help with the puffiness. Also, a little styling wax (or something similar) will help keep it straight and sleek after it's been styled, but he has to be careful to use VERY little or it'll end up making his hair look greasy. He should rub just the tiniest bit on the pads of his fingers until it looks like it pretty much disappeared and then run his fingers through his hair.

    I love these little stories about the time you spend with your kids.

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  4. Anonymous10:09 PM

    Do people have to wear bike helmets on the other side of the lake, and worry about hat hair? Or did your son just need to worry about wind damage?
    Nice Photos & nice hair.
    Andrew.

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  5. Damn those hornymones!

    Despite the fact that today his dour exterior disguises a churning volcano of testosterone deep within that would force him to chew off a limb at a moment's notice in order to see the greatest love of his life and the centre of his known universe...

    however someday, maybe even next week, the two of you will share a good laugh when you ask him whatever happened to whatsherface and he mumbles innunno?

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  6. Laurie:

    No, he wasn't a happy camper at that very moment...

    It was right about then that he realized his life was not ending as we know it, that he had on his fave shirt, that his hair was acceptable to a degree and that, basically, it all much ado about nothing.

    Personally, I hate his hair. But it's not about me...sometimes.

    Stace:

    I think it's not just young boys, girl...I mean, look at Aidan! (**Runs away laughing**)

    I'm sure he and I both will laugh at those photos someday. For now, though, it's just me...

    Anna:

    Yeah, well, if his GIRLFRIEND told him he looked adorable, I think he'd be OK with that.

    The rest of us? Not so much. I'll pass on your hair expertise to him, but I'm sure his head will explode.

    Andrew:

    People are SUPPOSED to wear helmets over here, but of course the cool factor isn't there, so he doesn't...

    It was all wind in his case, but then he thought I was nothing but a bunch of hot air anyway, so what's the diff?

    Homely O'Escapeons:

    Yeah, likely next week, although he's super serious about her, so maybe 10 days...

    I like that, "innunno..."

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  7. WW - Aidan is young! Although I can tell you, he's no "boy"! ;)

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  8. I'll bet that's nothing compared to what your daughter goes through when she's going out. :D

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  9. Puberty... yeah that was fun.... NOT..

    3rd girlfriend at 15, he is doing ok with the ladies, I think i had my first (girlfriend) at 16...

    Im married now, none of that sprucing up, once you have seen the other half at 6 am, just out of bed... not much point.

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  10. Stace girlie...

    Of course I know you're both young and that he's no "boy" and you're no "girl."

    You two are the Blogosphere's top celebrity couple, I figure, destined to star in the first Blog Reality Show...

    Menchie:

    Yeah, you're right, but she's been practising forever and has the whole process down pat.

    With goofy guys, it just hits them out of the blue and it's sensory overload.

    They have the will, but not the way.

    They don't have the means because at his age, we're all mental midgets (no jokes here about how the more things change, the more things stay the same!!)

    Aidan:

    I think I had my first girlfriend at age 36! No, just kidding. I think it was 26. No, I think it was about 16.

    Of course there is no point to all the sprucing up, but it's the call of the wild, and I have to help him by being the enabler...and by laughing as he does it...

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  11. Anonymous9:22 AM

    Joys and tribulations eh of teenage sons!!! My 13 year old son goes mad if he has a hair out of place etc-It drives me nuts! lol!

    Laura

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  12. Laura:

    Was that a Canadianism "Eh?"

    I don't even think my son knew he had hair at age 13. Now it's his whole life, you'd think...

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  13. 1 hour and 8 minutes - not bad at all! My 15 year old daughter takes at least 8 hours and it requires every single piece of clothing she owns, her sister owns, and when desperation sets in, I own, to be tried on, discarded and then re tried to the nth degree. I can't think where she gets it from.

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  14. Anonymous3:18 PM

    Hey dammit! I obviously need to mix with them less! Hee he!

    Laura

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  15. Ziggy:

    So you let her wear revealing witch outfits like that? I'd say you should be pretty happy that a 15-year-old can fit into your clothing...

    Yeah, who knows WHERE she would get that eight-hour thing from...guys are too practical (or stupid?) to take eight hours at anything...attention spans of gnats, you know...

    Laura:

    What? You need to mix with Canadians less, you mean? I don't think so...

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  16. I'm a celeblogger, get me out of here!!!

    I had my first boyfriend at 17. After I left school. He was four years older than me. That probably says something about the traumatic nature of my school years, which I won't go into.

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  17. Stace:

    Yes indeed, you're a celebrity, you can't been seen hangin' with us ordinary types...

    But do go into your high school years...National Enquiring minds want to know, doncha know...

    Dating older men, huh?

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  18. why does he look so blue? I like his hair.

    Keshi.

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  19. Keshi:

    He had just been through the traumatic experience of thinking his hair looked like hell and that he'd have to -- gasp -- wear another shirt other than the one I washed and dried for him.

    He lived, survived and prospered.

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  20. How did it happen with you when you were a teenager?

    This avatar suits you fine. It describes you perfectly.

    And let your son be..:D

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  21. Gautami:

    Is that a trick question? (Women are WAY too sly and observant).

    Of course, like I've posted here before, I was exactly like him, once I discovered girls.

    Nothing else mattered.

    I was, as the song says, "A Fool in Love." And that's what he is, or at least a young, learning form of it.

    And I wasn't on him about that. That needs to be respected, he needs to go through that.

    So, you're right...I let my son be, but not completely without my words and chuckles and old-fart reasoning.

    He needs that, he thinks, like a hole in the head. But he always sees some perspective after it...

    I figure it's time for another avatar change, meantime...

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  22. I too like the "do." He is a cutie, he will do well with the girls, then the women! It's like they are born and then next thing you know, they are putting "product" on their hair. BTW, Anna, I printed out all your advice with the mousse and wax!

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  23. CARM!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!

    I'll visit you soon, I figured you were so overjoyed that your son was back that blogging took a back seat...

    Which of course it must have.

    Lovely having you back, girl.

    Thanks for visiting.

    Yep, it seems like mere weeks or months ago I was trying to teach him how to walk.

    It's incredible. It really is.

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  24. I agree with Anna. mousse = pouffy. The hair dryer can make one's style pouffy, if not careful. And definately styling wax is a must. Unfortunately, my favorite wax has been discontinued (this is the second time that's happened!). So when my current tube runs out, I'm screwed.

    Anyway, CREW a good wax for men's hair.

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  25. Still waiting for "Spring Fashions for the Single Male!"

    Get round to it.

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  26. LOL good to hear that WW :)

    Keshi.

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  27. Great description of real life ! very recognizable. And that you are allowed to take and put his picture on the web !! wow.
    And I thought only daughters had this 'I need that one and no other piece of clothing' that usually just is in the laundry basket :-)
    You also get a + for doing the laundry accurate and fast ! I somehow -and yes, shame on me for that, I should have more trust in your householding capacities- expected a bit, while the story was unfolding, that a drama was about to happen : the T-shirt shrunk !! or something like that :-)

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  28. Ms. Val:

    Thanks. Mousse, wax, hair gel...it's all Latin to me. But I'll pass it on...

    MJ:

    Oh, right...I kind of let that one slip into the nether reaches of my tiny mind...must check my wardrobe...

    Keshi:

    Yeah, he made it. Another potentially life-shattering crisis averted...

    Hildegarde:

    What? You thought I wouldn't know how to do laundry? Lady, I am THE Lion of Laundry, the Titan of Tumble Dry!

    I can also fill up and empty the dishwasher, wash floors and even (yech) scrub toilets.

    Just don't ask me to sew or iron.

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  29. He looks so grown up now -he looks quite sweet. I reckon if I was 15 years old I'd have a crush on him.His hair doesn't look too bad at all,Dad! Quite good in fact.

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  30. Lee:

    I'm sure he'll love to hear about your turn-back-the-clock crush, but I still mutter under my breath about his do.

    Let's face it, dads are universally uncool. I accept this as fact and just try to keep my thoughts on such things to myself.

    :-)

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  31. mwaaaaaahahahahahaha...
    thank heavens i'm not the only one with teenage-boy + girlfriend = hell-at-home!
    this was a fantastic post w.w.!

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  32. Angel:

    Thanks girl. It's a wondrous, if wicked thing, ain't it?

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