The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

November 7, 2006

People Collection List (Canajun Verjun)

Ces, who was voting Tuesday for a New York Jew named Kinky, has I see tagged me to write "five things" about myself that are either profane or mundane.

Being a good boy who could never be profane or do anything considered profane, and being entirely mundane (I'm sure Homo Escapeons will readily back this up), I could only come up with this list:

1. By my rough calculations, I have five scars on my body totalling some 13 inches, nine inches of which are the result of three operations on my right knee, which was totally reconstructed at one point.

I blew out the knee while playing Frisbee football on a hill in Turkey. I have a bolt just below my kneecap holding it all together. The football players I cover laugh at me about having uglier knees than they do.

Other scars are on my right wrist from pushing my hand through a window while losing my temper with my mom as a kid, on my lower back when I had a disc removed (another sports injury) and on my left leg when I sunk a drill bit into it.

2. I have an actor uncle named Len Cariou. Google him. You'll probably recognize him. He's been in movies with Jack Nicholson and Alan Alda, has starred on Broadway with Lauren Bacall and Liz Taylor.

Back in the 80s I travelled to New York and spent a day with him and his then-flame, an actress no one knew until she burst onto the scene later that year with a guy named Robin Williams in a movie called The World According to Garp.

Her name is Glenn Close.

3. I have two brothers and three sisters. All three of us boys have a space between our front teeth. None of the three girls do. Go figure.

4. I told the entire planet, as a sports reporter with The Canadian Press wire service in Edmonton, Alberta, that superstar hockey player Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's career points scoring record the night he did it.

And my name is on that scoresheet because I picked the three stars that night, Gretzky No. 1, obviously.

5. I was 4-foot-11 in Grade 10 but grew six inches that summer, when I simultaneously discovered girls were as much fun as playing sports and collecting insects.

I only grew another four inches after that. :-(


  1. WW, thank you for doing this.

    As for your integumentary assessment, those scars are just rough estimates. You will have to don a paper gown that exposes your derriere, so I can do a full body assessment and verify the actual scars.

    Yes, I have seen your uncle on the screen! Wow.

    The gap must be male thing.

    These are fabulous things about you, but you already know you are fabulous, right?

  2. your uncle duly googled- i recognised his picture from "secret window"- he's been a helluva busy man eh?!
    as fpr scars- i'm too much of a chicken to have any!

  3. Ces:

    I'm going to have look up integumentary, be right back...

    adjective: of, pertaining to, or like an integument.
    Origin: 1835–45
    Noun: 1. A natural outer covering or coat, such as the skin of an animal or the membrane enclosing an organ.
    2. Botany. The envelope of an ovule.

    I'm assuming you're saying my assessment makes about as much sense as the envelope of ovule.

    You've already seen my derriere, or were you not around for that silly post?

    If you require a closer look in your capacity as the examining duty nurse, I only have paper bags, no gowns.

    This was fun. Before you start using such words as fab, however, I told a little lie: I can curse with the best of them.

    Must be the gap between my teeth, swear words just kinda escape from my mouth accidentally...


    After what you just went through, you MUST have scars. Or are they miracle workers in SAfrica?

    (with today's technology, I'm sure they're invisible...)

  4. 13 inches of scars isn't much. My husband has close to 3 feet, I'm sure. He had a series of very invasive abdominal surgeries earlier this year.

  5. Oh....and that was a fun read!

  6. Ms. Val:

    Yep, I read a bit about your hubby on your blog. I do hope he overcomes all that and regains his full health.

    Wasn't trying to say my varied surgeries/owwwies/stitchups are anything serious or debilitating, just a bit of useless trivia is all.


  7. forgot to mention the scar that encircles your head from your charisma bypass!

    I told ya everybody would love your Close call with Glenn. You should post that story...New York, Stars, c'mon.

    Blowing out your knee in Turkey is ironic.

    Thank goodness that you are finally out and I don't have to type within withereout every time.

    The Gretzky story is a 100% all Canadian folklore worthy tale that will be included in your Biography when you are the Minister of Sport and Recreation...and I am Prime Minister.

  8. Homo Erascible:

    I figured that scar was already visible and known...kinda like the one you have from your lobotomy.

    I agree you probably will somehow become prime minister, but I don't understand your third and fourth paragraphs.

    So was it a lobotomy or the world's first brain transplant?

  9. Wow, you read my archives!?!? I'm flattered that you took the time! I was still trying to learn how to use Blogger find my writing niche with those early posts.

    And I know you were just sharing useless information.

  10. Gap-toothed is good. I've been meaning to blog about it. One of these days.

  11. If that's your version of mundane then I may just have to go and kill myself.

  12. Good old wikipedia...Len Cariou (born September 30, 1939 in Saint Boniface, Manitoba) is a Canadian actor. He grew up and attended schools in East Kildonan, including Miles MacDonell Collegiate for grades 10 and 11.

    Cariou is best known for originating the role of Sweeney Todd in the original 1979 production of the Stephen Sondheim musical: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street for which he won the Tony Award for Best Actor in a Musical.

    He has also had appearances onstage in the musicals Applause (1970), A Little Night Music (1973), and recently, in the Tony Award-winning play Proof with Anne Heche, Mary-Louise Parker, and Jennifer Jason Leigh. On film, Cariou can be seen in About Schmidt (2002), Thirteen Days (2000), Lady In White (1988), The Four Seasons (1981), and also in television appearances such as The West Wing, Law & Order, The Practice and Murder, She Wrote.

    In 2004, he was elected to the American Theatre Hall of Fame.

    But what they didn't mention was whether he has a gap between his teeth or not ;).

  13. heyyyyy WW hows u? Im bakk :)


  14. Thank you for the fun read.

    How cool is that about your uncle?! You must have thought he was the coolest uncle in the world when you were a kid. And that thing about Gretsky's record-breaking moment -- also very cool.

    That space between your front teeth is incredibly sexy. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

    Why have I imagined you to be taller? I'll have to modify my fantasies slightly. ;)

  15. "charisma bypass"... LMAO! That one cracked me up. I wonder if HE would mind if I use it.

  16. ww, this is fantastic. it's my favorite people list so far. great writing. holds my interest. to the point. riveting. i am further solidifying my sense of you as cool....


  17. ww, ces sounds alittle provocative....don'tyathink?


  18. Ms. Val:

    I can't really say as I read your archives, but maybe an earlier post where you talked about Quinton and the condition...

    And then I saw the Halloween pic of him and the cane, don't know if that was part of the costume or not.

    Hey! Who said my info was useless! Oh yeah, I did...


    I still don't get the gap-toothed thing, I really don't. It's imperfection!

    On the other hand, it's an imperfection I've had the opportunity to correct...and didn't.


    C'mon, your life can't possibly be as mundane as mine...a thriving family, your painting career, a renowned architect in your bloodlines...

    And as Kim Mitchell would sing, "I am a wild party" is all. (OK, I'm not really).


    Guess I coulda done that as a service to readers, huh? Applause, with Lauren Bacall, is the thing that really launched his career.

    Best thing I ever saw him in though was a one-man play called Equus...

    The gap-tooth thing comes from my mom, and Len's my dad's brother, so no space.

    In a strange quirk, however, my daughter got the space between her teeth and my son didn't. Ha!

    Had it fixed, though, with braces...


    Wow, welcome back. That was a long of those week-long weddings?


    Actually, not to diss him, but Len's a bit full of himself, as I'm sure most actors/entertainers are. Didn't see him much as a kid and really get to know him.

    The uncles I liked were the ones I could get to know just as plain old uncles...Again, no offence to Len.

    He's an amazing singer, too.

    And what is it with this tooth thing!? What could be sexy about it? Zing! (er, that's not a complaint, just rampant confusion).

    Fantasies? Gulp! Let me add those totals up again, I thought they brought me to 6 ft., only 5-9, 170. Drat.

    Oh, and charisma bypass from HE? Yes, he's used that on me for years, says it to me at least once a week...and every time he comes over and walks in, he says, "Put your pants on."

    As you might have seen from my earlier retort about his lobotomy, I can never match his biting wit.

    But I try...


    Why, thanks.

    It's that journalism training in the 5 W's: What the fuck, Where the hell, Why in God's name, Who on the planet cares and When is this going to end.

    Just kidding. I'm suitably embarrassed...

  19. KJ:

    Well, yes, but she's a nurse, and nurses are allowed to do and say whatever they want, cause they got the big needles...and the C things, which I have already promised myself I will never submit to.

  20. ur right mate...week-long indeed lol!


  21. Anonymous2:04 a.m.

    Ten inches is hardly mundane. Oh, hang on - you were referring to height, weren't you?

  22. "On the other hand, it's an imperfection I've had the opportunity to correct...and didn't."

    That's what makes it all the more appealing. That you had the opp but didn't take it. That you didn't conform to society's standards of "beauty."

    Call it imperfection if you will. But far from it from my point of view.

  23. Man, you're related to Sweeney Todd? Tres cool!!!!!

  24. And I posted that before I even scrolled down and read Lee's comment. Hah!

  25. Keshi:

    Apparently you survived in fine shape...


    Yeah, well, the dimensions of THAT are about the only physical characteristic not being discussed here, thankfully...


    You go girl. And thanks.


    Yep, I have nightmares about being hacked to death by him. And quite impressive on knowing who Sweeney Todd was...

  26. WW, I also googed your uncle. I've seen him in a good many roles and he's a wonderful actor. And you had lunch with Glen Close? I'd love to hear that story!

    Scars....ugh. Don't get me started. I have too many to count. It's amazing how our bodies become the roadmap of our experiences, innit?

  27. Pam:

    There isn't that much to tell, really. I just remember her as very nice, intelligent, down to earth...

    They picked us up at Madison Square Garden, brought us to lunch at a restaurant so famous I can't remember it but where a bunch of actors and Mafia hang out, protected us from all the Hare Krishna, hookers and flower sellers, let us stroll with them through Saks on Fifth and other places, and that was it.

    Scars are for braggin' about or cryin' about, that's about it...roadmaps of our lives, for sure.

  28. I did too...considering my aunts and uncles questioning my single life :)


  29. I really don't know what it is about the tooth thing. I just know that it looks good on you... very good.

    It's funny you should say 6'3"; that's exactly what I was imagining. Nonetheless, there is absolutely nothing wrong with 5'9".

  30. Well, can we see the scars?

    I am waiting....

  31. Girls are atleast as much fun as playing with insects... I am jealous turkey is on my big list of the world left to see. Expecially ANZAC cove, just so many stories you here about those cliffs growing up in Aus that i have to see it for my self....

    Probably not til 2008 or late 2007 depends on money and time.

    Dont stress about teeth... i have the same prob, called summer teeth.

    some are (summer) here, some are there:)

  32. Kesh:

    I thought I responded to this yesterday, but apparently Blogger didn't want me to...

    So that pressure's still on you, huh? When you get married, will you have a week-long wedding too?


    Why, thanks. You might have noticed HE making fun of my teeth. Go get him.

    As far as 5-9 goes vs. 6-3, well, that's just the way it is, can't do anything bout it anyway.

    Gautami, girl...

    Somehow, I don't think the blogger world is interested in seeing the scars on my body...


    Yes, girls are a tad more interesting than insects, although there are similarities between them and the praying mantis, which consumes its mate after sex...

    As far as Turkey goes, the quintessential memory I have is overlooking the Sea of Bosphorous, its history and all, that was amazing...

    Summer teeth, I like it...

  33. **When you get married, will you have a week-long wedding too?

    nope! I already told my mum that I dun want such fancy drama kinda wedding. No ways! If I ever get married I'd love to have a simple beach wedding. And ofcourse WW and HE r invited already!


  34. Kesh:

    All-expenses paid? Don't know what your customs are, but maybe we could be the ring-bearers.

    Or we could do our "Stayin' Alive" dance in the buff. Your guests would be incredibly entertained.

    A small wedding on the beach, huh? Sounds cool. And what do you mean, IF you ever get married?


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