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THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE AGE OF THE INTERNET.
The indestructibility of the World Wide Web, the advent of MySpace, the zillion-thoughts-a-second instantaneousness of computers.
So why the hell is that at least once a day, with a high-end Dell PC that I purchased less than six months ago, I get this response from Blogger or from this site or that site: "NOT RESPONDING."
Or I get some stupid message that comes on saying this program or that program saying "We apologize, but mim needs to shut this program down now. Would you like to send an error report?"
No, I'd like to kick you in the balls!
I see bloggers mention it all the time: can't post a picture, lose a lengthy comment on a post you've just spent the last 15 minutes composing, lose a song I've just downloaded when the site shuts down...
You spend $2,000 on your new computer, another $50 a month on your high-speed connection, you buy optional programs like Limewire or Flickr or this or that...and it all goes kersplat.
Is this some big conspiracy by the computer companies and servers and website operators, including Blogger, to drive us mad so that we'll just spend more on the next highest level of service that STILL will break down?
I realize technology is fragile. But why don't they just spit it out and say, "Shit happens. Things break down. This is what you should expect. We don't have it all right. We are not infallible."
But they don't. Instead, they offer outdated advisories saying this site or that site will be taken down for maintenance. But that usually happens only after users have lost this or that.
While I'm at it, might as well whine a bit more. Why do they offer those boxes that say "remember my password," and you click on it to do so, and it never DOES remember your password?
Am I a complete whiner who just doesn't have a clue because I don't have my PhD in getting along with computers or what?
It's funny that your should write this now. Just as I read it, your Chris Isaak video wasn't working. The video on my blog isn't working either.
ReplyDeleteHmn. You seem very upset. I recognize your feelings and I am here to help you find a resolution to your problem. First, I need some information to verify your existence. What is your name?...How are you today Mr. WW? Are you doing well? Yes, sir, I understand. I will help you with your problem. Just to verify your account, What is the color of your eyes and do both eyes have the same color? Very well sir. When was the last time you had a burrito? Yes sir, I understand sir. Did you vote during the last election sir? Okay sir. Do you wear boxers or briefs? ...
ReplyDeleteAnd I am glad that Val snuck up there. If you notice my visits to blogs have diminished it is because of your automatic audio-video program. Lavasoft says it is altering my registery and blocks at least 23 to 35 tracking cookies and spyware with automatic launch therefore my system shuts down. I have to reset my Internet connection. Watch those videos, they are notorious for harboring Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Don't get me started on this frigging subject! Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Drive you up the frigging wall(or even the normal wall). I'm sick to death of that need to close thing, not being able to put a photo on blogger thing. Oh-and another thing -I'm sick to death of getting a bollocking when I accidentally make a mistake when typing in the word verfication letters. It looks cranky -I don't like that :).
ReplyDeleteMs. Val:
ReplyDeleteArrgggghhhhhhhh!
Ces:
Both my eyes are the same boring colour, I haven't had a burrito in months, I did not vote in the last election (civic) here in Canada and I wear boxers and briefs at the same time.
Lee:
ReplyDeleteApparently I already did get you started. The thing that bugs me most is the photo thing on blogger, because I like to use a lot of photos.
Are you sure YOU'RE not cranky?
Ar Ar Ar
I was able to handle the photo issue after I found out how blogger wants to be statisfied. First of all if you have really large files, Blogger may not be able to upload many photos. The secret is to make the photos the size that is Best For Web then upload your photos BEFORE you type in any text. Also notice that in my blog I posts a lot of photos. You can post up to 13 or 15 photos with a post if they are Best For Web size or as many as you want through links with Photo Bucket. The problem with Photo bucket is when their server is down your visitors will see a box with a message telling them that the photo sharing program is off line. Also the photo format (none, left, right, center) sometimes is an issue. I use to get very upset until I remember that blogger is a free service. If it does not work at a given time, I will just try again later.
ReplyDeleteYou need a hug and a stiff drink. There there. PCs are all bastards, aren't they? Kick 'em in the balls indeed. You don't need a PC. You're complete as a single man.
ReplyDeleteHeehee!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing and pointing at you!
Better you than me! Dang, now that I said that, my computer will go all kaputz! Darnnit!
I'm a computer tech, so it really gets under my skin when I run into a problem I can't fix. Right now, me and my computer have a love hate relationship. I love to get online and it hates to.
Ahem...Ladies and Germs (Well, only ladies have responded so far, so...Ladies):
ReplyDeleteThis post was done semi tongue in cheek. As with anything in life, things will screw up royally.
Why would I expect computers and the internet to be any different?
I was just, in a sense, making fun of the next best thing, the incredible new-age thing that has changed our lives so much...and actually just created more problems for us to deal with, in a funny sort of way.
I admit my frustration is real, but I didn't intend for this post to suggest I was about to slit my wrists, just kinda saying, wouldncha know?
Ces:
Thanks, darlin, but I have no clue about Best for Web. I haven't seen that as an option when I get my photos.
Sometimes it takes 10 minutes to upload one photo. Other times, the same pic might take 10 seconds.
Sometimes they don't load at all. And in that case, I just drop it and come back later, like you.
And I'm with you on the left, right, centre thing, plus I know not to write any text before uploading (or is it downloading, who the hell knows) photos.
Thanks for these tips.
Andrea:
Who's gonna give me a hug? Homo Mastadon? And it'll be me fixing him a stiff drink.
How can I be complete as a single man without my puter?
:-)
Oh yeah...LOL!!!!!ROFL!!!!LMAO!!!!
Awaiting:
ReplyDeleteAh, so THAT'S how and why you change your blog every day with these amazing new colours and Photoshop thingies.
Nyah Nyah then. Now you've made me cry. The computer gods will get you for this.
Ces, I don't know why the videos are messing up your computer, but I took them off. Go ahead and try again. Your call is very important to us...Please stay on the line and wait for the next available operator...The average wait time is "7" minutes...This call may be monitored for quality assurance....
ReplyDeleteMs. Val (Ces):
ReplyDeleteNo, Ces was kidding about the videos...RIGHT?
I am fortunuate. I blog only from work, and the computers here are up-to-date, virus free, smooth-running, and most importantly of all there is a whole IT department devoted to their maintenance. No worries!
ReplyDeleteur not a whiner WW, u have every right to complain cos I face the same everyday. Blogger SUXX Period.
ReplyDeleteOn most of the days I have to code the images cos Add Image shit never works!! Even then I'd have to be lucky to have some images up. Bloody incompetent s/w! I was gonna make a very formal complaint to Blogger but didnt have time. Soon I will.
Keshi.
ww, i agree with every malfunction and bitch you've so aptly outlined.
ReplyDeletefyi; dear ces wasn't kidding about the audio-videos. can't have her upset with system failure. my vote: better ces than audio-video.
sometime you have to make compromises for your friends....
:)
:)
Silly -- don't you get it? Your 'puter *is* your better half. OK, I know. Not funny. (And you can keep your snowballs to yourself.)
ReplyDeleteIt's because they can only count to 2
ReplyDeleteMy worst computer day was when the power went out here last week for several hours. I got the DTs for the Internet. Bad. Oh yes, I am an addict.
ReplyDeleteStace:
ReplyDeleteSo you blog from work...and the IT guys will come and fix your puter so you can do that?
Relocation costs would be mighty, but how do I apply?
Kesh:
Blogger may suck sometimes, but we still love her (notice how I arbitrarily assign it the "female" gender)...
KJ (Ces):
But, but, but...is it only Ces that's affected? And if so is that something she can resolve?
Or are all 5.2 of my audience encountering the same issues? Stay tuned...cause I like being a Blogger VeeJay.
Andrea:
No, I didn't get it, but then I'm pretty dense. But i get it NOW!!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha...
Women often call me silly, it's my goal in life to get them to do that.
(Your comment about my puter being my mate is about right at the moment, however...gulp)
Ziggi:
So THAT'S it. I can count at least twice as high...
MJ:
How did you cope?
WW:
ReplyDeleteI can access your blog from this work station because this workstation is very powerful. It terminates any unlicensed active-x controls. I am not kidding. I come bringing jolly good greeting from Flanders, Belgium from a lovely female admirer of yours who has been secretly admiring your blog but cannot leave messages because of comment controls:
Hildegard, Inside Flanders (Her link is in my blog) tells you:
"P.S. Can you perhaps say a Hello to Within without from me ? and tell him that I am a secret reader because I can't get through his security system :-) : first an ID = OK, then : a non Blogger-blogger cannot comment and 3. no E-mail on first sight. Thank you !
As for the video, I have a program that terminates Internet Explorer processes when something alters my registry or brings me cookies. Maybe it does not want me to get fat! Don't worry about me. I will access your sites from this work station. I just won't be able to see the BeeGees dancing or Olivia Newton-John singing and gyrating with a pole.
How did I cope with the power outage? I went to the nearest public library branch to use their Internet terminals. HAD to have my fix. I am weak.
ReplyDeleteCes:
ReplyDeleteYou seem to know a lot more about this than me, but what's an unlicensed active-x control and where is it on my blog?
And thanks for passing on greetings from Hildegard. I'll go to your site to go to her site.
But she can't access my site because of my comment controls, as in not allowing anonymous comments?
My email address is included in my profile so assuming she can see that, she can email me.
Or you can go there and get the address if you like. Canadians and Belgians ("In Flanders fields where poppies grow")...
And it's Remembrance Day in Canada on Monday, a solemn day we honour by wearing red poppies...
And I've been to Belgium! I think it took me about 89 seconds to pass through it...
MJ:
You ARE hooked!!!
i HATE that bloody "remember me" tickbox- it never works!
ReplyDeleteand i'm a whiner too...!
Angel:
ReplyDeleteWell you're an Angel...can't you talk to the Omnipresent One upstairs and get something done about this?
A.Get a Mac
ReplyDeleteB Set your zone alarm on learning mode
C stay away from file to file sharing
D don't try and post during the high traffic AM... OVERLOAD!
E ignore all of the above except A.
F start phoning everyone and talking instead of blogging
G don't send error report..Microsoft just wants to know where you have been wasting all of your time
H turn the damn thing off and go for a walk!