DO YOU SEE THE SIMILARITIES?
MR. CLEAN
MR. CHRISOK, maybe not. My muscles have sagged, I wear glasses, I'm a bit past the stage of wearing muscle shirts -- but I still have more hair than HE does!
So in my last post, I talked about my organized chaos and promised I would actually clean it up.
Unfortunately, some people (HELLO, ANDREA!) actually held me to that commitment. Even though I had no true intention of following through on it, at least not immediately.
Andrea said I would have to go to my room if I didn't do a post showing I had cleaned up.
Another woman always used to threaten that I would have to go to HER room for being a bad boy. I kind of liked that idea better ;-)
But since I spend most of my time in MY room anyway, and since I had also been hung out to dry by MJ, Donnnnn and others, I figured I'd spend most of my Saturday...actually CLEANING UP.
You'll notice I have avoided updating you on the fridge. That's a larger project I will handle Sunday. For now, this will have to do, you pack of bloodthirsty clean freaks!
You can refer to the previous post, if you want, for before and after pictures.
THE LIVING ROOM ENTERTAINMENT AREA
OK, I know this is where the few visitors I have will spend most of their time when they're with me. I know MJ poked me in the ribs about having pix of Donnnnn there.
In between two pix of that bozo is a beautiful snapshot of his lovely wife and their son. So there. And there are lots of other pix of my family and loved ones.
I didn't touch a dang thing there today. The dust is all in the right place, the pix are all where they should be, the lights shine brightly when I turn them on, this is just perfect for me.
THE BIDET/BATHROOM/POOF POOF ROOM
OK, the bathroom was very simple. Just throw a few items into a closet that no one can see and which I won't blog about, close those stupid 70s' era sliding mirror doors on the medicine cabinet and pretend it's clean.
THE KITCHEN
This central location actually gets little use except by me. I use it as a writing area, bill paying centre, cooking area and otherwise. Of course my kids use it as an "I need to eat and make a mess" region.
Here is my super-human effort to clean it up. Don't think I moved out the stove or fridge or anything. I only do that once every 10 years.
FRICKIN' STORAGE AND OTHERWISE UGLY AREA
OK, I emptied everything from the past six months or so and rinsed out the ugly white bacteria cultures that had formed on the bottom. What more could anyone ask?
BEDROOM DRESSER REGION
Anna appeared to be asking if if I was some weirdo and if I was performing human sacrificial rituals with the candles and stuff, seeing as there had been a picture of me under that mirror.
I'm proud to say that I've removed the picture from that location and stuck it on my ceiling for any sacrifices that may be performed. What remains is pretty mundane and acceptable for appearances' sake, I believe.
Although in some future year, I actually WILL refinish the top of this dresser.
MY BEDROOM CLOSET
MY BEDROOM CLOSET
(Eds note: When you don't have a place of your own, you tend to not have the pride or motivation to make it look nice. That's definitely the case in my circumstance)
Hey, we use the same kind of lotion!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, nice job on the clean-up, do you make house calls? I have a feeling my cat may have thrown a few parties while I was gone the past week.
Ack!
ReplyDeleteIt's the return of the Perry Como slippers!
Adding a disco ball to your bathroom would be a nice finishing touch.
ReplyDeleteWho needs Colin & Justin's Home Heist when you have us?
ReplyDeleteLaurie:
ReplyDeleteUh, that lotion's not really for me -- but good choice!
I do make house calls, but my fees are exhorbitant because I perform absolute magic. Send me some pix and I'll write up an estimate.
MJ:
Of course the Perry Como slippers! It's starting to get cold at night here!
I attached the disco ball last night, while Donnnnnn was over here after inviting himself over for what was supposed to be "just a drink."
We played the soundtrack from Saturday Night Fever and did our Bee Gees thing the way we used to in college.
It wasn't quite the same.
What, are you planning a home invasion now that you've seen all my valuables?
That's better.
ReplyDeleteNow there's more room to put up a few more pictures of me...
hmmm, maybe you better put up one of MJ too,
I think somebodys a little jealous.
OH and for gawdsake make a little shrine for Gautami, something tasteful and not too gauche, lest she unleasheth her wrath upon thee.
A-. That closet door needs work. :)
ReplyDeleteYou may now have three of the chocolate chip cookies I just made. Would you like that with milk or a shot of Scotch?
Donnnnn:
ReplyDeleteI've actually collected all of the pix I have of you, sealed them in a time capsule and put them in my famous haunted crawl space.
There they'll remain, for discovery 100 years from now by some nerd who'll open up the capsule and say: "So this guy actually existed and was part of our evolution?"
Of course MJ is jealous.
But if she would actually come up with a new avatar or send me pictures, I'd put them in the frames vacated by your ugly mug.
As far as Gautami goes, well she mentioned last post that she wanted to see something from my erotica art collection (or something).
That will have to suffice. I only have room in my apartment for one shrine, and that's to me.
Andrea:
Which closet door? Be glad I never even ventured into my son's room for this feature documentary.
I LOVE homemade chocolate chip cookies! I'll have a glass of milk to dip them in with the scotch as a shooter. :-)
I know this is your favourite pic of me so print it out and frame it.
ReplyDeleteAnd put it up front so it’s blocking Donnnnn’s photo.
well dude- i reckon you deserve a friggin medal!!!
ReplyDeleteMJ:
ReplyDeleteYeah, that is my favourite pic of you. You're now standing inside a picture frame on my entertainment unit.
Angel:
I agree. So where's my medal then?
Don't talk about me as if I am not there. Bad manners!
ReplyDeleteBTW, my avatar of teacups won't look nice out there!
Gautami:
ReplyDeleteDonnnnn started ittttttttt.
Gooooooooo blame himmmmmmmmm.
Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Your teacups avatar won't look nice out WHERE? I agree, if this is what you mean, that it isn't incredibly erotic.
But only if that's what you mean...I think...(*runs away in abject fear*)
Did you clean your bathroom sink? It looks filthy. Please clean it to a sparkling shine.
ReplyDeleteHaving your picture on the ceiling sounds more kinky than having a mirror up there.
Where is my Winky Weinerhead award?
ReplyDeleteAnna:
ReplyDeleteBut as I said, it's for a particular ritual that doesn't involve cleaning the sink.
However, for you, I will wash the sink.
Donny:
Oh frickin' great! A new stupid name and a new idiotic avatar! Check out my latest post, you moron.
OK, I admit it: it's what's behind the closet door. Or should I make that a B+?
ReplyDeleteAndrea:
ReplyDeleteWait! You mean you're going to lower my grade unless I simply open the door and take a pic?
Or you're looking for a more detailed, itemized look at all of the items inside it?