The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

September 4, 2008

Chris's Chicanery in Chicagoland

And so, safely ensconced back at home in the OTHER Windy City, we wrap up our trip to the Chicago area with this little travelogue.

Amazingly, I actually was able to navigate Chicago's incredibly complex freeway system and make my way to Joliet, almost an hour's drive southwest.

That's where I checked into this fancy-schmanzy hotel.

Those 3.5 people who were involved in the tedious comments section of my previous post will know that I described a separate room that featured a fireplace and an extremely large soaking tub with jets in it.

This is it.

I suspect that, for whatever reason, they put me in the honeymoon suite. Unfortunately, I had no honey with me in that room to be sweet with. If I had, however, the bed pictured below would have sufficed.

The room, which I stayed in for five days, was great. The hotel was clean. This was all in stark contrast to my next stop -- Gary, Ind. -- but I'll get to that in a bit.

As I joked in the comments section of the last post, what a coincidence, but I stumbled across one of my many business interests, which was right across the street from my hotel.
You can see these pictures are over-exposed. Go suck an egg.

Thankfully, there was a McDonald's very close by. There was a steady stream of baseball players and yours truly making regular stops there. I discovered their premier line of salads and munched on them often.

Below is a shot of my rental vehicle, which had Texas licence plates. I felt like George W. Bush's buddy for a week.

And to follow up on another matter discussed in the previous post's comments section, where I had noted that a praying mantis had appeared at my work station in the press box, and no one believed me...
Well it loved me so much, it flew all the way to my hotel to be with me.
I call her Priscilla.

After my stay in Joliet, our baseball team opened its playoff series in Gary, Ind., on Tuesday.
We drove directly from Joliet to the ballpark and my team lost Game 1 of the best-of-five series. Priscilla stayed in Joliet.
Below is a picture of the team bus. It's parked out in what is obviously the totally empty parking lot of the casino/hotel complex where we stayed. The parking lot was overrun by grass and weeds.

And this was our hotel...

Ha! Fooled you! I have no idea what that building is -- I suspect a steel mill -- but it was on that site. No, our hotel is below.

And here's the casino, which I didn't visit once...

My hotel room in this dump wasn't nearly as nice as the one in Joliet...

Hell, even I could do a better job wallpapering than these guys...

Our team won the second game in Gary and then the bus drove the 16 hours back to Winnipeg.
I stayed overnight in Gary again and then drove through a torrential rainstorm (remnants of Gustav) back to O'Hare.
And wouldn't you know it, while I was there yet more catastrophe occurred when a plane overshot the runway and flew right into Terminal 1. Amazingly, no one was injured. (Below)
So I had a beer at the Goose Island beer stop and waited for my plane, which was an hour late.


  1. (Noticing the bedposts on the headboard and smiling wickedly.)

    Glad you're back home, safe and sound.

  2. Thank you SO much for the photo of your DIRTY SOCKS!

  3. *clicks to make pics bigger*

    Next time you take pics in a mirror, you might want to remember to put some pants on!

  4. That is a rather ghey amount of pillows on your bed, I must say.

  5. Anna:

    Wickedly? Yep, you're the Wicked Witch of the West, all right...


    But at least they're the anklet socks as opposed to knee highs!

    I was fully clothed. What are you talking about? Your imagination is a vivid one...

    Pillows: I live in the lap of luxury.

  6. First of all, I want to know who the .5 person is?

    Secondly, there must be a clinical name for your obscure fascination with photographing bathtubs without nekked people in them.

    Thirdly, did you buy that faking Mantis at a Dollar store? Hello!
    Did you use gum to pin it on the ceiling. Come on!

    And finally, welcome home you big goober.

  7. Donnnnnnnn:

    While you take up the physical space of two people, you usurp the mental space of .5 people.

    That's why I keep calling you a nerd.

    The tub: Well, there were no nekkid people available. It can get lonely on the road.

    As far as the praying mantis goes, it was real, it was outside not on my ceiling, and I didn't need to use gum.

    See you Monday, Turd Boy.

  8. Priscilla was lovely - that soft green belly is very attractive. Guess she wasn't the kind to pick up and leave with someone she barely knew.

    Glad you are home safe and sound. And I am also glad that you clarified that Donnnn is the .5 - cuz I am not small enough to be .5 at all!

  9. Did you pray with the (p) mantis?!

    Good to see you back.

    Do you know I needed your support to thrash Donn? He is getting too big for his boots!

  10. Hey...too bad your travels didn't take you to New York, would have been fun to hang out ...I am a honey of sorts

  11. PG:

    Well, women can be very flighty, as you know -- especially when they've got wings that big.


    I did not pray, no. I'm not religious. Donnnnnnn has always been too big for his boots.

    But why do you need to thrash him? I thrash him every other week, usually. He loves it.


    I didn't say I didn't have a honey, just that I didn't have a honey with me in the suite.

  12. Gautami my dear you can stop trying to get Chris onside because he is without a doubt my biggest fan and clearly one of my most loyal disciples.

    Well that and I have so much juicy 'dirt' on him that he could never consider trying to leave my Organization...
    plus he signed a Confidentiality Agreement (Article 2 Section 14 b)under the Faustian Deal With Donnnnn Clause.

    Haven't you ever wondered WHY he still looks so young for his age?

    Article 2 Section 14 b

  13. Gautami (Donnnnnn; aka Dunnnnnnderhead):

    As you can see, Donnnnnn has delusional fantasies that are symptomatic of his condition.

    He is trying to make himself out to be the devil (and, well, THAT could be true), giving me eternal youth.

    The fact is, he DOES have a lot of dirt on me. But I've got all the dirt on him too.

    So we cancel each other out and, seeing as we will both live to eternity and beyond, we're like two Greek gods that play little tricks on each other and constantly try to get the best of one another.

    You will note that I usually win. He's coming over here Monday night for a well-deserved pow wow. I'll kick him in the gonads for you, if I can find them.

  14. Donnnnnnn, see I got Chris on my side. Besides, I got you too my side!

    And no one talks about age in front of females! Remember, we try to hide ours all the time!

    Thanks Chris. I am glad that you are considering kicking him for me on the gonads.

    Just the thought is enough for me. Let him be. He does not deserve so much attention. Ignore him.

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  16. Gautami,
    You cut me deep.
    Nevertheless, I shall take the high road and forgive this little escapade of yours..
    try to control yourself OK?,
    by not turning you into a Newt, or something, it makes me look like a weenie in front of the others.
    You owe me big time sister.

    And just to show you that there's no hard feelings, I shall grant you one more year on Earth...
    don't make me regret this...
    now run along and play 'nice' with the other Bloggers.

  17. Gautami:

    I always kick him in the gonads. That is, when I'm not ignoring him. And I have not taken sides.


    Now I think you're confusing yourself with Ziggi, who's not a witch, but a very very good witch.

    It's witches, not devils, who turn people into newts.

    But you do have one thing right. You ARE a weenie.

  18. Well, I have NEVER stayed in a hotel before, the saddo that I am LOL.... the first one though does look exceedingly lovely where as the second one I wouldnt dare take a bath in that 'thing' lol...... couldnt you of just 'hired' a honey for your 5 days to share that HUGE bed and bath LMFAO.....

    Glad you safely home..... :)


  19. Toasty:

    One of my mottos is "Never pay for anything you can get for free."

    I think you're the only person I know of who has never once stayed in a hotel.


  20. :( The only person..... cripes, now I feel even more like some saddo LOL


  21. Toasty:

    No need to feel like a saddo. I just think that must be very rare, but if you've never had cause to stay in a hotel, cool.


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