The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

January 16, 2008

Customer Satisfaction Survey

Here on Spaceship Orion, we aim to please.

We realize that we go all over the place in subject matter.


Big

Small


Absurd

Or Just plain stupid.


But we want your feedback. Our customer relations department has spent months developing the following survey, which should take only a few hours of your time to read and then several days to fill out.

Please respond promptly. In return, we'll send you a gift and will actually continue blogging, although perhaps at a nominal cost, details of which we may include in the fine print of some future blog post.

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION SURVEY
SNIPPETS FROM SPACESHIP ORION
JANUARY 2008

1. As a loyal reader of WW's blog, I would rate my overall satisfaction at (pick one of the numbers shown on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being less satisfied and 10 being bordering on orgasmic)

10

2. My most memorable WW blog post was...

PLENTY OF SPACE HERE FOR YOU TO WRITE






3. My least memorable WW blog post that I actually remember was...(fill this space)
4. I don't remember ANY WW blog posts and I just stumbled upon this ridiculous website by Googling the words "Gay Socks Sex" (If true, just check here or type out the word, "yes") or "Famous shaving accidents" (check here or type the word, "yes.")

5. I first found this blog by (check one):

a. accident;
b. misadventure;
c. Homo Escapeon's blog;
d. MJ's blog;
e. Stace's blog;
f. Anna's blog;
g. George W. Bush's blog on most wanted Dubya teasers;
h. Ziggi's blog;
i. Andrea's blog;
j. Gautami's blog;
k. Googling: "Most Brilliant Man in Universe";
l. Laurie's blog;
m. Dinahmow's blog;
n. Hildegarde's blog;
o. Oh, you know who you are.

6. I want WW to blog more about (Pick one, none, or as many as you want):
a. his love life;
b. his kids;
c. his view of world politics, especially in the Excited States;
d. what it's like to actually live in a spaceship and hail from another planet;
e. his appliances, including what's in them and what's behind them;
f. how to properly clean your bathroom, including the toilet, and which way toilet paper should be installed on the toilet paper thingie;
g. how to deal with ear and nose hairs;
h. Who did WW tease today and how;
i. my latest car repair;
j. Socks and sex;
k. Yet more investigations of the differences between the male and female brains;
l. Other (If you wish, add details on a piece of paper; do not fold)
In addition, we would like to ask you a few more questions to get a representative indication from the general population about complex socio-economic trends, with some of the information possibly being used for future posts.

1. Do you have an uncle named Bob?

2. Have you ever wondered whether WW's various avatars are actually legitimate illustrations of what he really looks like?

3. Would you care anyway?

4. Do you ever secretly wonder why anyone would actually choose to live in Canada?

5. Do you think it's possible that Homo Escapeons and WW are actually one in the same person, or at least somehow joined at the hip?

6. What is your favourite board game or card game?

7. What is the funniest word you know of? (Examples: Doily; brassiere; panties)

Thank you for your time. If you would like, add other suggestions as you see fit. Another survey may be circulated in the future, once it gets warmer outside.

As a bonus for filling out this questionnaire, for those of you who have wondered about Spaceship Orion, here are the lyrics from that great 1973 song by Ozark Mountain Daredevils, for which I can't find the vid on YouTube:

Spaceship Orion
(Larry Lee)
when the man comes to you
tells you what you always knew was comin'
you feel it came twice as fast
you always thought the world would last way past you
but now you find it's time
'cause there's nothin' left around you
spaceship orion's there waiting to part the air above you

waiting to take you
waiting to place you
in a world exactly different
from the one you leave behind

if you find it man you're lucky
but it still won't be the same
if can't be like home
it can't feel like home
to you there....

it can't be like home
it can't feel like home
to you there
if can't be like home
it can't feel like home
to you there

21 comments:

  1. 1. As a loyal reader of WW's blog, I would rate my overall satisfaction at (pick one of the numbers shown on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being less satisfied and 10 being bordering on orgasmic)

    You rate a 9 - I've never actually reached orgasm, so try harder.

    2. My most memorable WW blog post was...

    Actually I don't remember any WW blog posts five minutes after I've finished reading them. But that's a reflection on my memory, and probably not the quality of writing.

    3. My least memorable WW blog post that I actually remember was...(fill this space)

    See above.

    4. I don't remember ANY WW blog posts and I just stumbled upon this ridiculous website by Googling the words "Gay Socks Sex" (If true, just check here or type out the word, "yes") or "Famous shaving accidents" (check here or type the word, "yes.")

    I didn't actually google Gay Socks Sex, although I might try it someday.

    5. I first found this blog by (check one):

    k. Googling: "Most Brilliant Man in Universe"; - that brought up Aidan's blog, which had a link here... ;)

    6. I want WW to blog more about (Pick one, none, or as many as you want):

    a. his love life;
    b. his kids;
    d. what it's like to actually live in a spaceship and hail from another planet;
    e. his appliances, including what's in them and what's behind them;
    f. how to properly clean your bathroom, including the toilet, and which way toilet paper should be installed on the toilet paper thingie;
    g. how to deal with ear and nose hairs;
    j. Socks and sex;
    k. Yet more investigations of the differences between the male and female brains;

    In addition, we would like to ask you a few more questions to get a representative indication from the general population about complex socio-economic trends, with some of the information possibly being used for future posts.

    1. Do you have an uncle named Bob?

    No.

    2. Have you ever wondered whether WW's various avatars are actually legitimate illustrations of what he really looks like?

    No.

    3. Would you care anyway?

    No.

    4. Do you ever secretly wonder why anyone would actually choose to live in Canada?

    Well, I suppose you've got to live somewhere if you can't make it to Australia.

    5. Do you think it's possible that Homo Escapeons and WW are actually one in the same person, or at least somehow joined at the hip?

    I just assumed you were siamese twins. I didn't realise this was open to question.

    6. What is your favourite board game or card game?

    I have no idea.

    7. What is the funniest word you know of? (Examples: Doily; brassiere; panties)

    Teatowel. I mean, tea is meant to be wet. It's just water with stuff in it. What does it want a towel for?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stace:

    Full marks for filling out the survey...kind of.

    You did not follow the rules, however. Your only option on Question 1 was 10, but you said 9.

    And just so you know, I do try very hard. And I'll talk to Aidan about the orgasm issue.

    How can you not remember one single post (*runs away and cries*)

    --I bet I was No. 2, anyway, on your Google search for the "Most Brilliant Man in the Universe" (and I realize that politically speaking, you had to pacify Aidan).

    --Now I have to actually go back to find out what c, h and i were on what you DON'T want me to blog about...

    Excellent response about why anyone would choose to live in Canada@!

    Teatowel? I'll add it to the list...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I should probably specify "while reading this blog", as an addendum to my first answer!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Goodness! I'm not even going to attempt to answer all the questions except to say that your post showing the state of your bathtub remains very vivid. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1. If I don't say 9 you might never recover from your shame spiral so 9
    ((sigh))

    2.I like it when you talk about your Granny and your Mom.

    3. Your mindnumbingly baffling posts highlighting your pitiful exfoliating and subsequent exsanguination.. and of course the appliance and bacterial colonization of your domicile...
    and your monthly 38,000 word rants on Dubya that do little other than secure your certification as an enemy combatant by the US Government.
    4. Oh come on!
    5. Osmosis
    6. Exclusively on your Love Life and I want explicit photos and details or I'll take my business elsewhere!

    Look we both know that I don't fit into your Sensitive Male Meets Women's Issues Head-On demographics because I 'gots a wanger' but what are ya gonna do?

    Part Two..GAWD!!
    1.I had 2 Uncle Bobs..seriously
    2.You mos def need Photoshop and #3whatevah
    4.because our Grandparents immigrated and we can't afford to move back to Europe
    5.pffft! Dream on wanky wetpants..We ain't joinin' nuthin dude!
    6. Phase 10
    7. unbef*ckinglievable..NO..weiner

    Can I go now? Don't I get a Toaster or something?

    ReplyDelete
  6. yep that just about covers it all.

    carry on then.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 1. As a loyal reader of WW's blog, I would rate my overall satisfaction at (pick one of the numbers shown on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being less satisfied and 10 being bordering on orgasmic)


    1+0 (note that I didn't remove your numbers)


    2. My most memorable WW blog post was...


    ummmmm......when you said about the.....ummmmmm...you know that post about.....the egg exploding on your daughter's hair ;)


    3. My least memorable WW blog post that I actually remember was

    one that I cannot actually recollect

    4. I don't remember ANY WW blog posts and I just stumbled upon this ridiculous website by Googling the words "Gay Socks Sex" (If true, just check here or type out the word, "yes") or "Famous shaving accidents" (check here or type the word, "yes.")

    Don't tell me what to write here, you Canadian ;)


    5. I first found this blog by (check one):


    a. accident;
    b. misadventure;
    c. Homo Escapeon's blog;
    d. MJ's blog;
    e. Stace's blog;
    f. Anna's blog;
    g. George W. Bush's blog on most wanted Dubya teasers;
    h. Ziggi's blog;
    i. Andrea's blog;
    j. Gautami's blog;
    k. Googling: "Most Brilliant Man in Universe";
    l. Laurie's blog;
    m. Dinahmow's blog;
    n. Hildegarde's blog;
    o. Oh, you know who you are.


    I'm buggered if I know how I found it.


    6. I want WW to blog more about (Pick one, none, or as many as you want):
    a. his love life;
    b. his kids;
    c. his view of world politics, especially in the Excited States;
    d. what it's like to actually live in a spaceship and hail from another planet;
    e. his appliances, including what's in them and what's behind them;
    f. how to properly clean your bathroom, including the toilet, and which way toilet paper should be installed on the toilet paper thingie;
    g. how to deal with ear and nose hairs;
    h. Who did WW tease today and how;
    i. my latest car repair;
    j. Socks and sex;
    k. Yet more investigations of the differences between the male and female brains;
    l. Other (If you wish, add details on a piece of paper; do not fold)
    In addition, we would like to ask you a few more questions to get a representative indication from the general population about complex socio-economic trends, with some of the information possibly being used for future posts.

    Bathroom + fridge contents + closet contents + egg incidents


    1. Do you have an uncle named Bob?

    Shall I be the one that winks and says:bob's yer uncle ;) ?


    2. Have you ever wondered whether WW's various avatars are actually legitimate illustrations of what he really looks like?

    Are you saying that it's not really Marvin The Martian?


    3. Would you care anyway?

    I wouldn't really give a stuff if the truth be told ;)


    4. Do you ever secretly wonder why anyone would actually choose to live in Canada?

    I wonder this all the time ;) -even though I did live there myself


    5. Do you think it's possible that Homo Escapeons and WW are actually one in the same person, or at least somehow joined at the hip?

    Yes -I think that homo escapeons looks like Marvin The Martian as well


    6. What is your favourite board game or card game?

    500, because i think the jack of diamonds is a good sort


    7. What is the funniest word you know of? (Examples: Doily; brassiere; panties)

    cobblers

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stace:

    What? You've never achieved orgasm while reading this blog? (*stuffs hands in pockets, walks away with head down*)

    Menchie:

    Yeah, well, see, I don't think I actually expected ANYONE would really respond to the survey...

    I do remember that post about the dirty bathtub. It's now bright and white, I'll have you know.

    HE:

    Yeah, you are the one person I'd make an exception for in response to correctly answering No. 1.

    Explicit photos of my love life will never make it on this blog. And are you sure you have a wanger?

    Wanky Wetpants -- I like it!

    Ziggi:

    Now THAT'S the kind of response I expected!

    Lee:

    Very clever with the 1+0!

    Closet contents, eh?

    A Bob's Yer Uncle post may very well follow. The saying, as a primer, has Aussie roots, I think.

    And HE can't be Marvin the Martian. I'd say he's more like Porky the Pig on a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Without going on the semantics of it all, I got one word or two or may be three or five!

    I do visit, don't I?

    What more can you ask?

    ReplyDelete
  10. How did I find you?

    I Googled "filthiest kitchen in Canada."

    I'll be back later to complete the form.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's not Porky THE Pig you goober!
    What a maroon!

    I would say that I am more like Peabody...Peabody and Sherman on Rocky and Bullwinkle? The Dog who was a historian?
    Hmm. Except now that I think about it I am sort of loud like Foghorn Leghorn..you know, the big 'Southern' Rooster on Bugs Bunny?

    "Throw the ball I SAY throw the ball boy! Nice kid but he doesn't listen to a word ya say."

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gautami:

    Yes, all I want is your visits. From now on, I'll do three-, four- or five-word posts.

    Agreed, then. What more could I ask?

    :-)

    MJ:

    Don't burst any blood vessels. Actually, I consider my kitchen quite clean, when my son isn't here.

    Homo Exceptionally Idiotic:

    To me, he's Porky THE Pig. Ebedee, ebedee, ebedee...that's all folks!

    You could never be Peabody. He was a prof-type, bespectacled, calm, reasoned...the complete opposite of you!

    He never smiled and you always smile or laugh. He was restrained, you're outrageous.

    But neither could you be Foghorn Leghorn, except for your close physical resemblance to him.

    Yes, you're loud and obnoxious like him. But he was scatterbrained...er, OK, that's you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I imagine HE as more like Roger Rabbit...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Stace:

    Roger Rabbit works for HE, I think.

    Hey...do you ever sleep?

    ReplyDelete
  15. 1. As a loyal reader of WW's blog, I would rate my overall satisfaction at (pick one of the numbers shown on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being less satisfied and 10 being bordering on orgasmic)

    OK, is that when reading while within, or just without the orgasmatron?

    2. My most memorable WW blog post was...

    Long Distance

    3. My least memorable WW blog post that I actually remember was...(fill this space)

    the ones I haven't read

    4. I don't remember ANY WW blog posts and I just stumbled upon this ridiculous website by Googling the words "Gay Socks Sex" (If true, just check here or type out the word, "yes") or "Famous shaving accidents" (check here or type the word, "yes.")

    N/A

    5. I first found this blog by (check one):

    b. misadventure

    6. I want WW to blog more about (Pick one, none, or as many as you want):

    a. his love life
    b. his kids
    c. his view of world politics, especially in the Excited States
    h. Who did WW tease today and how
    j. Socks and sex
    l. Other...(any other of your choosing)



    1. Do you have an uncle named Bob?

    No, do you?

    2. Have you ever wondered whether WW's various avatars are actually legitimate illustrations of what he really looks like?

    No

    3. Would you care anyway?

    I might, I just never thought about it.

    4. Do you ever secretly wonder why anyone would actually choose to live in Canada?

    No, I sometimes secretly wonder what it would be like to actually live there.

    5. Do you think it's possible that Homo Escapeons and WW are actually one in the same person, or at least somehow joined at the hip?

    Don't know enough to make an educated guess on this one.

    6. What is your favourite board game or card game?

    umm, one made of cardboard (sorry)

    7. What is the funniest word you know of? (Examples: Doily; brassiere; panties)

    orgasmatron

    ReplyDelete
  16. Annie:

    You mean while I'm within the orgasmatron or you? I would think within.

    It would give you something to do during your orgasm.

    But, but, but...you never commented on Long Distance.

    And while you might wonder what it would be like to live in Canada, best delay your curiosity.

    With the windchill, it's supposed to be -45C (that's something like -300F) here tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  17. 1. You know, I would have given you an 11, but nooooooo... you had to limit yourself to 10. So 10 it is.

    2. My most memorable WW blog post was the one about your dad and his depression.

    3. My least memorable WW blog post that I actually remember was... I don't remember what it was about.

    4. N/A

    5. c. Homo Escapeon's blog

    6. I want WW to blog more about

    a. his love life
    b. his kids
    e. his appliances, including what's in them and what's behind them
    f. how to properly clean your bathroom, including the toilet, and which way toilet paper should be installed on the toilet paper thingie
    g. how to deal with ear and nose hairs
    h. Who did WW tease today and how
    i. my latest car repair
    j. Socks and sex - (you know, I tried this and it works very well. ;) )
    l. Your observations of and interactions with friends and family.
    m. The people in your neighbourhood - like that Chinese garbage lady

    1. Do you have an uncle named Bob? No

    2. Have you ever wondered whether WW's various avatars are actually legitimate illustrations of what he really looks like? No, I just enjoy them.

    3. Would you care anyway? No

    4. Do you ever secretly wonder why anyone would actually choose to live in Canada? I don't need to wonder. I live in Canada too.

    5. Do you think it's possible that Homo Escapeons and WW are actually one in the same person, or at least somehow joined at the hip?
    Nope, not possible.

    6. What is your favourite board game or card game?
    Backgammon

    7. What is the funniest word you know of? I don't know any funny words.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anna:

    Ha Ha Ha! An 11! And everyone always told me I was just a 3 dressed up as a 4!

    The socks and sex post still brings me Google hits virtually every day...

    I don't really blog so much about my extended family any more because some said they didn't want their pictures or info out on the Web. No pix, no story, no fun, no point.

    I played a lot of backgammon on a trip I made to Europe, Asia and India many years ago...now, not so much.

    You don't know ONE funny word?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Not a single one. I really like the word "wanker", though. I don't really think it's funny, it just puts a grin on my face.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anna:

    I think wanker's one of the funniest words in the universe! That's what HE and I usually call one another.

    ReplyDelete

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