Customer Satisfaction Survey

Here on Spaceship Orion, we aim to please.

We realize that we go all over the place in subject matter.

Big

Small

Absurd

Or Just plain stupid.

But we want your feedback. Our customer relations department has spent months developing the following survey, which should take only a few hours of your time to read and then several days to fill out.

Please respond promptly. In return, we'll send you a gift and will actually continue blogging, although perhaps at a nominal cost, details of which we may include in the fine print of some future blog post.

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION SURVEY

SNIPPETS FROM SPACESHIP ORION

JANUARY 2008

1. As a loyal reader of WW's blog, I would rate my overall satisfaction at (pick one of the numbers shown on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being less satisfied and 10 being bordering on orgasmic)

10

2. My most memorable WW blog post was...

PLENTY OF SPACE HERE FOR YOU TO WRITE

3. My least memorable WW blog post that I actually remember was...(fill this space)

4. I don't remember ANY WW blog posts and I just stumbled upon this ridiculous website by Googling the words "Gay Socks Sex" (If true, just check here or type out the word, "yes") or "Famous shaving accidents" (check here or type the word, "yes.")

5. I first found this blog by (check one):

a. accident;

b. misadventure;

c. Homo Escapeon's blog;

d. MJ's blog;

e. Stace's blog;

f. Anna's blog;

g. George W. Bush's blog on most wanted Dubya teasers;

h. Ziggi's blog;

i. Andrea's blog;

j. Gautami's blog;

k. Googling: "Most Brilliant Man in Universe";

l. Laurie's blog;

m. Dinahmow's blog;

n. Hildegarde's blog;

o. Oh, you know who you are.

6. I want WW to blog more about (Pick one, none, or as many as you want):

a. his love life;

b. his kids;

c. his view of world politics, especially in the Excited States;

d. what it's like to actually live in a spaceship and hail from another planet;

e. his appliances, including what's in them and what's behind them;

f. how to properly clean your bathroom, including the toilet, and which way toilet paper should be installed on the toilet paper thingie;

g. how to deal with ear and nose hairs;

h. Who did WW tease today and how;

i. my latest car repair;

j. Socks and sex;

k. Yet more investigations of the differences between the male and female brains;

l. Other (If you wish, add details on a piece of paper; do not fold)

In addition, we would like to ask you a few more questions to get a representative indication from the general population about complex socio-economic trends, with some of the information possibly being used for future posts.

1. Do you have an uncle named Bob?

2. Have you ever wondered whether WW's various avatars are actually legitimate illustrations of what he really looks like?

3. Would you care anyway?

4. Do you ever secretly wonder why anyone would actually choose to live in Canada?

5. Do you think it's possible that Homo Escapeons and WW are actually one in the same person, or at least somehow joined at the hip?

6. What is your favourite board game or card game?

7. What is the funniest word you know of? (Examples: Doily; brassiere; panties)

Thank you for your time. If you would like, add other suggestions as you see fit. Another survey may be circulated in the future, once it gets warmer outside.

As a bonus for filling out this questionnaire, for those of you who have wondered about Spaceship Orion, here are the lyrics from that great 1973 song by Ozark Mountain Daredevils, for which I can't find the vid on YouTube:

Spaceship Orion
(Larry Lee)

when the man comes to you
tells you what you always knew was comin'
you feel it came twice as fast
you always thought the world would last way past you

but now you find it's time
'cause there's nothin' left around you
spaceship orion's there waiting to part the air above you

waiting to take you
waiting to place you
in a world exactly different
from the one you leave behind

if you find it man you're lucky
but it still won't be the same
if can't be like home
it can't feel like home
to you there....

it can't be like home
it can't feel like home
to you there
if can't be like home
it can't feel like home
to you there