The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

January 24, 2008

Bob's Yer Uncle

Well, we created quite a furor recently at the workplace.

You see, our newspaper, as part of a plan to become more...whatever, has opted to move all of our departments around in the same space as part of our attempts to become more modern and on-line or something or other.

So our sports department, also affectionately known by all the other reporters and editors as the toy department, has been moved from one side of our dreary office to the other.

But we have lost our little pod separation thingies, which never really gave us any privacy but which seemed to. I have a fairly loud, deep voice so whatever I said carried pretty much two miles anyway.

But now we have absolutely nothing separating us from our city and night desk operations, or from our on-line people or anything else.

I am facing directly towards a walkway, a mere foot away, where everyone comes and goes.

I hope to take pictures at some point, if I will not be shot doing so.

Suffice to say, however, that no one can pass by my desk without hearing me conduct interviews or, at the very least if I'm sitting doing nothing, being forced to catch the football I throw or the teasing remarks I toss at them.

And rather than wallow in despair at these inter-office developments, I have taken to harrassing our business department weenies right next to us as they conduct interviews with exceptionally boring bank executives.

I also have been throwing balls at the backs of the heads of our online staff and to the front reception desk females, most notably the beautiful Dianne, who loves kibitzing around with me in such merriment.

Or, if I can't do that, I simply tell them, "Bob's Yer Uncle."

And so I started wondering, 'Well, is Bob really Yer Uncle?" I have an uncle named Bob, so in my case, it's true: Bob IS Yer Uncle.

And me and my goofy friend, Homo Escapeons, whose real name is not Bob, say this to each other quite often.

But I wondered, statistically, if this common saying was really true.

In other words, does everyone have an uncle named Bob?

Being the inquisitive journalist I am, I set out to find the answer. And for the 5.8 fellow employees I surveyed, the majority had to admit that, yes, they did have an uncle named Bob.

I also recently asked this question in a blog post and of the few of you who responded to this serious query, I would say that yes, Bob's YER Uncle too.

My own Uncle Bob, in my experience, drinks like a fish and resembles an oak tree, about 6-feet and 3,000 pounds. He is bigger than life. If he sees this, I'm dead meat. I opted not to include a photo of him.

But the more I teased people by saying "Bob's Yer Uncle," the more I found out. There's a band named Bob's Yer Uncle, for example. Somewhere in the blogosphere is, in fact, a blog called Uncle Bob.

Having heard me flirt with her workmate Dianne about this important issue -- Dianne never catches the football when I throw it to her and when she threw it back to me recently she hit my boss in the head -- another front reception woman, Lynne, surprised me.

See, she also has duties in our newspaper library. So she went and fetched this from some obscure encyclopedia of modern culture or something or other...

"Bob's Your Uncle: Everything is perfect: c.p: from ca. 1890; slightly ob. 'You go and ask for the job -- and he remembers your name -- and Bob's your uncle.' 'Still going strong in Australia" (B.P., 1965).

So now, you're up to speed...and Bob's Yer Uncle.


  1. I have, or should I say HAD, an uncle called Bob.... he was married to me mum's sister..... he was a postman........ alas he snuffed it about 11 years ago on someones front door step, whilst delivering their post.... the woman heard the letterbox rattle but no letters fall on the mat in the hall, so she opened the door to see 'bob me uncle' slumped as dead as a roadkill badger on her front step.... the funny thing was he was still clutching her letters in his hand lol........ postie to the end :)

    RIP 'Bobs me uncle'


  2. Toasty:

    The mail must go through, after all, and Yer Uncle Bob sounds as committed as they come.

    That's a cap X you're using now.


  3. Ya dont miss a fing do ya LMFAO


  4. Toasty.

    Hell no. Well, sometimes I can be as dense as a piece of wood.

  5. Bob is not my uncle. Nor is he my grandfather or my cousin. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, I have no relative called Bob. Or Robert. Or Bobby/Bobbie. I do have an uncle generally referred to as Jock, which is a tad odd, although his real name is Charlie. I am inescapably reminded now of a Beatles song... "her name was McGill, and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy." How many names can one person have?! Anyway. The point is: Bob is not my uncle.

  6. Stace:

    How about a Bobby-Joe? Or a Billy-Bob? Do you have an uncle with the last name Bobbitt?

    All of these would apply.

    However, I think we can safely concede you're not a member of the Bob's Yer Uncle Club.

    We still love you.

    How about Aidan, the handsome young man? By the by, aren't you with him yet?

    (And I love that Beatles' song!!! I'm going to try to find it and post it on my blog!!!)

  7. Um, I don't have an uncle named Bob too.

    I did have an ex named Bobby. And a friend named robert. does that qualify?

  8. Menchie:

    Har Har Har! Well, if you ever called him Uncle Bobby or said Uncle when he tickled you, sure!

    I officially pronounce you a proud member of the Bob's Yer Uncle Club. Send your cheque to...

  9. Stace:

    Argggh...I couldn't remember which song those lyrics were from so spent more than an hour listening to Beatles songs...

    Not complaining, it was great...but I finally found it and knew as soon as I heard the song start...

    Anyway, it's up now. Have a great time with Aidan this weekend...

  10. LOL @uncle Bob!

    WW check out my latest post ;-)


  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. I had TWO Uncle Bobs and they both had the same Mother...

  13. I dont know any Bobs!

  14. oh my goodness what would i do without such informative posts!!! i had a great-uncle bob... does that count?
    as for the football throwing- are you hoping they'll give your partitions back if you do it enough?

  15. No Bobs here. Wish there was. Can you send one? Half would do too.

    BTW, in my sonnet, about that last line, the gold band meant gold ring. I suppose I should have explained.

  16. Actually I am over here now that other link won't work because of stupid stupid stupid dumbhead blogger!!!

  17. Keshi:

    So you have no Uncle Bob's then?

    Saw ur latest post. Hope to get back to comment, but ha ha ha ha!

    Imagine My Relief (Can I just call you Hymie or something?)

    Why would the Bobs Squared both have been given the same name by their mom? I think that's a separate post.

    Was one named Billy Bob and the other one Bobby Joe -- and they both decided on Bob for short?

    And how many different blogs, avatars, personas and locations are you going to insist on having?


    Welcome! Maybe there's some out there in the UK you could adopt?


    Yes, only a small percentage of the Blogosphere is intelligent enough (or insane enough) to be able to digest such comprehensive information.

    A Great Uncle Bob would put you in this exclusive company, according to the International Federation of Uncle Bobs.

    I would never stop throwing the footballs, regardless of my partition situation.

    It's too much fun.


    Well half a Bob would be a Bo (as in Bo Diddly). Do you have any Uncle Bo's? That would work.


    So, let's see -- now you're back to your original avatar but with your new name at yet another undisclosed location.

    You do get around...whoever you are.

  18. and now I am here as
    Donnicus Coppensia.
    I still had two Uncles named Bob so I WIN!!

  19. Nope, no Uncle Bobs here, great or otherwise. No Bos, no Billybobs, not even a Rocky Racoon...

  20. I asked me maties today if anyone had any uncle bobs.... non of them did, but rumour has it that Lisa who was not there today has a 'bob' :) cos she was seen and heard in the newsagent shop buying batteries for her 'bob'... I think it might be on of those 'Battery Operated Boyfriends' lol


  21. She-Wolf of the SS:

    Now THAT is a cool avatar, Mr. Solipsist Soliloquist.

    I think I've seen at least five different avatars of yours on four different blogs today, not including my own.

    Is the HE we once knew now dead and gone? Extinct? And now you're Donnicus Coppensia. Wouldn't it be Coppensicus?

    You win on the Bob's Yer Uncle front so far, but I see Marmite Toasty Warm has now expanded the discussion, so to speak.


    Well, hasn't New York ever had a mayor named Bob? How about a Broadway actor? Was Bob Newhart from The Big Apple?

    Throw me a bone here, Annie!


    Did I upset you, then? We're back to a small x...

    You have, with one hilarious comment, now blown this ridiculous post into the sexual stratosphere.

    I wondered if anybody might actually glob on to the "other" kind of Uncle Bob.

    So now I guess we have to expand this so that all women who have those kinds of "Bobs" can safely say so, thereby vastly increasing the truth of the statement, "Bob's Yer Uncle."

  22. :) little x or big X or XxX xXx its all good..... :) oh, and it would take so very much to upset me lol I dont upset easy.... read all me blob from the beginning and ya will probably see why :)

    Ok, first this post aint ridiculas......

    second, me post wasn't hilarious lol

    and third, if a ladies BOB was referred to as 'BOB's ya Uncle' it would NOT be right cos thats almost incestual....


  23. Toasty:

    Hey, I'm just teasin' ya about the x's...and I know you're not upset, just more kiddin' from me.

    This post IS innane, but so am I, so it follows. And your comment was hilarious, I think.

    And I suppose, on a technicality, we should not refer to those BOBs as Bob's Yer Uncle BOBs.

    Let's just call 'em BOBs, then, or THINGAMABOBS, or come up with your own name.


  24. I knew ya was kidding :) as was I lmfao..... funny, to funny :)

    In any future reference to BOB's I will hereby refer to them as Bobbles ;) cos dont some of them have bobbles inside, NOT that I would know LOL..... digging me own hole here *ha

    I cant even remember how I found your blob but Im glad I did LOL


  25. Toasty:

    You ARE a hoot. But yes, you ARE digging your own hole. Because we men now know that ALL women have their own BOBs.

    This is probably a subject that you, Marmite Toasty Warm, might want to blog (or in your terminology, Blob) about.

    As an interested observer, for example, I would want to know, well, how many women actually have their own BOBs, aside from your matie Lisa.

    I certainly know that my women friends and former potential maties have them...

    But now you have confused my tiny brain with your suggestion they should futurely be called Bobbles.

    Because, according to my online dictionary, these are the definitions for bobbles:

    bob·ble (bŏb'əl) Pronunciation Key
    v. bob·bled, bob·bling, bob·bles

    v. intr.
    To bob up and down.

    v. tr.
    To lose one's grip on (a ball, for example) momentarily.

    n. A mistake or blunder.

    [From bob1.]

    But there's also the word baubles, which are:

    bau·ble (bô'bəl) Pronunciation Key
    A small, showy ornament of little value; a trinket.

    Archaic: A mock scepter carried by a court jester.

    So, Toasty, what do you mean by Bobbles? Maybe it could be a court jester's mock scepter that bobs up and down, then?

    (**Not that you would know...HA!)

  26. Any-bod-y here,
    seen my two Uncle Bobs?
    Can you tell me where they've gone?
    I thought I saw them walkin' up over the hill
    With Abraham, Martin, and John.

  27. SS of the SS:

    What happened to your cowboy posing with the horse avatar?

    Or are you just moving back in time by the minute, closer towards your Homo Escapeons origins?

    Like...Back to the Future...

    However, maybe these are the effects of having two Bob's Yer Uncles, from the same mom...

    Maybe Abraham, Martin or John might be able to offer some perspective...

  28. Please help me..
    make me stop..
    my tiny brain is about to explode!!


  29. Donnorhea:

    This is an appropriate new name to go along with the hundreds of others you have morphed into today.

    They're all very imaginative, incredibly witty and worthy.

    When Ally gets home, ask her to slap you in the face. And then pick one of your new identities/avatars and be it.

    You're a poof, all right, with that new Cesarian-age avatar. Or were you trying to be Caligula?

  30. Ok, I always have pet names or stupid code words for many things in life including people lol me and me maties here are so intune with each other, one of us only has to say a certain word and we crease up cos its a code for someone or something, we have hundreds of words lol, which is great when among others that we dont wish for them to know what or who we are talking about lol and if ya read me blob long enough or back enough you might see some of me words LOL

    ok....... how can you speak for all blokes and say that YOU KNOW all woman have a bobble? aye aye? and how can you speak for all blokes about all woman and presume they all have a bobble in the second draw down in the bedside cabinet under the house improvement magazines besides the peppermints for night time indigestion? you cant possibly say or know that :) LMFAO....

    not that I would know either lol

    And bobble like the bobble hat cos, if the hat fits :) then wear it LOL

    No jesters lol

    LOL@you being the google king LMFAO


  31. Toasty:

    OK on your code words with your maties, I can't crack it...but I've had a quick zoom over your blob and I don't see any pix of you...

    I was just jesting, but I choose to believe that all women DO have BOB'S, cause their men don't do it for 'em or because they're in between men all the time, so to speak...

    But yeah, of the one per cent of all women who DO actually have 'em, that's where they'd be, just as you described...

    And o'course you wouldn't know...except it's a one-size-fits-all hat, isn't it?

    Carry on. (Geez, that just made me think about all those old Carry On Brits know how to laff)

  32. Bob Loblaw.

    Say it fast and repeat over and over again.

    Laugh and repeat.

  33. MJ, your Arrested Development references are completely lost on Winky Wankerpants. He hasn't watched TV since Bonanza was the number one show!

    Bob Loblaw is 45 and single!

    I'm takin' a break. I freaked my beak today!
    MAN what a ride!

  34. MJ:

    Very clever! I'll mark you down for an Uncle Blah Blah then!

    Horatio Half-wit (I mean SS):

    I'm still watchin' Hoss Cartwright and the gang in reruns. Wasn't there a Bob on that show?

  35. My grandfather had an Uncle Bob. I do hope you're using the saying bob's yer uncle in the right context? :)

  36. Lee:

    I think you might be reaching a bit there, three or four generations back, but hey, this is an all-inclusive club!

    And everything's above board in the Bob's Yer Uncle Society, never worry...

  37. I never did know where that expression came from or what it meant. Thank you for my lesson of the day. Je vais m'coucher moins niaiseuse 'a soir.

  38. Anna:

    "And now I will lay myself to sleep tonight with silly thoughts?" Or something?

  39. Close.

    I'll go to bed a little less stupid tonight.

  40. Anna:

    Nice try but no cigar, I guess...


If you choose to use anonymous to comment, it is only fair that I reserve the right to obliterate your comment from my blog.