The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

April 23, 2007



After several invites for supper over to the palatial abode of Mr. and Mrs. Homely Escapeons in the past several months, I finally accepted Sunday out of fear of death...or worse.

I go every once in a while at Mrs. Escapeons' insistence, if only to get a chance to hug her closely and to get a kiss, and to be jumped on by resident off-spring Ridley, a holy terror.

And to laugh and joke, of course, with the father and den mother of the household, Homely Escapeons himself, who I see every week or every other week at my place.

Mrs. Escapeons, looking resplendent on a cool but otherwise fine spring day and with recently transformed red hair (she's hot whatever colour, but forget I said that), accepted my hug.

And then she gave me hell for not being at their place since January 1.

She was later proven wrong, because I WAS at their place for a get-together with fellow bloggers Brian the Mennonite, Joyce of the Chronicles of Blunderview and Rey in February.

Still, I had not visited nearly as soon or as often as I should have. I must have been full of gas or something.

And that is a suitable segue into what occurred there over at least part of my several hours there on Sunday.

Mr. and Mrs. Homely Escapeons have a lovely young son, Ridley, who I am very proud to say calls me Uncle Chris.

He is the apple of Mrs. Escapeons' eye, and he and I kid all the time. I would be tempted to say he spits in Mr. Escapeons' eye, but that would be a falsehood.

He's a beautiful child and Mr. Escapeons is a fantastic father, as much as Mrs. Escapeons is every child's dream as a mother.

This is THE poster for a beautiful family, sincerely. Two unbelievable parents nurturing a strong young boy, and three other lovely kids in the picture.

You can only imagine.

But back to Sunday.

When it comes to kids and kidding and young boys and old boys who can't get over it and love that they refuse to grow up, what could be more fun than this?

Note the printing on Ridley's shirt.

Note Ridley putting some character hero, found in the garden after a long winter, being the first of several inanimate objects to test out the new toy.

First, I need to say that it was Mrs. Escapeons, not Mr., who broke down and bought this product for Ridley at the local store after scores of shoppers laughed as he laughed playing with it.

(Allie Baby, this one's on you)

OK, that revelation is out there.

Having said that, I had to focus on this because Mr. Escapeons did not want me to report that he spent the entire day drilling millions of holes in his deck to relieve the moisture within.

Anyway, the grape salad, the cheeseburgers, the barbecued farmer's sausage -- they were all fantastic.

Of course the Escapeons' only had Coke, instead of Pepsi, for my rye, but I can take it.

Still, here's a glimpse at parts of the rest of the afternoon...and if you've never had fun with a Whoopee Cushion, then a pox on you and go out and buy one and inject some fun into your life.

Ridley, like any normal young boy who has heard his own fart and laughed hysterically, poses for a picture of him having the power of all powers: the ability to make a similar sound on his own!

Homo Escapeons, who is not nearly as much a fan of bodily function sounds as Ridley or I are, but with his stupid eye protection glasses still on from drilling millions of unnecessary holes in his deck that he refused to let me blog about, plays along...kind of.

Almost, that is, as Ridley forces him to sit on the cushion. Ridley and I laugh. HE ponders his wasted day and sore back, or something.

However, I thought it was a little unfair when Ally Baby brought out some chips, a gigantic rye and COKE, grabbed my point-and-shoot camera and photographed me with my mouth full of chips.

Then, being the best buds for life that we are, soul brothers and saviours of the world and all that, me and Mr. Escapeons exchanged our lifelong show of respect for each other before supper.


  1. OK, where's the picture of you on the whoopie cushion?

    Nice shirt, by the way. ;-)

  2. Looks like you're all enjoying spring. Ridley is adorable. Do you know that I have never seen a whoopee cushion?

  3. Laurie:

    Been there, done that, a million times. I was trying to ingratiate Rid Man into the Real World of Maledom.

    I can send you the shirt...$199.00, plus tax, Canadian funds...

  4. Menchie:

    Oh, you don't know what you're missing! If you give me your address, I'll send you one...

  5. You are sending Menchie a whoopie cushion, but you are charging me an exorbitant sum for a used shirt? I see how I rate.

    (*Makes a pouty face and runs away*)

  6. Laurie:

    There was a problem with the decimal or the exchange rate or something like that there.

    I'll just send you this red shirt for $1.99 Canadian, which is about 2 cents American.

    But you have to pay postage.

    If Menchie actually wants a Whoopie Cushion, they only cost about $1.99 at a Canadian dollar store...

  7. The french translation for whoopee cushion leaves much to be desired. Just goes to show that some things just can't be translated.

    Loved the pictures, loved the story. It brought a smile to my face - especially seeing the giggly pictures of Ridley. Is there anything more heartwarming than a giggling child?

    Thanks for the smile.

  8. Anna:

    The smile is all that matters. Try to keep it on as long as you can, there really is nothing else needed.

  9. OK...heads up on the avatar debate... you have your new avatar right here.Either the gobful one or the rude gesture one.

    (There was a bus driver in London who had a whoopee cushion on his driver's seat.Passengers thought it was hilarious, but the Council requested that he remove it.Pah!)

  10. Awwww you guys have such a great mateship!!! What a sweet family those Escapeons are, and what a great friend you are WW!

    I remember being young... vaguely... to tell the truth I think I've blocked the whole nasty experience out of my conscious mind.

  11. Love those middle fingers. I think ya'll should both make that your signature.


    Lovely family, HE!!

    And my aren't you stunning, WW!!

  12. Fart ---> ***giggle***

    It is an amazing relationship you and HE have together, and im sure it's strictly platonic:). Just a big family together. Thats all you need in life, good friends good food, good drink and a few laughs...

    Its not computers, gadgets, new cars, or money... its people and simple moments that make it all worth while...

    Thanks for a sneak peak into your world:)

  13. OK I really need to know about the secret hole drilling - fess up and tell us what he's up to at once!

  14. The last picture is worth a thousand words!

    btw Aidan our relationship is more Plutonic than Platonic because WW loved that whoopee cushion even more than Ridley did..
    and he is 5!

    Ziggi, I am drilling holes in the deck in search of Oil Deposits or Buried Treasure..which I suppose is one and the same.
    Actually I told WW that I was insulating underneath the deck so that I could use in in the Winter..((ahem))
    he thought that was a good idea.

  15. Dinahmow:

    I like the rude gesture one, myself...and who could NOT laugh at a Whoopee Cushion?

    ...Or at least roll their eyes and smile and shake their head, like my mom, for example...


    Thanks, Girl...we seem to do OK. It's that one-fingered salute thing we do.

    And yes, my God, you're so old, how could you remember being young once...


    Isn't the blood rushing to your head by now in your avatar?

    That IS our signature. And yes, the HE family is marvellous.

    Me? Yep, I was stunning all the nearby birds and other wildlife into submissiveness...


    HE has responded to your comments elsewhere on this blog. Platonic, Bubonic, Harmonic, Rhapsodic...

    Yes, we get along just dandy, Mate.

    At least you giggle at farts...he's too snooty and high-falutin' for that stuff...


    My, I like that outfit...

    HE refused to let me blog about it, but I cannot tell a lie.

    He insists that his deck boards are too moist because there is no place for the moisture within to escape, so he drilled about one million holes to let that moisture escape.

    The real truth is that he put the boards too close together in the first place.

    And that he is so terrorized by little creatures such as mice and rabbits getting under there, he boarded everything off so now Houdini couldn't escape.

    He realized, after drilling the million holes, that he could have just run a saw along the length of each board to wide the space between them.

    Now, the truth is out there...

  16. That last photo should be your new avatar -- and HE's. Laughed out loud.

  17. You are preaching to the converted. I have a whoopee cushion in my home office. I keep it handy because you just never know when you're going to have the opportunity to use it.

    Mind a mosquito doesn't fly up those shorts, WW.

  18. you promise to send me one???

  19. Andrea:

    We actually HAD considered a joint blog a few weeks might work for that, if we do it.

    And just so you know, the avatar I'm using now is your WWcorrected version...thanks!


    You DA GIRL! I'm proud of you. (But I pity Mr. MJ).

    Mosquitoes know where not to fly, for they shall DIE.


    No, I'll send you one at a 1,000 per cent markup, plus courier expenses!

    I'm sure you can get one there -- they cost only a couple of dollars -- but if you can't find one, email me your mailing address and I'll try to send one along...

    As long as you promise to use it only for its intended purpose! (Once your hubby gets his hands on it, you'll never get it back and will be victimized every day).

  20. Yes, a joint WW-HE/HE-WW blog. You'd probably fight over whose name goes first.

    But I want both of you on the same blog so I can point and laff at the two of you at once.

    Oh the fun we'll have.

    Oh, and I want to be an honourary contributor.

  21. With an expense account.

  22. MJ:

    I'm way ahead of you. I originally proposed we call it the WHEW! Blog, but I was met with a blank stare, as I recall.

    Then I think HE revived the idea but I said I could barely keep up to my own blog and visit others, let alone take on a new one.

    The board will have to study this carefully. And you have just fired yourself by insisting on an expense account.

  23. How about if I trade the expense account for the keys to your liquor cabinet?

  24. I like wHEw but how about something like...

    'I'm With Stupid ->'
    'Mr.Facts & Mr.Fart Jokes'
    'Goober & Gadfly'
    'Two Wrongs Make It Right'
    'Smartypants & Fartypants'

    or you leave me no choice..

    'I Know You Are But What Am I?'

  25. MJ:

    Yeah, the liquor flows freely at our weekly board meetings, but you'll have to pay all of your own travel costs.

    You Wussy West-Coasters can afford it.

    Habitually Estranged:

    It would WheW!! for one thing.

    But the rest of those names, I must admit, are spectacular candidates.

    And if we used the one-fingered salute pic as our collective avatar, the "I'm with Stupid" arrow would point towards you.

    Not to overly tinker with your suggestions, but I'd suggest God and Gadfly...

    Plus, there would have to be a limit placed on the number of useless little boxes, labels and other elements in our joint blog, except for the little shark thingies.

    If this ever comes to pass, I will be very surprised...and likely go insane.

  26. Anonymous6:00 p.m.

    Awww looks like you had a great time together! Were you still on the V8 and Vodka?! lmao!


  27. Laura:

    Nope, by that time I was sipping on a rye and COKE, and I tease them about that because I like PEPSI, not Coke...

  28. Anonymous12:20 p.m.

    Oh,I am the other way around,as I prefer coke with my Malibu! lol!


  29. dude- i love the photos- what a fabulous depiction of a day that looks like it was a jol!

  30. Laura:

    Malibu...that's rum, I assume?


    What's jol? Jolly old time?


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