The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

February 13, 2007

As the World Turns



Strangely, or perhaps not, I know something about soap operas. Women in my life have, at times, been addicted to them. I don't know whether to feel embarrassed about that or not.

And seeing as, according to Homo Escapeons, this is a "women's issues blog," I felt it within my area of expertise and experience to laugh really hard and post on the topic.

I admit that I did, for a time, watch General Hospital.

My ex-wife watched it all the time. Taped it, even, so she could watch it when she got home. And so I found myself watching it too.

I was there when Luke and Laura broke up. And when both Luke and Laura found other lovers. And then Luke and Laura got back together again, about 29 times in each week.

And this went on for about 59 straight weeks.

I eventually figured out that for the last two minutes of every Friday show, the entire week's plot was boiled down and summarized. But my ex didn't care. She had to watch every minute.

And while I can't remember her name, I remember thinking this isn't so bad...there was a nurse on the show, redhead/brunette, who was super hot. So I'd just kinda watch her, innocently...

So what is it about soaps?

Aren't these basically about the worst actors on the planet?

Acting out the most devilish and non-functioning human beings ever in the most horribly written scripts ever known to personkind?

Aren't they kind of like those goofy romance novels, just put on TV? There are a bunch of middle-aged women in different coffee clutches at work that I see in the cafeteria.

Lately, I've been teasing them about soaps. It's quite the phenomenon. What's the attraction to them? I don't get it. But you, my dear fellow bloggers, are going to tell me.

I'm not discounting the possibility that the few men out here who actually read this blog watch soaps. I'm making no judgments whatsoever. But you females out there...

I guess I am assuming that soaps are mostly a female thing. So...

1. Do you watch soaps?
2. If so, which ones, and why?
3. If not, why not?
4. What are men missing out on?
5. What's the worst soap...and the best?

I can just hear that theme song from The Young and the Restless now...


  1. 1. No
    2. N/A
    3. Because they hold no mystery or appeal for me. If I want to watch the most devilish and non-functioning human beings ever in the most horribly written scripts ever known to personkind I will watch Faux News.
    4. Men and intelligent women are missing out on NOTHING.
    5. The worst soap is Irish Spring regular scent, because it makes my skin itch. The best is Dove for sensitive skin, because it makes my skin baby soft.

  2. Laurie:

    Hey, where IS everyone? Here's another Q & A:

    Are they:

    1. Offended
    2. Busy hyping themselves up for Valentine's Day
    3. Already celebrating Valentine's Day with their lovers and far too busy to be reading this drivel
    4. Watching their taped soaps

  3. 1. I seriously doubt it
    2. Probably
    3. If they are lucky (and it's not drivel)
    4. I hope not!

  4. Compared to getting lucky, it sure is drivel...or at least not something I'd be contemplating...

    But thanks for the sentiments, L...

  5. Well yeah, if getting lucky were an option, I'd be so outta here. (not that I don't heart you and all...)

  6. My wife watches Y&R ergo I watch Y& and I must say that that Sheila makes me so mad, poor Lauren is a wreck..Phyllis , Summer and Fen were kidnapped by Sheila who is disguised as Phyllis...If only Paul wouldn't have been so stupid to let Sheila escape ..Lauren should have killed her when she had the chance!
    Dru and Neil both drive me crazy and I'm glad that Dru is leaving the show in April and Ashley (Eileen Davidson) of course has jumped to Bold & Beautiful..but that is a sister soap and Sheila and Lauren cross over all the time so whoop dee frickin doo! I still don't know if Carmen is really dead now that sure looked like her at the courthouse...
    and I am glad that the old Lily (Christel Kahlil) is back she is so cute.
    Victor and Nicky ...OMG Jack is all of a sudden a good guy again I hope that John's ghost comes back that was awesome..

    oops what was the second question?

  7. Laurie:

    Was that a typo or did you just invent a new verb: heart?


    You woulda been the most perfect soap star. You're so over the top and bigger than life...

    Fantastic descriptive, though, of what those shows are all about...perfectly captured.


    Wait until I get photoshop...remember those pix I took of you with my painting, and the lampshade?


  8. Im young and restless alrite, and Im bold and beautiful alrite :) but I dun watch any soaps. Why not? Cos they r too fake.


  9. Haven't you ever heard that phrase? I heart you? That's right up there with I luv ya. Sheesh WW, you need to get out more.

  10. Keshi the Soap Star:

    OK, we'll be the judge of those kinds of complimentary things. OK, that took about .09 seconds. You're right.

    So I, as famous moneybags Hollywood producer WW of WW Productions, want to cast you as the star of your own soap!

    When can you audition?

  11. Laurie:

    Evidently...but then I didn't know what lol or rofl meant either, so cut me a break...will ya?

  12. HE:

    Have you started foreplay yet in anticipation?

    Before you do, make sure Allie sees this post and your comment, and you can fugetaboudit.

  13. Of course I will cut you a break and you can TMVM (thank me very much) later for it. ;-)

  14. Laurie:

    Well I would heart that very much. ;-)

  15. And I would heart that you hearted that very much.

    Now what's this about HE and foreplay? :-O

  16. Laurie:

    Well I'd be hearted that you'd be hearted that I'd be hearted...or something like that. Is that how they talk in Montana?

    Eww, a new emoticon thingy :-0

    I assume that's to symbolize, "I'm aghast," or similar.

    Well, HE is happily married to a lovely wifey. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

    He needs to work himself up to Stud Status (or die trying) so that he'll be able to...hmm, better stop.

    Why don't you go to his blog and ask him?

  17. I watch Coronation Street (from England) on CBC.


    Good writing (unlike American soaps), humour mixed with drama, campy at times, and most of the characters look like real people, i.e. not airbrushed bimbos.

    And at least one scene per episode takes place in a pub.

    Try it. Wash it down with a pint.

  18. That is indeed how we talk in Montana. We are deeply hearting people here in the frigid, buried under a foot and a half of snow country.

    I would go ask HE how his preparations for Stud Status were progressing, but I don't want to disturb him and his beloved on VD eve.

    And you are right, :-O is the universal emoticon for shock or surprise.

  19. Hate soaps. I catch some parts of Filipino soap operas during dinner when some of the household members watch too. I like making fun of the cheesy dialogue.

    One time there was a scene with a doctor examining a woman. The woman gets up from the examining table, gets her crutch, goes over to the doctor and says:

    "Doctor, is there a chance I can walk again?"

    I'm like, what the heck did she just do??? Glide???!!! It's just so dumb.

    Sex in the City and House are more my style.

  20. Ok, I stay up late to find you blogging about the Young and the Restless!!?

    I love that show, mind you!

    Happy Valentine's Day, WW!!!

  21. I have closely followed soaps in the past, but only one at a time. When I was quite young, it was General Hospital for awhile (by the way, the redhead - are you talking about Bobby? Cute and petite, big brown eyes and great tits? Then it was The Young and the Restless (Victor and Ashley were my favourites). Then, Days of Our Lives - remember when Marlena was possessed by the devil? And then, the one I watched for the longest period of time and would continue to watch if I had a dvd recorder and not just a dvd player: Guiding Light.

    Why I've watched them? Umm, I don't know. I guess they're entertaining on some level and a little escape from reality. Nothing wrong with that.

  22. 1. I used to watch soaps, when I was a kid, therefore the same emotional age as the characters on the shows.

    2. The Doctors (ended when I was 4), Days of Our Lives, Santa Barbara, Another World, and when I do a client visit, she watches Y&R. UGH!!

    3. I HATEHATEHATE the way Y&R makes teenage "boys" wear pancake makeup and horrible disgusting hairstyles that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy's redneck child. PLUS! They write these "pseudo-storylines" about technology and how kids are making videos to send by email, and Blah Blah Blah! Sick.

    4. As far as I know the soap phenom hits men AND women (*pointing to HE*) equally, and it's just as bad for both.
    5. The BEST soap I used to watch was Santa Barbara. It always had me in stitches, and the characters were so damn good. I've seen some of the actors on other soaps now, and some in movies (notably was Kelly Capwell, played by Robin Wright-Penn).

    The WORST soap? "Passions." Without a doubt.

  23. 1. No and 3. too stupid.
    However, my daughters and I watch series if we are lucky to be home together, such as : Grounded for life, Third rock from the sun, Charmed, That seventies show. You know any of these ?

  24. Anonymous6:38 p.m.

    I dont watch any soaps. I really cant stand them at all.


  25. MJ:

    The only thing I know about Coronation Street is that fantastic, signature theme song.

    I don't think I could take (or should I say stay awake for) the suspense.

    Just kidding. I know a lot of people like it.

    The one show I love from the UK that's like a comedy soap -- of course I can't remember its name -- features an older couple. She's the dominating but ditzy over-organizer boss lady who wears the most outrageous hats like the queen, he's the submissive "Yes dear" type.

    It's a blast.


    I'll tell HE you were asking about it...then I'll laugh at him.


    Yeah, but isn't that one of the things that people LIKE about soaps, that they're so overdramatized?


    Yep, I secretly tape them all and watch them late at night while blogging, and couldn't contain myself any longer...

    Glad you're a soap fan! And Happy V Day to you too!!! ;-)


    Yup, Bobby, that's her, pretty much the way you described her (it would be suicide for me to describe her the same way, however).

    As for the rest of your soap-shifting dabbling, I can't play along...GH was the only one.

    Yes, an escape from reality and something to follow every day, like a chapter in a book?

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.


    Client visits...homecare? Social work? Regardless, Y & R? I bet you watch it though!

    Can't say for sure, but I dispute that soaps are watched by equal numbers of men and women. But what do I know? And if it's true, who'd a thunk it?

    I've admitted to it...HE's admitted to it...there was no intent to disparage females...only to poke fun.

    Besides that, the soaps at least know they're pretend and fictitious. I'd say they're a lot better than the pap on Entertainment Tonight and shows like that...



    I know Third Rock from the Sun and That Seventies Show (I liked that last one particularly).

    But I really don't watch a lot of TV...

  26. it's me! Hellooo!
    I have to be quick while the gates are open and I have sneaked in!
    1. Nope
    2. none (is Shameless a soap? I watch that)
    3. I can't sit still enough to watch TV - I have to be doing at least 3 things at a time.
    4. can't remeber what the question was
    5. without a doubt it must have been American and been either Dallas or the otherone the same.


  27. Ziggi:

    Great to see you poof in and then poof out so quick...I can't remember what ANY of the questions were.

  28. i watch one south african soap called "isidingo" (which means the need). this south african one i see maybe once a week, and they live a lot more in reality than any of the other crap i've heard! i can't stand any of the others and i don't watch them. i mean really- are their scripts written by a group of drunken teenage girls? people being possessed, hypnotised, cloned, murdered, kidnapped, coming back to life, living ten years in a dream, marrying the same guy over and over and then marrying his father and brothers as well- how do any of these characters stay sane? no one even seems to know who's kids are whose! i truly do not understand the "attraction"!

  29. Angel:

    I think we know where you stand, though...I don't know what the attraction is, but millions are.

  30. I used to watch those. Not any ore. Now I seldom watch the Idiot box.

    News maybe, but that too I read online or, I love the newspaper.


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