The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

January 21, 2007

All the President's (Wo)men?


It just occurred to me 2008, there's every chance that the next leader of the world's greatest superpower is either going to be a woman or a black man.

Either would be firsts in the U.S. of A.

And I, for one, am ecstatic about the possibilities as perhaps the worst American president ever, George W., stumbles and bumbles his way as a lame duck through his final two years.

With the Democrats' upswing in the recent Congressional elections and Bush shooting himself in the foot yet again on Iraq, there seems little doubt that the Dems will win in 2008.

And the two most high-profile Democratic candidates and favourites have now declared: Hilary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama.

If the Republicans even run for president, Sen. John McCain seems to be the fave.


Now many things could change between now and 2008.

If the U.S. suffers another major terrorist attack, for example, the Reflublicans, seen by most Americans as the party to go to war with, might gain strength.

But all things being equal, I believe most people inside and outside America believe a Democrat will win in 2008.

If it's Clinton, she'd be the first female president (she could exile Bill to Iran as ambassador).

If Obama wins, he'd be the first black person to live in the White House (ooh, can you imagine the jokes about that...).

Personally, I'm rejoicing at either prospect and I'm thinking that after Bush, Homer Simpson could win the presidency and do a better job than Dubya, so either of these two would be brilliant.

While I personally am rooting for Obama, it should be noted there are many other candidates out there. I've included some of them below.

As part of an informal Blogger poll, please indicate who you would vote for and why. You've heard of exit polls. These are entrance polls, two years in advance.

So Obama is A, Clinton is B and McCain is C.

The rest are labelled as follows. If you'd like another candidate to enter the race, please assign your own letter to them as you vote. Please note also that Dubya is not an option.

He will have somehow already managed to serve the maximum two terms.


D. A baboon baby

E. Marvin the Martian

F. An absurdly goofy blogger teasing his sister many moons ago

G. Pepe LePew

H. Osama Bin Laden

I. Homo Escapeons, president of the Burt Reynolds Centrefold ClubFINAL POLL UPDATE (12) AS OF 8 P.M. CST TUESDAY, JAN. 23:

**Homo Escapeons: 4 (Keshi, MJ, KJ, Taz)

Hillary Rodham Clinton: 4 (Brian, Anna, Ms. Val, Laurie)

Barack Obama: 3 (WW, Menchie, Dinahmow)

Baby Baboon: 3 (Aidan, Stace, Laura)

Marvin the Martian: 2 (Lee, Homo Escapeons)

Within Without: 2 (Awaiting, Ziggi)

Russ Feingold: 1 (Tidalgrrrl)

Pepe LePew: 1 (Andrea)

John McCain: 0

**Votes cast under anonymous by an unidentifiable blogger -- and most particularly by people with the initials HE -- have been and will be disqualified.

By Order of the President and executed by the U.S. Voting Commission


  1. Anonymous8:09 p.m.

    I'd vote B, but I'm afraid that she'd be assassinated within the first month, or at least as quick it would take for the CIA to do it.

  2. I'm thinking marvin the martian because I love him and have a folder with him on it. The first thing hilary would do: make cigars illegal.

  3. I say HE yeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! :)


  4. I don't know much about Obama, but have great admiration for Clinton. If I were an American citizen, I'm pretty sure I would vote for her.

    Quite honestly though, I always feel a little uncomfortable leaving comments about political posts. I feel like a political imbecile.

  5. Sing along with me...

    "I, I, I, I"
    Canta y no llores
    Porque cantando se alegran
    Cieltio lindo los corazones

  6. Brian:

    Ya think? I saw a news piece that said she originally worked for the Reflubicans on Barry Goldwater's campaign.


    Hooray, someone who knows what she's talking about! He's my hero, he truly is.


    Oh, geez, now HE's going to have something to crow about...


    This is NOT a political post. OK, it is, kind of. Never consider yourself an imbecile.

    Compared to the North American voting electorate en masse, you're an Einstein.


  7. MJ:

    Translation please, senora (or is that senorita?)

  8. I'd like to vote for candidate D George W Bush. i assumed it was him.

  9. Oh fer gawd's sake.

    My vote's on HomoWhatsHisFace...

    as in...

    ay ay ay ay! (Spanish)

    "I, I, I, I" (English)

    The song is Cielito Lindo, a traditional Hispanic folk song.

    Never mind.

    Just put me down for HE.

  10. I'm going with the baboon baby because I believe in consistency. I think the American public will feel more comfortable with somebody who reminds them so strongly of their former beloved Dubya.

  11. Aidan:

    As I said, Dubya is not eligible. Unless you tell me otherwise, your vote is for D, the baboon.


    Sigh...HE it is. Why don't you just translate though? Anna, you're welcome to step in here...

  12. Stace:

    Gotcha, girl. But shouldn't there be some rule that spouses cannot vote as a collective?

  13. Anonymous11:49 p.m.

    I'm torn between Clinton and Obama. But if I really had to choose, you can put me down for Obama. Don't ask me for an intelligent argument for him...I'm going by gut feel on this one.

    Plus of course I read Oprah's interview...ha ha!

  14. Anonymous9:29 a.m.

    I choose B...Clinton. I'd like to see a woman president in my lifetime.

    But then, if McCain won, he'd be the first Arizonan in the White House.

  15. Menchie:

    OK, your vote is recorded. I think he's incredibly well-spoken and sensible.

    Ms. Val:

    OK, Hillary's your vote.

    Was I expecting too much, thinking other bloggers would make a bigger deal of that very real possibility that either a woman or an African American would be president by 08?

  16. I say you and He can be your vice president.

  17. I can't believe our choices.

    1. Obama - What has he done, besides give people a warm, fuzzy feeling reminiscent of JFK?

    2. Hillary - If anything will mobilize the Repugnican base to vote for the GOP more than her, I have yet to see it. I've never understood the pure vitriol spasmed her way, but I'm sure it has something to do with competency and power and feminism.

    3. John McCain? Please. This man has rolled over and played dead for the BushCorp for years. This is the man that watched himself get Roverered and ruined with calls to his constituency about a "black" baby. They insult his family and abuse him with personal assaults (from his OWN PARTY!) for years. Then, he stands up and asks for more abuse? The C**ksucking this man has done is embarrassing. What a joke.

    Give me a better stable of candidates. I want Russ Feingold.

  18. Since neither Obama or Hilary have any 'real' chance of winning I am going to go with McCain. Hilary should have secured Obama as a running mate one year ago.

    Sadly all we are going to hear about for the next two years is blowjobgate as Karl Rove exhausts his remaining hours on Earth satisfying his Faustian deal with Satan and dredging up the ghost of Monica Lewinsky to ruin Hilary's chances. I wish it were otherwise but the Republicans excel at character assassination...the Dems are too politically correct to the play that dirty.
    Pathetic but true.

  19. Awaiting:

    NOW you're talking! Although HE might be my version of Al Gore's forgettable VP candidate from 2000...


    Thanks for rolling in, so to speak...

    I get you on Hillary, and OK on McCain, and we haven't seen any substance from Obama, conceded...

    Still, the possibilities are there. I guess there are other big names besides McCain's who could step forward in plenty o' time...

    But this is the big list right now. Doesn't McCain get any brownie points for being MIA and a war hero?

    Although supporting Bush's Iraq policy right now can't be helping him...

    I'm putting you down for Feingold, then. Has he made noises that he's considering it?


    What? I would have thought Monica Lewinsky would have given Hillary the sympathy vote, plus she'll get a whole bunch of women out to vote.

    And Barack will get out the black and Latino vote, I would have thought. Anyway, we'll see.

    See my comments to Tidalgrrrl about McCain. No? And who the hell's going to listen to Karl Rove now anyway? OK, your vote goes to McCain.

  20. ww, you can't assume the dems will win. at least i can't.

    my vote goes to he. he is intelligent and daring. that's enough for me after 8 years of stupid and stuck.

    i realize some of your readers may not agree with any these candidates, or like the democrats for that matter. to them i say please, can we all just pray for wisdom and honor? all politics are local, so people-power on a local level is the most important political party. but i also think leaders set the tone: the macho bullying and inflexibility that has been the usa has been very sad and very disruptive.

    and, hey!, speaking of local efforts, what's canada doing to make the world a better place?

  21. KJ:

    Not assuming anything.

    But when I started writing the post, it was going to be just about Hillary and Barack as the two big Dem candidates so far.

    And the media is playing them up big-time today, addressing, more or less, the question I posed.

    I expanded it into a poll, including other ridiculous characters, just for a hoot.

    Anyone reading this doesn't have to like the dems or the republicans or this candidate or that, and they can add their own.

    And while I understand what you're saying about local politics, the big focus is on the federal level.

    It was Bush and his inner circle, not Joe Slobotnik from Grand Forks, North Dakota, who opted to invade Iraq.

    What's Canada going to do?

    Well, what we've BEEN doing is being Bush's lapdog.

    We've got our own right-wing government now, a minority, and it's been hammered over the environment and all kinds of things.

    There are no Pierre Elliot Trudeaus on the political scene here any more, Canadian leaders who stood up and said what was on their minds, which was mostly what was on our minds.

    We are not in the same league, globally, as the Germans, French, British, Russians, Americans, etc.

    We are, comparatively, a bit player.

    All we've ever really offered in the past is our good conscience, the U.N., peacekeeping forces, etc., but we don't appear to even have much of that left as we move closer to what the U.S. is (politically, I mean; we've always been very similar as a people in many ways).

    It has to start, I think, with us getting back our standback, independent identity, and that has to start on the federal political scene.

  22. I may be totally wrong on this, but I think the American public isn't ready for neither a female nor a black president. However, if they absolutely HAD to choose a white woman or a black man, I think they'd end up choosing a white woman. I just hope I haven't offended too many Americans with this opinion.

    And here's my attempt at a translation. I'm not fluent in Spanish, but I think this is it:

    Sing and don't cry
    Because singing brings happiness
    and then something about beautiful hearts

  23. Anna:

    Con Quistador femme de Pepe LePew, you may be right about America not being ready for either.

    It will be hugely interesting seeing how this all pans out...fascinating politics, really.

    Thanks for the Spanish translation attempt. I think MJ's song was from the Frito Banditos commercial.

    I used to sing it all the time, but I don't think it ever attracted any beautiful hearts.

  24. Anonymous6:46 p.m.

    Any one of your nominees would be a vast improvement over what we currently have in office.

    That being said, I vote for b. Hilary Clinton. I don't think the American public will vote her in if she wins the nomination, but I think she'd be terrific if elected.

  25. Actually if Al Gore decides to run HE WOULD WIN the Nomination and the Presidency!

    Don't laugh:having now had his charisma bypass reversed and having emerged as a Champion of the Environment ontop of inventing the Internet he would easily defeat any other Dem...and it is very bad luck to be the front runner for the Dems because they cannibalize their leaders...sorry Hilary.

  26. Laurie:

    Hillary it is!

    I note CNN ran a poll today (don't know the details of who was polled, etc.) but she was by far in the lead with 34 per cent of support, with Obama at 15 or something.

    Homely Entrophen:

    C'mon. Gore would be gored. In the poll above, he was last among 5 or 6 Dems they named with 8 per cent.

    But who knows? If he did enter the race, maybe the Dems would remember that Gore almost won in 00 and would run to him to run away from having to choose between Hillary and Barack.

    So what...are you saying you want to change your vote to Gore from McCain? Has Gore said one way or the other what his plans are?

  27. Anonymous7:40 p.m.

    Woohoo, my candidate is winning (so far). Can I vote twice? C'mon WW, it worked in Florida!

  28. Laurie:

    Talk to Jeb Bush. He might be able to arrange it for a price.

    However, my voting system, while far less technologically advanced, is far more reliable.

    I thinks you'll just have to takes your chances. Remember, Homo Escapeons is just a heart throb with a brilliant philosophical mind and a brain filled with useless trivia, he's not a real candidate.

    Doh! Maybe that means he'll win!

  29. Anonymous8:22 p.m.

    I think it would take quite a bit of money for Jeb to arrange for a Democrat to win. Maybe we can take up a collection?

    By the way, my son made it safely to Denver, despite the wind, blowing snow and ice on the roads. I'm very relieved and thankful he has a safe new vehicle!

  30. Laurie:

    I don't think "Jeb" (what a name) has any say in the outcome or Bush 41 or 43, for that matter.

    They'll all head back to Texas and their oilfields. I'd love to see Dubya somehow end up in Iraq, tho.

    Glad Wolf made it home safe and sound. I could sure use a new Honda Element. Did you buy two?

  31. Anonymous8:42 p.m.

    I like the idea of Dubya ending up in Iraq. When I was young I asked my dad why the president didn't have to go to Viet Nam to fight. He told me that he figured the war would be a lot shorter if he did.

    I didn't buy 2 Elements, though I think I will replace my current car with one sometime in the future. I'm nice, I'll share with you. :)

  32. Can I vote know we don't really play fair in US elections, so here's another for WW!

  33. Laurie:

    That'd be quite the commute...

    Awaiting, MJ:

    Was it you two who rigged the 2000 vote in Florida? One vote! Each!

  34. Gore is holding out a bit to see how Hillary holds out against a full GOP character assassination but he is already at 10% and Hillary is only at 30%, Barack at 18%.Should Hillary and Barack join forces we have ourselves a contender.

    Today in Iraq insurgents killed over 80 civilians bombing a marketplace...the American involvement in this confrontation is all but lost and nobody else in the world, including the 'rich' Arab Nations who have the most at stake, seem able to stand in the way of it's disintegration...
    Saudi Arabia cannot afford for fundamentalists to make any gains in their pursuit of a new Caliphate that would stretch across the Middle East and swallow Israel.

    Nothing has changed from the first strike at Saddam, Iraq is destined to divide into 3 countries each aligning themselves with others that share their particular brand of Islam. Who really cares if there is one more 'STAN' country?
    Ask Borat.

    This is an Islamic civil war and the States would excuse itself were it not for the vast reserves of Oil. Let's not forget what this is, was, and always has been.

    The Bush administration should have let the businessmen acquire all of the assets and left the political system to submit to the terrorists of the global marketplace...

    I cannot understand why Cheney and Rove ever thought that inside every Iraqi is an American trying to get out...

    You know what screw this, there is no point in trying to rationalize this anymore....
    I am casting a vote for MARVIN the Martian to use his 'P34 Earth Modulator' and simply blasting the entire region into a hole about 1 mile deep which would allow the Mediterranean Sea to meet with the Indian Ocean.

    Enough is enough!
    The HELL with it!

  35. HE:

    I thought you did a pretty good job of rationalizing it, actually, although many may not agree.

    It's incredibly volatile in the Middle East, I think that's the obvious and best word for it, and I think the presidential race will also be volatile.

    OK, you're down for Marvin the Martian. No more wishy-washy changes, weisenheimer.

    Voting is almost concluded...might let it go one more day if I don't have another post to do...

  36. Pepe le Pew! Barring that I'll go with our own Donn. Anything to unseat Dubya! (Interestingly, both my best boss and my worst boss -- and I've had a few in my day -- were both women. Has Hillary got what it takes to be Best Boss I wonder?)

  37. Andrea:

    As the chief electoral officer, I must accept your first answer, which is Pepe Le Pew.

    Besides, another vote for HE would tie him with Hillary. And we can't have that. I'd never hear the end of it.

  38. Anonymous12:04 a.m.

    Oh dear! It's like the Terrible Dessert pie or trifle.Or rhum baba. Or ice crream...
    I'm going to copy this to my political pal here;he'll laugh his socks off.
    But...sobering thought.If Hillary gets in, what chance she'd be a puppet for Bill?
    No, I reckon we need a clean sweep. Go with Obama, for lots of reasons, not least that a permanent suntan "up over"will be good for similar change "down under"
    Mind you, that Burt Reynolds Centrfold chappy is worth consideration...
    Good post, WW

  39. F - he's gorgeous

  40. mj´s bigger than me so I´ll go along with her!
    Note this is from Kaz and definitely not Taz!

  41. Anonymous7:37 a.m.

    My Word! This Homo Escapemechanisms fellow certainly has my vote. Rarely, if ever, does one witness such eloquence and forthright subjectivity at the expense of all credulity.
    That being said, his willingness to throw his argument out the window alongside of the bathwater shows an astounding lack of judgement but must be regarded as a formidable display of chutzpah that should be rewarded.
    HE's perfect for the job!

    Haveat Emptor

  42. Dinahmow:

    Your vote is recorded, Ma'am. (I'd think Hillary and her group would keep Bill out of the picture, don't you?)


    Isn't he though? ;-)

    Kaz (MJ):

    Now wait a minute. Isn't this commonly called vote-rigging? Those political insiders (like MJ) going out and recruiting new people to cast their ballot?

    Oh, wait...the real politicians do this all the time! Your vote is recorded, Kaz, thanks for visiting.

    Haveat Emptor: it's (H)aveat Emptor, huh, sent anonymously.

    Just coincidence those same initials, HE, are owned by the person you are voting for?

    This democratic process is getting more suspicious all the time. But hey, good argument! You're in!

  43. Anonymous10:53 a.m.

    Am I too late to vote?
    I just wanted to say that Haveat Emptor is absolutely spot on mate!
    Crikey that HE bloke deserves my vote too. I'm off to have a lash at his blog.

    Happenstance Escalation

  44. Anonymous11:12 a.m.

    Well I don't rightly know what to say about your insinuations?
    Why you horrible little man, whatever gave you the impression that foul play was afoot.

    I do declare that Heathcliff Evermore may have come to rely on the kindness of strangers from time to time through no fault of his own.
    Good Day to you Sir!
    Hannibelle Evenknockers

  45. HE in all his various forms:

    It's the president speaking.

    Due to the excellent sleuthing abilities of my Homeland Security Department, we have caught you in the act of vote-rigging, apparently to get yourself elected to replace me in November 2008.

    In a move of blind faith, we recorded Haveat Emptor's first vote for Homo Escapeons.

    That was poor judgment that ballot has now been withdrawn. All subsequent votes cast by anonymous and professing to bear a name with the initials HE will hereby not be counted.

  46. Anonymous12:59 p.m.

    Woah! No fair! If you can strike one of the Homogenised Eclairs from the menu/ballot, then we should all be allowed another vote.Just like in Florida.
    (This comment thread's more fun than reading the tissues)

  47. HE x 5:

    That is not an appropriate response.

    Under sub-section 396 of the Polling for America Act, we had the power to remove you entirely from the ballot and summarily execute you or exhile you to Abu Gharib.

    As it is, so as not to create civil unrest, we are keeping you on the ballot.

    However, this polling exercise will be concluded at 8 p.m. CST tonight.


    I see the electorate is restless. However, to preserve the integrity of the process, another Florida is impossible.

    You will be permitted to change your vote, should you wish. But no one has more than one vote.

    We have since fired the imbecile who didn't immediately spot the first anonymous voting irregularity.

  48. Drat!
    Ay Carumba!
    Zoot Alors!
    Ok I am outta here...nyeh!

  49. Anonymous2:51 p.m.

    Beyonce Knowles. She is black, she is a woman and she knows nothing about running a government.

  50. Anonymous2:51 p.m.

    Beyonce Knowles, she is black, she is a woman and she can sing.

  51. Anonymous2:52 p.m.

    Beyonce Knowles. She is black, She is a woman and she has a big booty.

  52. Anonymous2:53 p.m.

    Beyonce Knowles. She is black, she is a woman and she is pretty.

  53. Anonymous2:54 p.m.

    Beyonce Knowles. She is black, she is a woman. She has nice fake hair.

  54. Anonymous2:55 p.m.

    I think 5 votes is enough.

  55. HE:

    That's more like it.

    Anonymous Beyonce Knowles supporter:

    I think we will have to enforce sub-section 521B of the Act and now disallow any unregistered, unidentifiable anonymous voters.

    But thanks for ballooning my hit count.

  56. I didn't do those!
    Who is BK?

  57. 60..there now I was responsible for approximately half of your comments...except for the Beyonce Knowles..that wasn't me..honest.

  58. HA HA This is probably driving you crazy isn't it?

  59. NEENER!!!

    Ok I have to go make supper for Alice Neener.

  60. Anonymous5:45 p.m.

    Its all too funny!
    I say the baboon due to his natural intelligence! lol!!!


  61. HE:

    I don't know who BK is or was. I didn't think it was you. As the original rules stated, I'm willing to put that person -- if they identify themselves and haven't already voted -- down as casting one vote for Beyonce.

    In the meantime, you are a wanker.

    I hope whatever it was you made for Allie was good though. 'Cause she's my most huggable goil.

  62. Laura:

    Thank God you ID'd yourself! The baboon it is!

  63. Beyonce, the B Herself!9:24 p.m.


    Beyonce Knowles rules!!!!

  64. Anonymous1:07 a.m.

    i think h.e. gets my vote! from what little i know about american politics, i think the likelihood of a woman in the whitehouse is very slim...

  65. Anonymous1:08 a.m.

    oooh oooh... what if the republicans rig another seeming attack to make themselves popular again? isn't that the kind of thing conspiracy theorists spout?

  66. i.m.small1:01 p.m.


    Apparently the Christians think
    It´s fun to make up lies
    About a man like Kerry--wink
    Sophisticated eyes.

    Rather, the sophistry of these
    As winking miss the mark:
    For those who issue calumnies
    Sit lonely in the dark.

    It´s hard to think Christ would approve
    The making baseless slander,
    For some have said God´s light is love
    While these in darkness wander.

    Malfeasance and maliciousness,
    Distortions unto lying
    Perhaps belonged to Christ, I guess,
    So far as God is dying--

    Yet I would rather die forever
    And never rise again,
    Than live with slanderers so clever,
    Anointed Christian men.

    If Kerry´s slanderers restored
    In new life join the flocks
    Of heaven´s eternals--dead or bored,
    I´ll stay inside the box.


If you choose to use anonymous to comment, it is only fair that I reserve the right to obliterate your comment from my blog.