The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

October 4, 2006




But first, we need to set the stage and describe the so-called "average North American Family" pictured above.

This family consisted of a former Playboy Playmate and a so-called rock star from Blink 182 who looks more like Pee Wee Herman on a bad hair day than anything else. And doncha just love all those tats?

Anyway, this once-in-a-lifetime couple are now split, apparently (who knows the fate of those kids and how they'll ever grow up "normal").

And today's story, which follows, is likely on Enterpainment Tonight and whatever other sleaze TV shows are out there. By the time you read this, if you do, it will be old news.

In our news meeting today (I work at a daily newspaper), someone actually said, "This will be the most read story in the entire newspaper Thursday." And the sad thing is, that person is probably right.

SAD, I said.

The only laughable thing about this is that Paris Hilton apparently got punched out. And as far as I'm concerned, that's a good thing. But these two kittens were scratching each other over THIS loser?

Paris Hilton vs. Shanna Moakler: Round 1
The Associated Press

Wednesday, October 4, 2006; 1:27 PM
LOS ANGELES -- Can Travis Barker really make women go this crazy? His ex-wife, Shanna Moakler, was involved in a nightclub fracas with Paris Hilton early Wednesday morning.
Barker, the drummer for Blink-182, filed for divorce in August from Moakler, a former beauty queen now appearing on "Dancing With the Stars." In September, Barker was apparently videotaped kissing Hilton, who needs no introduction.
Then Hilton encountered Moakler at the Hyde club in Hollywood last night. The following re-enactment is based on reports by police, publicists for both women, but unfortunately no pugilistic experts:
Hilton says Moakler walked up to her, "used the most vile of language" and then punched her in her jaw.
Moakler contends she exchanged mere profanities with Hilton, at which point Hilton's ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos emerged from the entourage, bent Moakler's wrists, poured a drink on her and shoved her down some stairs.
Hilton, 25, and Moakler, 31, both filed police reports alleging battery. Officer Karen Smith said police took pictures of Moakler and Hilton at the station, and that police planned to speak with witnesses at the club as part of their investigation.
Moakler and the tattooed punk rocker Barker were an unlikely pair when they married in 2004, documenting their lavish wedding and life on the MTV reality show "Meet the Barkers." They had two children.

Moakler also has a 7-year-old daughter with boxer Oscar De La Hoya.

All I can say is...ARGHHH!!! Why are we consuming this pap and caring about it when there's so many other things that don't get nearly the attention they deserve from us, which is just the way our so-called leaders want it?

VIDEO: DON'T GIVE UP by Peter Gabriel


  1. Human nature is designed to idolise and emulate the seemingly successful of our race. This was originally for breeding purposes, allowing an individual to choose the mate most likely to produce strong and successful offspring. Now the instinct has been buried under layers of civilisation so that now we only read about it. It obviously plays no very real part in the breeding process anymore.

  2. Hi Stace:

    "Seemingly" successful is a key description. When did we decide -- or when did the mass media decide -- that Paris Hilton was successful in anything other than being born into a super rich family and, as a result solely of that, have a penchant for hob-nobbing with anyone of significance?

    And even if she had an iota of talent in anything, why would we put her on the pedestal we do?

    I get and agree with your explanation of our instincts and the need/want to breed with a strong mate.

    Why wouldn't women or men of real distinction, intelligence and achievement be the ones in the news instead of some rich bit** tabloid whore like her? Or the other two?

    Sorry...not trying to go off the deep end on this, but I just don't get the values here.

  3. It's an interesting subject. It seems we idolise celebrities purely because they ARE celebrities, yet they're only celebrities because we idolise them.

    That said, there are many high profile people who do have a genuine talent worthy of admiration or emulation: musicians, sportspeople, and so forth. It is vaguely understandable to apply our mate-seeking instict to these people.

    But Paris Hilton... all she did was get born to a certain set of parents, get drunk frequently, and sleep with lots of people.

  4. Mr.Tattoo looks frikkin crazy.

    Paris is the party girl who either gets booked by Police or gets punched by someone. Arent we surprised :)


  5. tell me, how do you guys in the states even find the energy to switch the tv on?!

    I find even the discovery channel boring nowadays...

  6. Ghost Particle: I'm in Australia, and the television in my house has no aerial. We can watch DVD's, but not TV. I love it! A TV-free household. Can't avoid the crap, though, it screams at me from every billboard and magazine stand.

  7. I have never heard the name shanna moakler before but even if i'd not read on I would assume just from the name that she was trashy.I think I must be some kind of bitch.Read something somewhere where Paris reckoned that she's only been with 2 men - what? - that day perhaps. She has been with a well known Australian for a start.

  8. What is this crap? And where's my daily dose of royal gossip?! :)

  9. Puleeeze don't get me started on Paris, of all pseudo-people! I think if any so-called celebrity stands for everything that is wrong in our society (consumerism, selfishness, snobbishness, thinking-you-are-the-center-of-the-universe, egotism, brazen self-promotion (on what, I wonder), and lack of introspection, it is Paris.

  10. Ok I missed a parenthesis there, here it is ). But you got my blood boiling!

  11. Stace beat me too it.... It is an evolutionary responce mimicing successful behaviour, just as other monkeys copied the stone hammer. We copy (financialy) successful actions of celebrities...

    Great minds think a like, or fools never differ. I am not sure which applies.

    The world is in peril, 1000s of children starve to death on a daily basis, wars over who has the right god. Yet we read stories paris hilton, sport and new gadgets, when people dont even have running water.. It makes me sad.

  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  13. Deleted previous comment as i made less sense than usual.

    I love having a TV and advertising free home.... the best descision we ever made not to plug the aerial in. It is fantastic for relationships Stace and i have to communicate, and enjoy each others company.

    Tv is a blight on humanity, slowly making the population dumber, it destroys conversation, it is a major distraction from the things which truly matter in life (family etc). Think i am getting old.:)

  14. Stace:

    I agree completely.

    They're "celebrities" only because we watch things like Entertainment Tonight and buy magazines to find out what they're doing.

    If we stopped doing that, those celebrities would stop being celebrities.

    Even with people who truly are admirable, we seem to want to find something wrong with them.


    What? Isn't that guy the man of your dreams?


    First, as much as I love our friends in the U.S., this is Canada, at least where this guy sits and thinks and lives.

    The only good thing on TV any more are the humour-oriented news shows (Colbert Report, etc.), BBC News and PBS and its documentaries.


    NO TV'S!!! How do you guys do it? And what are you going to do when you have kids?


    Oooohhhh...a Paris trasher/basher! And you weren't terribly kind to the playmate either.

    A well-known Australian...hmmm...I'm going to have to start watching Entertainment Tonight, I guess...


    Crap?? This is the world's new nourishment, girl. We'll see what we can stir up from the Royals...


    Yeah, but do you like her?

    Aidan (& Stace)

    Are you two related to the Leakey family? Oh,'re not related yet.

    I think you ARE getting old.

  15. I'd better clarify that - when I say well known - I mean a guy who was a contestant on the original series of Australian Idol -haha. His name is Rob Mills and it was very much splashed all over the newspapers at the time. A few weeks back he appeared on a music quiz show here and over the closing credits, what was he singing?...I love Paris in the springtime...... He made fun of the whole thing. I couldn't think of anything worse for a woman than being known for a lack of standards - what has that girl done to herself.

  16. Lee:

    Argghhh!!! Here comes a rant. Sorry.

    That whole American Idol, Australian Idol, Canadian Idol thing drives me nuts!

    If it's not bad enough that the media conglomerates/TV weenies force-feed us the likes of Paris Hilton ad-nauseum, they create these TV shows that feature your average Joe or Jane trying to BE AND BECOME just like them!

    And for the most part, they've got these totally rude judges to embarrass them over and over again, whether they've got a lot of talent or absolutely none.

    It's all about stardom, about leap-frogging your way out of your boring life into instant celebrity.

    Escaping the reality and being numbed into becoming idiot box automatons without a clue.

    Yeesh. I'd better go take a pill or something.

  17. LOL @keshirooni! Luv it :)

    he's the man of my dreams? ROFL! Prolly the man of my nightmarish dreams.


  18. nice to see your comments on my blog. please come back often.

    now, as for paris hilton, i give up. i'd seen her a couple of times on letterman and she said she was a quiet person, that all this hollywood stuff was just an act. oh well.

    as for me, why do i care about brad and angelina? what aren't i routing for them?!


  19. i do love that song, and the tv program featured in the video was also a favourite of mine!
    as for paris... i give up!

  20. You girls are all just jealous!

    We live in a clelebrity culture because a tangible human reference point is understandable to the average person. Forget string theory, Middle East politics, Darfur, Congressional Pages, picking on someone is a lot more inviting. we can take out our frustrations on somebody who is getting ahead...either because of genetics and cosmetic surgery.

    Paris keeps insisting that she left home with nothing and has made all of her own money. If it is true it is a remarkable achievement but then again...

    Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
    H. L. Mencken

  21. Kookaburra Keshi:

    Actually, I quite think he suits you. He's a good-looking fellow, if you're into art.

    I've placed a call to his agent on your behalf. Expect a telegram or email from him to ask you out.


    ? "What aren't I routing for them?"

    Is that: "Why aren't I rooting for them?" Just askin'

    I will visit often, for sure.


    Both you and KJ have said you give up on Paris. Where is your faith in humanity?


    There are maybe 5 people on the planet who might have a clue as to what string theory is.

    I am not one of them.

    In fact, I would venture you're the ONLY person on the planet who knows what you mean.

    Nonetheless, in fairness to our American friends, I think Mencken's quote needs to be altered to "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the (global) public."

  22. WTF! I'd kill that agent if he ever calls me.



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