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A beautiful, innocent boy with little awareness of the outside world, struggling a bit in school, concerned with just having fun -- just the way it should be for any eight-or-10-year-old just figuring out what life's all about.
But in the span of what seems to me as if it was about 10 seconds, he has grown into this...a 14-year-old who now is into girlfriends, who is now almost as tall as me...
...Whose voice is changing and is getting near as deep as mine, who is weary about hugging and kissing me any more but who is still willing to let me hug him, whose shoulders are getting wider...
...Who has a zillion friends and is a year away from high school, who is exploring his interests in singing and art and creativity, who is mobile and more independent and whose body is changing at a mile a minute...
And now, inevitably, it has come to this:
And I had TOLD him about this. I WARNED him. He doesn't live with me full-time, so I said to him, as I and he could see the peach fuzz growing beneath his nose and above his lip, do NOT shave before you talk to me and I can show you how.
Because once you START to shave, you won't be able to stop. You'll be doing this for the rest of your life. But what does he do? He shaves. And he shaves over a zit, and it doesn't look that great. But he recovers. Thankfully, with no permanent emotional or physical scarring.
So on the left is my son's face, after he has shaved, apparently no worse for wear.
On the right is my face, after a day's unshaven growth. I'm sure he figures that he has arrived, as a man.
I figure he has just gotten himself into a lifelong activity that is little more than a pain in the ass. Not an unnecessary pain in the ass, and not without its rewards, but still a pain.
Like father like son, I guess.
In my 13-year-old wisdom, I told one of my school friends she ought to shave her legs. She blames me to this day for her super-hairy pins!
ReplyDeleteFrom my point of view, shaving is completely unnecessary until somebody starts complaining. Eg:
ReplyDeleteStace to Aidan: "Your face is all scratchy!"
Aidan to Stace: "Your legs are all prickly!"
Bibi:
ReplyDeleteWELCOME! Had a quick gander at your blog, I'll be back there asap, but thanks for droppin' by.
What a gorgeous smile...
I'm with your friend on this one, hate to say, Bibi...curse growth and maturity before its time!
Why rush these things and get past that innocence and blissful unawareness before it's really necessary?
Loved your comment and your 13-year-old wisdom.
Stace:
Hmmm....seems to me you've got the upper hand there, girlie, as all women do in such regards...
And even if you don't, you're gonna win anyway, right?
Open this up to a forum on "Stubble or Shaven: Which is Sexier?" My vote is on a couple of days growth. To hell with shaving everyday.
ReplyDeleteMJ:
ReplyDeleteAnd so you aren't among the apparent majority of females who don't want their faces (or other parts) to feel like sandpaper?
WW, what a cute little boy and what a handsome young man! Of course he has to shave! He's competing with other 14-yr-olds. To not shave would be to admit that he is not yet a man, and we can't have that...Enjoy him while he is still this age!
ReplyDeleteI love this --and relate to it a little too much! :)
ReplyDeletePS Bibi is a brilliant writer, and, to make it topical, the cousin of my almost-14 year old son's girlfriend's mother.
He is a strapping young lad and well he should be since he consumes his weight in Shake N Baked Chicken at every opportunity.
ReplyDeleteHe has always been a courteous and gentle soul with a great laugh to boot. Isn't it fun/interesting/nerve wracking/rewarding to watch your boy come of age?
Rest assured, He will go far in Life..he has had a great role model..
hey, men think they've got it tough having to shave their face -though come to think of it -that would be fairly off to have to shave your face everyday or else end up resembling Grizzly Adams. I shave my legs every day - unnecessary but just got in the silly habit of it. That was trivia for the day - as is the fact that there is a women in this town who needs to shave - unbelievable - full on beard going on.NOTE: it's not me. haha.
ReplyDeleteMJ:
ReplyDeleteI see no one so far has taken you up on your suggestion that this post become an open forum on What's Sexier: Stubble or Shaven.
(Technically, you never specified the parameters there; we'll assume you mean faces, legs and armpits).
Personally, I like it when a lady friend asks me to shave her as a show of affection...
Carm:
Yes, he is both a boy and a man, isn't he?? My point was, why do it before you HAVE TO?
I know, I know...it's not whether he needs to, it's that he wants to start becoming a man...
Andrea:
I figure a lot of us can relate. And that's quite the roundabout connection you have to Bibi...
Homo Eraserhead:
Yeah, I can't figure out how he can pack that much food into that slim body.
It IS cool watching him do this, right in front of my very eyes.
Lee:
Yes, we men are tragically saddled with so many hardships, this among them, all to please the women we desire.
Or just because having a beard can be so damn itchy and the hair gets in your mouth all the time...
That's some amazing trivia, thank you very much. I too know of a woman who has to shave...sad...
WW: Excuse my arriving late.
ReplyDeleteI mean mens faces. Leave the stubble on, fellas! A bit of rough, please!
stubble is sexxxxxaaayyy ;-)
ReplyDeleteIm lucky I dun have to shave/wax my legs often cos Im not an overly hairy girl LOL! I have the right amount of hair in the right places :)
Ur son looks like a real cutey!
Keshi.
btw Im bakk!!!
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
Reading this, I couldn't help but to think of the impending 'transformation' of my children. To be able to witness them getting older is a joy and an experience that I cherish like I cherish no other.
ReplyDeleteMJ/Keshi:
ReplyDeleteOK, two votes for stubble. But this is a very unscientific survey with such a low response rate...
Welcome back, Keshi.
Awaiting:
Yeah, it's always amazing to watch them grow...but I'm astounded by how fast my guy has just exploded this past year, physically and emotionally.
My daughter has always seemed to do that gradually and steadily and now she's a young woman.
My son was a goof, a kid, a prankster, immature, etc., and then BOOM! Here he is, like Clark Kent going into the phone booth and emerging as Superman.
Amazing.
mmmm, I rather like your unshaven chin, very alluring ;o)
ReplyDeleteZiggi has spoken! Thank you, Ziggi! Another vote for the allure of the stubble.
ReplyDeleteheh heh...
ReplyDeletelookin at my son's peach fuzz i hope he waits a bit before he does his own thing!
i honestly didn't realise shaving was as much a chore for men as it is for women!
ok within without, it's time i visited you. i've been reading your comments to some of my favorite people and have just read your post about your son. there's a great book called "get out of my life but first can you drive me and cheryl to the mall?" or something like that. it's very comforting for parents of teenagers.
ReplyDeletei'll be back if you don't mind.
:)
Ziggi:
ReplyDeleteThanks, I can use all the compliments I can get. Did you note the grey?
OK, that's three votes for stubble, none for clean-shaven. Going once, going twice...
MJ:
We already counted YOUR vote. But your enthusiasm is duly noted.
Angel:
Just don't put any ideas in Damien's mind...like teasing him about his peach fuzz!
And as I think I've said elsewhere on this post, you don't know the HALF of the trouble men have.
(Snicker snicker).
It's a woman's world, I say.
KJ:
Well, you're so welcome to be here and thanks for visiting. I've seen you around too.
But I note neither you nor Angel cast a vote in the stubble/shaven controversy.
My life IS that book, from both my son and my daughter (she's 18). Exactly.
Get out of my life, Dad, I won't kiss you on the lips any more but...
Can you make me supper now?
Can you drive me here? There?
Can I use your car? And not pay for the gas?
Can you give me some money to go to a movie?
Can I invite some friends over for pizza and to play video games?
Can you help me with my homework?
Can you sign me up for singing lessons?
I sometimes whine about it, but you know what? It's enabling and supporting. I'll get it back.
And please, you are more than welcome back. I'll visit you soon.
Why not toss in my useless commentary?
ReplyDeleteGet him a dvd of "Miller's Crossing." Jon Polito (the bald gangster with the Ronald Colman mustache) gives a wonderful discourse on shaving - honest!
And if he's eating that much, maybe get him checked for worms? I did the same for my son, and the local vet still sends me Christmas cards . . .
Okay, it's late and I'm hallucinating now . . .
ty :)
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
Well as I am late and already a lot has been said, all I can say is
ReplyDeleteHug him for me, will you?
I'm with mj - I like it rough.
ReplyDeleteAnd your boy looks like a fine boy who will grow to be a fine man.
Right on, Anna! Another coup for the stubble side!
ReplyDeleteAnna (and MJ)
ReplyDeleteAll right, all right already. It's 4-0, so it's unanimous. No one has voted for clean-shaven.
Now does this mean I'm immediately going to start growing a beard back? Nope.
Although, winter is approaching...and facial warmth may become a priority.