The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

June 23, 2007

Life in my parking lot

I WANT TO ASSURE YOU, I AM NOT THE MS. CRAVITTS OF THE BLOGWORLD.

I don't stand by the curtains, peering out my window to spy on what everyone else is doing and, thus, make myself the Nosey Parker of my apartment complex.

However, my computer is right next to a window. I usually keep that window open for the fresh air and to hear the birds sing.

And that means I hear everything else that is going on in my parking lot. And in a strange way, a parking lot is a bit of a microcosm of life itself.

First, here's a pictorial update on a woman I've told you about before.

I'm now convinced she is actually a millionaire tin can tycoon who moved here from China and wakes up every day laughing at how wasteful we are.

She goes into the dumpsters and recycle bins -- even in the dead of winter -- to collect all the beer cans and other items our disposable society casts away.







On another parking lot peeve, my car got broken into last weekend. A $5 bill that my daughter had left there in full view was not taken and neither was anything else that I can tell.


The punk thief went through my glove compartment and left everything, including my drivers' registration and insurance, strewn about.


I couldn't understand why it wasn't taken because a big criminal ploy now is identity theft.


But a fellow apartment dweller approached me and told me he caught the guy in my car and chased him off, maybe that's why nothing was stolen.


ANOTHER misfortune of living about 20 feet away from a parking lot used by hundreds of people every day is that I'm subject to the vagaries of innane late-night drunken stupidity.

But I'm also at the mercy of people with car security systems who have no idea how to operate them. This morning, the woman below came out to her fancy car and set off her own alarm.

HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
This went on for 10 minutes before she finally figured out how to shut it off.
Don't they give people instructions on these things? I've never had a security system.
I wonder when they'll invent one of those little push-button thingies that would allow me to blow up their car.



Finally, and this has nothing to do with parking lots and I am just rambling, my computer apparently wanted a divorce or something this week.


After barely more than a year together, Cecilia, as I lovingly call her, was non-responsive when I, ahem, tried to turn her on.


She woke up one morning on startup with this message...


I have no idea what a DCOM Service Process Launcher is, but if you can read the message, I had only 44 seconds to act and to revive my relationship with Cece.

As suggested by a fellow blogger who knows more about female computers than I ever will, after several attempts at trying to caress Cecilia and find out why she wanted to leave me, I took drastic action.

I found the system restore button. I pressed it, firmly but gently, before the 44 seconds elapsed.

Ever since then, Cecilia has been doing pretty much everything I asked.

Don't you wish life was just like that?

25 comments:

  1. all computers are male - the OM in DCOM stands for Obviously Male - the DC is too rude for me to even contemplate. It's probably just gay if you've been lulled into thinking it's female, still got male wiring tho (you know 1,2,1,2,1,2,1 . . .)which is why it does inexplicable things without warning and then pretends it's too busy to do as you ask.

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  2. Ziggi:

    Well YOU'RE a wickedy witch today, aren't you? Ouch! Are you saying my computer is actually Cecil?

    If you're right about the gender of my computer, I would guess the DC stands for Dis Computer.

    If you're not, I could cast out my own guess at an acronym, but I think I'd have to run away...

    Your comments about male wiring are duly noted...we can be ignorant simpletons at times.

    But you love us anyway...

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  3. Hoo -boy! I think I may have outworn "that acronym" and then several more.
    I have my repaired computer.I can read blogs, including my own.But I cannot access/get into/activate/whatever my own site.
    So for those of you who read this...normal service will resume soon.Unless I drop-kick this stupid DC into touch permanently!
    Oh yes...sorry about all the idiots in your parking lot!And thanks for allowing me to vent here!

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  4. I am so thrilled to be updated on the ubiquitous Mz Bin Laden. Once again I am intrigued by your inference that her oriental sensibilities are overwhelmed by our occidental wastefulness.

    Your fascination with dumpster diving is reaching critical mass and some sort of intervention may soon be at hand.

    Your insensitive, archaic, chauvenistic, act of labelling your computer 'Cecilia' has left me gobsmacked and shaken me to my very politically corrected soul!

    The implication that 'she' was being unresponsive to your 'needs' and in a state of cyber PMS left you a mere 44 seconds to correct the situation.

    You and I both know that in the rw the possibility of a man getting an access denied message followed by a 44 second window to figure out what the hell he did or said wrong is unthinkable.

    Anyway, setting aside my socially required indignation, you go on to say that once you had properly pressed Cecilia's ON button that 'she' "has been doing pretty much everything I asked", is a hilariously misguided attempt to cash in on the VISA (if like were like that) ads.

    See how I sidestepped the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

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  5. I'm glad that you and Cecelia are back on good terms again. I hate the thought of you being "without". ;-)

    By the way, I love the Bruce Cockburn music video on your blog right now. He's really good.

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  6. Dinahmow:

    No, vent away, be my guest! I've had this computer for a little more than a year...I guess love is a fleeting thing...

    Homely Escape:

    I'm glad you are fascinated by my fascination. I saw her again today.

    She had a surgeon's mask on, apparently so she could filter out the carcinogens that the rest of us breathe or that must emanate from the garbage bins.

    I think I detected a smile...

    You are so far-gone on the politically correct moron grid that you are a lost soul.

    We name boats and many other things as females. There is no such thing as Father Nature, only Mother Nature.

    The whole world revolves around men, but the entire real world is all about females.

    So yeah, she's Cecilia, my most intimate electronic window to the world. Why wouldn't she be?

    I think it shows cunning and lustful intelligence that I was able to solve the problem in 44 seconds.

    That simply stopped her from leaving me. I have had many subsequent hours wooing her, and now everything is on the up and up, so to speak.

    I didn't get the Visa ads reference, nor the 800-pound gorilla mention...

    All I know is she seems to be content now...all they need is undevoted attention...

    Laurie:

    I never want to be "without," for sure...couldn't endure that for long, no matter what form...

    Cockburn is an amazing artist. This song is one of his latest. I've given up on my previous music vid provider...

    Glad you like the song...

    ;-)

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  7. Bastards breaking into your car. Hope it is easy enough to repair. My car got broken intof when i was living in Footscray a rough part of Melbourne.

    They broke in and stole six screw drivers which they used to steal the car next to mine, as described by the locking mech on the ground in the park.

    The stupidest thing was i wasnt angry about the break in, i was actually feeling rejected they only broke into mine so they could steal a better car....

    Wasn't my S**t box good enough!!!

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  8. Hi WW, I enjoyed reading your post. One must have stronge nerves to tolerate all the noise (and the burglary) that often accompagnies life on a parking lot.
    A restore button : yes, I want that in real life too :-)

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  9. Aidan:

    They didn't damage my car at all when they broke in. In fact, I wonder if my daughter left the car unlocked...

    It's a sense of invasion. If I caught the punk, I would come very close to killing him. Seriously.

    Hildie:

    Ha Ha! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I hope you don't mind that I do.

    I think we all need restoration at different times in our lives. I do hope you get yours. :-)

    (Just have to find someone to press the right buttons)

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  10. "...lustful intelligence..."

    Oh how that made me laugh! I'll have to remember that one for furture reference!

    I'm happy that you and yours are once again on speaking terms and your window to the world is alive and well.

    Sorry about your car getting broken into. I know too well that sense of personal violation. We were broken into in a church parking lot on Easter Sunday. Theif snatched one daughter's ipod and another's disabled parking placard. I was not pleased. Glad the didn't take anything of value from you, other than your sense of security.

    Oh wait...that is valuable.

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  11. I wonder if the lady would come attack you with bags of cans if she knew you had been taking her photo? Better still -what if secretly she reads your blog in anticipation of reading about herself ;).

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  12. so the lady with the cans is still there. am soooo curious about her.

    good you didn't lose anything with the car break-in.

    Cecelia -- it's my sister's name too. and i've never met a more contrary person...except my daughter, i think. No wonder you were having problems. :P

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  13. I think some of the people hangin' out in your parking lot might make me go postal.

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  14. Pam:

    Ha Ha! There's every other kind of intelligence...why not lustful intelligence?

    It IS most definitely a violation that goes deep. When my house was broken into many years ago, it was much worse...

    Lee:

    Hey, yeah! Maybe she comes by so often to see pictures of herself on the Web! Somehow, I doubt that...:-)

    Menchie:

    Yes, the woman can collector is a fascination to me. And are you saying I should rename my computer?

    Enid, maybe? Harriet?

    Anna:

    Oh, they're not all that bad. It's a wide-ranging group, young and old, and we harmonize enough. :-)

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  15. I just whack my computer and HE has no option other than to turn on!

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  16. Gautami:

    I guess you're in the Ziggi camp then that all computers are male? Or are computers owned by females of the male gender?

    See, if I was to do that with Cecilia, well, I'd be up on charges of some kind...

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  17. Anonymous9:45 p.m.

    Hey, while searching for widgets for my blog, I stumbled upon www.widgetmate.com and wow! I found what I wanted. A cool news widget. My blog is now showing latest news with title, description and images. Took just few minutes to add. Awesome!

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  18. Cecilia, you're breakin' my heart, you're shakin' my confidence daily! If you don't know that song, you're not as old as you say you are! :)

    Speaking of cars being broken into - Aidan's car once got broken into, all they took was his tool set so they could steal the car parked beside his!

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  19. me again...please tell me a little about that picture on your banner. Is it local? Did you take the photo? Are you in the photo? See, I'm curious.

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  20. Stace:

    Of course I know that song, pretty much word by word...so I guess I am as old as I say I am!

    Dinahmow:

    I had this pic emailed to me from a fellow blogger. As I recall, it's a shot from somewhere in Australia.

    I don't know if it's enhanced or whatever, but if I'm in it, it musta been in my dreams...

    If I'm in it

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  21. good u didnt lose anything WW.


    Keshi.

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  22. Y'know...it's too bad you don't use your stalker skills to catch thieves who break into your car. Woops!!

    /grin

    I'm glad you are back "in" with Cecilia. She must not like a "man with a slow hand..." since you had to act within 44 seconds to win her back. In my world 44 seconds would be a dealbreaker. LOL

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  23. The voyeur part of me really enjoyed the photos! And you're so right about how "a parking lot is a bit of a microcosm of life itself." The interactions always amaze me. It's terrible that some creep broke into your car -- I'm glad that he got chased off before doing more damage. Cecelia is a very cool name for a computer. I should name mine something. I name plants -- I just got 'Henry' and 'Gatsby' a few days ago. I hope you have a really good weekend.
    :)

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  24. Keshi:

    Thanks. All I lost was my sense of invincibility, indestructibility and invulnerability to crime...

    Shelley:

    A-ha! So you DO think I'm Mrs. Cravitts! But good thought, except that was 3:30 a.m. or so.

    There ARE limits!

    And just to clear up any confusion, the 44 seconds was merely the time limit on keeping her with me.

    I was much more attentive and went much more slowly and lovingly with her after that...:-)

    Clare:

    You've got a hidden voyeur within you, huh? Parking lots are neat things, for sure.

    I thought Cecilia worked. And I hope Gatsby and Henry are doing fine. What are they?

    It's the Canada Day long weekend up here, this is THE big weekend when summer REALLY kicks off.

    You have a good weekend too. :-)

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  25. Anonymous4:35 p.m.

    Bravo, magnificent idea

    ReplyDelete

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