The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

March 12, 2007

WW's WAR ON WHITEHEADS

"NO PROBLEM," SHE SAID.
"YOU CAN DO IT YOURSELF."

I have somewhat oily skin and, apparently, inadequate face-cleaning habits. I get whiteheads. I don't want whiteheads. A former girlfriend said I just needed all the right tools.

To take care of the job myself.

HERE ARE THE TOOLS.



HERE IS MY SELF. SOB...





31 comments:

  1. MJ:

    Oh, wasn't I supposed to use that too?

    That's in the, ahem, "background" that is the remainder of my kitchen table, which I neglected to clean, apparently...

    Maybe I'll try it now though!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have you been squeezing your face -tch tch. What's with all that stuff? Who uses all that stuff? :). Were you trying to tell us something the other day when you mentioned about wearing lipstick?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank gawd you don't have hemmoroids!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm just kind of wondering what that impliment of torture next to the rice steamer looking unit is? Do I even dare to ask?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Whoa! Your poor face...i didn't know there were tools to clean up whiteheads.

    Nose strips would be safer next time. IF you're still willing to try something on your face, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ugh - too much information!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lee:

    No, I haven't been squeezing my face, at least not with my fingers.

    And in truth, I haven't dressed in lipstick and high heels since a Halloween costume party who knows how long ago, the year after I dressed up as Kermit the Frog.

    There's this metal zit extractor thingie that's part of all that equipment...it's the thing that bruised up my face...

    HE:

    I was leaving my hemorroids post for next week, but maybe I'll move it up the schedule...

    Laurie:

    Peekaboo! I see you! (where's the rest of your face?)

    The "rice-steamer looking unit? You mean the white thing in the middle with the lavendar plastic thing on top?

    Well that's the face mister facial spa steamer thingie. I put water in there, turn it on and it emits steam on my face, to open up the pores.

    Then, so the DIY instructions instructed, I could take the M366 Metal Whitehead Destroyer Instrument, which resembles one of those dentists' picks, and press it against my face to force out the whiteheads.

    I think I pressed too hard...

    The white device next to it, which does indeed somewhat resemble a you-know-what owned by some women, is a battery-operated skin defoliator, with patented indestructible cleansing hairs, to make my destroyed face all nice and shiny and clean.

    (My face is mostly healed now)

    Menchie:

    What the heck are nose strips?

    No way I was going to pay for my own facials!

    Ziggi:

    Well, where were you to simply use your wand to get rid of my whiteheads anyway with your wand?

    ReplyDelete
  8. WW, the whole photo showed my nose, and I didn't want to scare anyone...

    Thanks for the explanation. What with the lipstick and heels, I was really starting to wonder. ;-)

    I need a facial, but I think I'll leave it to the experts (giggles and runs away).

    ReplyDelete
  9. I get a huge charge out of what people will pay for cosmetic products, though I shouldn't because the money we spend here in the 'have' countries could wipe out poverty and starvation in the rest of the world. As someone who uses soap, shampoo, mascara and a blowdrier, and hasn't been inside a hair salon since the last millenium, I have saved a bundle over the years, though since I hit the dread 40s I've started to use moisturizer, too. Didrooglie's beauty advice: regular cardio exercise, 8 hours of sleep a night and a minimum of processed foods, though wine and chocolate are necessary food groups in themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ow!!! I get nasty whiteheads and pimples and all sorts of awful face-things... but that's because I just can't stop eating junk food :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous8:02 p.m.

    more water will help to clean up skin, cut down on the junk food, life is good....

    i had a product which was essentially methylated spirits, stung like hell but cleaned the skin up pretty quickly though...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nose strips are the things females put on their nose to remove white heads and black heads. You wet your nose, stick it on, wait until it completely dries up and then rip it off. You'll see the undesirables right on the strip afterwards. Fascinating to look at actually.

    Less expensive too.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nature gave me great skin. I have never needed anything like that.

    Looking at all those tools I can safely thank my DNA!

    Best of luck, buddy!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Laurie:

    I'd bet you have a beautiful nose...even if you happened to snort out of it now and again.

    I only bring the lipstick and high heels when I get bored...

    And I'm an expert at facials...can't you tell? (*Giggles and follows*)

    Andrea:

    Thank you, doctor. Those are good tips, even though I likely have no hope of ever following them...

    (I haven't been to a hair salon since the last millenium either)

    Stace:

    You and me both, Ozzie girl!

    Aidan:

    I figure I'm just going to use acid of some sort...

    Menchie:

    Wow! Sounds like fun! I think I'll try it!

    Gautami:

    Yeah, it looks like you've got gorgeous skin...thanks for the luck. I think I'll need it...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Actually I got a less expensive, easily available option for you. Mix olive oil with either salt(it will hurt a while) or sugar powder(it won't). Use that as a face scrub. Wash it after massaging for a few minutes. Less than 5 minutes. Wipe it clean not rubbing too hard. It works wonders really. Oily skin or not. In three days you can see the difference.

    You can google "101 uses of olive oil" if you do not believe me.

    If it still does not work, then you can change...err..your name!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Actually - what has worked for my chemotherapy-induced blemishes (which are terrible, fyi) is a tea-tree/chamomile blemish stick I got from Desert Sun @ Trader Joes for about 5 bucks. At first it stung a bit, but it cleared up and calmed down my skin in about a week.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Gautami:

    So you want me to rub salt in the wound, then...

    Would that be olive oil, virgin olive oil, extra virgin olive oil, or extra extra virgin olive oil?

    Where's Nigella when I need her?

    And what would I scrub with? Steel wool?

    And so if it doesn't work, I should change my...name because no one will ever be able to recognize me again?

    ;-)

    Shelley:

    Chemotherapy?

    Thanks for the tip, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  18. tch, tch, Men!

    Scrubbing means take the paste of olive oil...any...salt or sugar. You rub it in with your fingers with soft touch. If not ask h.e. to do it for you. That's what friends are for.(You tell him I said so!). Wah it in cold water and wipe it clean with a soft towel. You will love your skin.

    It will work. Give it a try. You would have the ingredients at home.

    START TODAY! For next three days....

    ReplyDelete
  19. too much information indeed....
    i can't offer a bit of help or interest in this one, ww....
    :(

    ReplyDelete
  20. Gautami:

    Ewww...I certainly could not ask HE to do that...blech. Can you do it instead?

    KJ:

    I don't know that I was asking for help...or forcing anyone to have any interest. No need to be glum about it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can if you send me return tickets...

    Do I start packing my bags?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Gautami:

    Eww, I'm going to have to save up for that...I wouldn't be packing my bags yet, Delhi-Winnipeg return would be a whole buncha cash...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Eeeks! Your poor handsome face!

    Next time you consider something like this, would you please consult the women in your life first. I hope you're all healed up now.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anna:

    I did consult! At least with a woman who was in my life...and look what happened.

    Ever since then, I've been goin' around playing the Phantom of the Opera...

    ReplyDelete
  25. I can negotiate. What about one way ticket?

    My bags are packed, ready to go...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Gautami Girl:

    A one-way ticket? To Mars? That would be a lot of rupees and dollars, girl...

    I don't remember saying you could negotiate, however...

    ReplyDelete
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