Cards Never Sent

OK, I admit it.

Just like some people go and stock up on chicken breasts, ground beef and other various and sundry grocery items at their local buy-in-bulk store, I buy greeting cards en masse.

There are, probably, several reasons for this.

I don't often go to buy cards.

But when I do -- whether it's for a woman I have a romantic interest in, for my kids, for my family, for a friend's anniversary -- I always search for the funny ones.

The ones that say as much about me and my sense of crooked humour as about them.

Rarely will I buy a mushy, serious card. Although sometimes I have to and when I realize I must, I do, and can do a more than adequate job at that.

It's just that while people I love and who love me know I am actually mushy and serious about my feelings for them, they also know I'm not likely to play that up...

Because I'm a tease at heart...and I like to have fun.

In some circumstances, though, fun isn't the No. 1 thing. So I often find myself buying a serious card, plus a funny card, then I'll find another funny card, then another serious card.

And I like them all. And all would be appropriate.

And then I get it in my tiny male brain: "Hey, I'll just buy them all so I don't have to do this again next year!"

So this is what ends up happening:

I present someone with two or three different cards, plus whatever gift or gifts I've bought for them, and I write in each card the message appropriate for that card.

But inevitably, I end up with left-over cards that I shove into my kitchen drawer or somewhere else...and then I promptly forget about them. For a long time.

And then I go out and buy more cards. And more cards.

This week, I found two of those cards that I bought quite a while ago, figuring to give them to different people in my life at that time.

Those people are no longer in my life, at least not in the same way.

So what do I do with these cards now?

And another...

So I guess I'm wondering:

Am I the only person on the planet who does this and who has reams of unsigned, ungiven cards sitting in some packed-away box or hiding underneath all my water utility bills in a far-flung drawer?

Cards intended for a love long gone, or a 16th birthday missed, or a 10th anniversary forgotten about, or a get well card that couldn't be sent because the person got well...or died?

And another issue is, should a card originally bought for someone else ever be presented to another person?

Finally, am I nuts?