ONE NIGHT WITH HOMO ESCAPEONS

THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE TO YOU...

THIS IS WHO HE IS TO ME, FOR THE PAST 27 YEARS...

Who, really, IS this Blasphemous Blogger, this Escapeons Enigma, this Outrageous Orator? He is much more than you know or than he lets on in his blog, which anyone reading this is likely to frequent (or can be accessed from my sidebar).

What will already be evident to HE fans are his sense of humor, his knowledge of just about everything, his smart-ass but light-hearted yet insightful view of the world, his range of opinion, his capacity for the most innane trivia.

But what's beyond the bluster of the blogger? I'm about to expand your HE horizons.

We have known each other since 1979 when we both took the same two-year course in creative writing (journalism, advertising, P.R.). I almost detested his loudmouth schnook sort of personality and his good looks.

He was a chick magnet and a know-it-all to boot.

He was loud, obnoxious and unbelievably funny, even if you were his target, and I have been that often. Strangely, we became the closest of friends, because I am anything but loud and obnoxious.

We seemed to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, but something clicked.

He was the best man at my wedding. But before that, we spent those two years often pie-eyed at his place, listening to music he'd always try to get me to like, at unbelievably high decibels, while I wiped him out at Blackjack or whatever other card game we'd play.

(Yes, alcohol was involved)

His place was party central. I called his dad, Dad, the most beautiful man you'd ever want to meet. His mom was like my mom. Still is. We were so close that his girlfriends were almost my girlfriends (or sometimes I might have wished they were).

Upon graduation, we each got married. I moved away and we lost touch with each other. In that time, we both had families and, as it turned out, we both saw our marriages break up, although I had moved back to my home town.

We eventually reunited. Now the both of us have lovely kids, in HE's case he has a second family as a result of a consummate union with one of the most beautiful women I have ever met, she who cannot be named (Hi Alice!), whom HE refers to only as his GoodLadyWife.

Seeing as I'm single, he says he lives vicariously through me and my on-again, off-again different relationships. We generally see each other once a week at my place, where we try to solve the world's problems, tease each other and almost certainly laugh a lot.

For example, on Thursday night, we debated the following issues and solved or joked about all of them:

1. Canada's aboriginal problem

2. Canada's crime and justice problem

3. George W. Bush and Iraq. We have solved this over and over, but Bush still hasn't got it right.

4. What we're going to do on the final night of all human existence, as prophesized by the latest pamphlet to be dumped in my mailbox entitled "Revelation of Hope, a Bible Prophecy Seminar," taking place in my city next month in these "final few days."

5. How he was going to borrow his mom's rug shampoo machine, seeing as HE twice last night spilled his rye and Pepsi. The first time, he spilled it all behind my fridge, which is grungy enough. The second time, it was on my carpet.

I sopped it up gleefully, not wanting him to feel like a complete idiot as he apologized profusely. And he wasn't even drunk.

6. We talked about blogging and bloggers, of course.

7. We talked about and checked out Brian The Mennonite's blog, which had pix from their meeting last weekend at HE's place, a social occasion I unfortunately wasn't able to get to.

8. We talked about how he said he had blogged for months initially, beginning last winter, without a comment before the lovely Cherrypie found him and, with her wit and guile, made him see there were other intelligent, engaging people out there that could be an audience.

There were other topics, obviously. But those are the main ones of interest to the Blogosphere, I figure. And now here he is, nominated for Canadian Blogger Awards in several categories in his first year, and loving it.

But from a personal standpoint, and I know him intimately, he is only just beginning. He has unique thoughts and talents, he's a man of the world, and he has always had an impact on my life and what I think, even if he won't let me take a pic of his bare butt at Carmenzta's request.

He is far more artistic than you will ever know, having adorned some of his posts with his own artwork that he doesn't take credit for. He has done a caricature of me that I have posted before, but he has also done these of my kids...

No, this is the Homo Escapeons I know...wise beyond his own knowledge despite his frivolity and partying personality, his caring for the bigger issues on a global scale, his silent and unwavering commitment as a parent and as a friend.