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AND I'M HOLDING NONE OF THE EVIDENCE BACK.
Andrea latched on to some fridge meme or something or other and told us about it, baring her kitchen germ magnet for all to see (of course, it was spotless, but appearances aren't everything).
Then Cherry Pie followed...and there was booze galore in her fine, clean appliance. This was becoming a female fridge frenzy, and it needed some male intervention.
Keep in mind I am single and have two teenage kids who visit at least every second weekend but who show up more often than that.
And that Homo Escapeons visits once a week and makes more of a mess than the two of them and me combined. Plus, I live in an apartment...this ugly thing is what I'm stuck with.
So I open my home -- and my fridge door -- to the world, with chest-pounding male pride.
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Note above that I even opened up the -- yech -- vegetable and fruit drawers. I'm not sure what's in there, but you don't want a closeup view. Here, for your inspection and likely gasps, is another...
And just for good measure and in the interests of honesty, I give you these following closeups.
On the left (and I moved something over to reveal this in the interests of disclosure) is a stain that some woman would have spotted anyway, underneath the Pepsi carton.
On the right, well, now that IS truly gross. You probably can't make it out very well but it's dried something-or-other hanging from the little wire thingies on the shelf. My guess is dried milk but I can't exactly be sure. Any theories?
A woman with a great sense of humor (who loved my domestic hygiene and supportiveness but gave me the heave-ho anyway, silly girl) offered me as a birthday gift the book below.
It is now my bible but doesn't say a whole heck of a lot about cleaning fridges and stoves. And that's for my next post...my stove and, more specifically, my oven. I kinda like this meme thing, except now I have to go clean my fridge.
Phhht! That's nothing! I didn't clean my brand-new fridge for the first five years I had it. Eight years later and it's had only one thorough going-over. The one thing I have on my side is that I never let leftovers moulder (a new word).
ReplyDeleteI must say, though, that my first look made me think you'd just gotten home from camping. There's even the trashy novel you took with you. Wait! That's no novel. (That's my wife! *slap*) It's something that says shrimp on it. Oh well. Size isn't everything.
And Jim Croce makes me think of my first boyfriend. ...sigh...
LOL ur brave indeed WW, good stuff!
ReplyDeleteI think ur fridge isnt so bad compared to few I've seen in my life. Having said that, my fridge is quite clean n healthy. I love a good-smelling fridge :)
Keshi.
Andrea - I'm with you - upon first glance I thought I was seeing a stephen king novel. There are way too many condiments in this fridge - that is my thought upon seeing these photos :).And I do not see any avocados. tch tch.
ReplyDeleteI don't see any color coded labels or items properly 'staged' by expiration date..sorry I am sending those two British Ladies over to scrub it...or a HazMat team from the Virology lab.
ReplyDeleteFor a single man, your fridge looks very organised.
ReplyDeleteOnly one question, who does it for you?
What ever that is hanging from the wires it does look disgusting, Vicus, I think it was, did a post on how you can kill sperm in the fridge . . .
ReplyDeleteI see you're not afraid to use condiments.
ReplyDeleteAndrea:
ReplyDeleteI must admit I have let leftovers moulder...in fact, I'd better make a sweep through there again.
For you and Gautami, that trashy novel is titled, "Shrimp Ring -- Just Thaw, Garnish and Serve."
I think it's been thawed for about two weeks, so I think it's going to have to go...
I'll save you some heartache and put on something other than Croce...
Keshi:
ReplyDeleteYou got that right! But us Men With a Smidgeon of Domesticity can't let you wimmin hog all the limelight.
Personally, I just breathe through my mouth when I open my fridge.
Lee (and MJ):
ReplyDeleteGeez, you said that so condescendly, like a judge giving me a 5.5 on backwards somersault.
But sigh, you're right.
I have way too many condiments, largely a product of my salad-loving daughter's picky tastes.
I'd better check those best-before dates. I think I got some of these as part of my divorce settlement.
Oh, and Lee...I don't think I've ever eaten an avacado.
ReplyDeleteHomo No Mo:
ReplyDeleteNo, I am not from the Totally Anal Obsessive Compulsive School of Fine Fridge Etiquette.
Send the two British ladies over to scrub whatever they want, but keep the Hazmat team on standby.
Gautami:
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you. Can always count on you for an objective and honest compliment.
My maid.
Ziggi:
ReplyDeleteI'll have to check Vicus's past posts. In the meantime, now that you mention it, that IS probably what that most looks like...
Looks really neat.
ReplyDeleteTry taking a picture of a fridge that belongs, to 6 folks! Mine is NOT a pretty site!
Heyyy, don't hold on the shrimp! Break out that shrimp ring and let's eat!
site-sight...still too early for me. :)
ReplyDeleteYou live alone yet still have such a huge carton of milk. Remarkable
ReplyDeleteYou've nothing to be ashamed of there. I cheated and had cleaned it first. I also thought I had too many sauces and stuff going on but now I see it's nothing compared to some people.
I'm impressed at how well-stocked, clean, and organized your fridge looks. Every single man I know has much less than that in his fridge. Very impressive indeed.
ReplyDeleteWhat is a shrimp ring - yep, it's the thing in the box - but what acually IS it,"Basil"? . (Do they squash up a heap of shrimp and shape it into a ring and sell it like that - and people actually eat it? Is that it?). The condiments stand out because there aren't any in my fridge, oddly enough.
ReplyDelete**Personally, I just breathe through my mouth when I open my fridge.
ReplyDeleteR YA SERIOUS? LOL!
Keshi.
Awaiting:
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid to break open the shrimp ring package, for fear of what I might find...or smell.
Cherry:
ReplyDeleteThe gigantic milk carton is on hand mostly for the benefit of my son, who usually eats about eight bowls of Reese's Puffs cereal before 9 a.m. each morning.
I'm just a saucy guy...
Anna:
ReplyDeleteYou are a peach.
Speaking of which, they turn all green and super mouldy after about five days, I've found.
Plums, however, seem to go on forever.
Lee:
ReplyDeleteA shrimp ring is a cool thing, if it's left frozen until ready to eat.
They take these little pink shrimp, about three inches long, and arrange them curled up over top of a plastic black ring.
They end up looking like a neat little Horse Doovruhs. You thaw the package and dip them into cocktail sauce.
Try it sometime.
And I thought you were calling me WWIII.
Keshi:
ReplyDeleteNo, I was just kidding. I just plug my nose.
Basil has a better ring to it, don't ya reckon? O.K., it's WWIII. A friend of my Mum's used to call them horse doovers - seriously. Will post on this one day for fun. I might try it if 1. if there was such a thing here to try 2. if I ate seafood.
ReplyDeleteLee:
ReplyDeleteI could take a picture of the thing before I throw it out and send it to you...
Or you could probably just google it and see pix of it.
LOL hahahaha ur too funny man!
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
Now I feel all guilty about my refrigerator and my oven.
ReplyDeleteYou're a bad, bad man for doing this to me!
Sigh.
Where's my Oven cleaner?
Keshi:
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you, your Keshiness.
Pam:
I'm sorry to have thrown you into a guilt trip.
Just think of it this way as you start clearing out the fridge and your oven for cleaning: they can't POSSIBLY be dirtier than mine.
** your Keshiness
ReplyDeleteI think Canadian men r really totally fully heavily infectiously FUNNY :)
Keshi.