The Family (Or most of them)

The Family (Or most of them)
The Family

September 27, 2006

DIAL-A-BREAKUP


OK, so I shamelessly stole this from a friend who emailed it to me, who herself yanked it off the Web from the BBC.
Isn't it just the cat's ass, though?
Does beg the question, however...what's the best way of breaking up with someone? Is there a breakup etiquette, a set of rules, do's and don'ts? I think my top 5 would be...
1. DON'T do it over the phone.
2. DON'T do it by email.
3. DON'T do it while you're both arguing.
4. DO it when you're both calm and it's clear something is very wrong.
5. DO it sensitively and once you're convinced it just won't work.
Can there be best or worst breakups? And would YOU use the service below?
Agency makes breaking up easier

A German businessman has set up a "separation agency" - a service to inform unsuspecting spouses and lovers their partners no longer want them.
Bernd Dressler will deliver the bad news - for those too scared to do it themselves - for 20 euros (£13) by phone, or for 50 euros (£33) in person.
The efficiency and directness of Mr Dressler's manner has earned him the nickname The Terminator.
The 52-year-old compares his company to a dating agency but "in reverse".
"We have had dating agencies for 30 years. If you want to have a new partnership then you have to quit your previous one. I think it's the same market - just in reverse," Mr Dressler told the BBC.
The message can be delivered in a "sympathetic or direct manner". Mr Dressler said that most of his clients do not want any further contact with their ex-partner.
The client is asked to provide three reasons why they want to terminate the relationship - these are then passed on by the agency to the former lover.
"The time is right for this service. Many clients are unhappy in their partnerships and they want to end it in a neutral way," Mr Dressler said.
The former insurance manager said he has been fortunate never to have witnessed any extreme emotional reactions.
"I am only the messenger," he said.

18 comments:

  1. if someone had to hire someone from such an agency it goes to show why the couple shouldn't be together in the first place - where's the communication :).

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  2. omg now they have agencies to breakup? what's next? An agency to give a hug? Appalling.

    Keshi.

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  3. That 'service' is the stupidest f*cking thing that I have ever heard of.

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  4. keshi - you are on a winner there. I bet there a lot of elderly who would pay for such a service. I might if I was having a crap day.But only if it was cheap or forget it! :).You can already Hire-a-Hubby to do home repairs - why not Hire-a- Hug? ;). Can't you see the ad now? Hire- A- Hug and repair your Heart! How pathetic is that. No,no "Hire A hug and repair your psyche!" Time to stop :).

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  5. Lee:

    Agreed. Maybe I could just hire this guy to come and clean my fridge and oven.

    Aidan:

    Zing! Merry Christmas, Babe! Good rule, thanks for playing. I'm sure this guy's biz will last 15 minutes, that's about it.

    Keshi:

    Well, if the guy would at least hire a barbershop quartet or something. Or a church organ player and someone to sing the funeral procession hymn or Amazing Grace, I dunno...

    HE:

    I think we'd all like to hear some of your more famous breakup lines from high school/college, tho...

    Lee/Keshi:

    OK, you two Ozzies are on a roll. If this breakup specialist informant was smart, he'd start up a second business to hug or console the people he just delivered the bad news to.

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  6. I only wish there had been email the last time I'd had to break up with someone. Nothing tackier.

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  7. Yes, HE... please tell all.

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  8. I cannot contribute to this thread. To do so would be to contemplate the prospect of breaking up with someone. I cannot even start to imagine meeting someone and having them like me back, let alone developing the relationship to longer than it takes for him to hand me the cappucino cup and my change and wish me a 'nice day'.

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  9. I could never even conceive of using a third party for a breakup - that is so cowardly and insensitive!

    And I am very much in agreement with your rules 3 & 4.

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  10. Andrea:

    So...you'd have used email, even if it is tackier?

    HE:

    Note MJ's query. Or was that, order?

    MJ:

    Note my reminder to HE.

    Cheery Pie (Mispelling intended):

    Cmon girl! What the fudgicle!

    Yes you can contemplate it...maybe you SCARE guys with your wit, intelligence and high standing?

    And you even entertain knobs like us (I guess I should speak for myself). You're the go-to girl!

    Anna:

    Good on ya. And now I gotta try and remember what my rules 3 and 4 were...

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  11. Cherry don't scare me, but those three guys in her post photo . .. .. weeeeeellllllllll . . . . >B^D>

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  12. Lee I agree. Isnt that a psyche that needs alot of mending. Jeeeez!

    WW ur spot on :)

    Keshi.

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  13. Still waiting for HE's famous breakup lines from high school/college.

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  14. What is the world coming to? You can now hire someone to break up with someone? Human balls (or ovaries in the female case) are going to disappear over a period of time if we keep this up! Humans will become spineless ball-less jellyfish.

    WW: Is that your Golden Lab in the picture? He or she looks just like my Golden Lab whom I just adore!

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  15. Fronty:

    They're SUPPOSED to scare you. They're comedians.

    Keshi/Lee:

    I think this Hire-a-Hug gig is a good idea.

    After I conduct a market survey to gauge interest and potential dollars and what the market can bare, I'm phoning my lawyer to set up my new corporation.

    My marketing campaign will cater to women, of course.

    MJ:

    I don't think HE is biting...

    Carm:

    Recent scientific data shows that male testicles (er, as opposed to female ones?) are in fact retracting back into men's bodies, just like the glaciers.

    The theories are that balls are becoming less important over time, and that men are getting kicked there a lot more often.

    This is called Natural Selection.

    Seriously, agree with you wholeheartedly (or, wholetestically, cause I want to keep mine).

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  16. Heya Carm, forgot about your golden lab query...

    That's Taffy, the dog I basically grew up with. She's been dead for about 25 years or so.

    Most dogs tend to take a liking to me and want to hang out with me all the time, but Taffy was a different sort.

    She was kind of my mom's dog, always hung around her...wasn't very active, but beautiful nonetheless.

    She developed a huge tumor on her hip/leg and had to be put down. But my mom loves that pic.

    I'm going to get it blown up and framed and give it to her.

    Bow Wow...

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  17. Dang, do people do anything for themselves anymore.

    Guess, its easier to have someone else do while I run and hide under a rock.

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  18. Awaiting:

    Yeah, it's sad.

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