LORDY, LORDY, LADY'S FORTY

LADY WORDSMITH'S DAY IS HERE,

LIKELY OVERFLOWING WITH WINE OR BEER

IT MUST BE WORTH MORE THAN ONE CHEER

SO THIS COMES DIRECTLY FROM SHAKESPEARE

"COME HITHER LASS, YOU OF 40 TODAY

WE ALL DO KNOW YOU CAN'T KEEP IT AT BAY

IT HAS ARRIVED, IT'S HERE TO STAY

EMBRACE IT, WOMAN, THIS 40 TODAY."

Some time ago, Lady Wordsmith requested a bunch of us mark her 40th birthday on Aug. 28. While this day can often be troubling to some, she has said she looked forward to it, at least in some respects.

Here, then, along the lines of the old Paul Simon song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover," are 40 ways why women should celebrate turning 40 (of course I found it by Googling "Turning 40)."

From the August 1997 edition of Ebony (it says this for black women, but seems to me it could be for all women). HAPPY BIRTHDAY LW!

THE TOP 40
1.) Peace of mind (and a piece of property).
2.) A will.
3.) Willpower.
4.) A savings account in your own name (and an IRA in the name of your future security).
5.) A mammogram.
6.) A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage--all on the same day).
7.) A set of matching luggage.
8.) A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it.
9.) A great hairdresser, gynecologist and stockbroker.
10.) A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair.
11.) A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner.
12.) A sense of humor, style and purpose.
13.) A selfish streak.
14.) A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy.
15.) A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day without going ashy.
16.) A good bra.
17.) A good spa.
18.) A library card (used often).
19.) A credit card (used sparingly).
20.) At least one person in your life who says: "You call, I come."
21.) Good body language (multilingual!).
22.) A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it.
23.) A cause celebre (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales--your choice).
24.) A personal relationship with God.
25.) A personal trainer.
26.) Selective amnesia ("What Saturday morning meeting?").
27.) Gall.
28.) A good skin-care regimen.
29.) The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts.
30.) A shocking secret.
31.) A pair of silk pajamas.
32.) A lifetime membership in at least one organization dedicated to uplifting Black folks (e.g., National Council of Negro Women, the NAACP).
33.) The phone number of someone who is good with their hands.
34.) At least one drop-dead, don't-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don't-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself.
35.) A friendship that has stood the test of time.
36.) One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
37.) A soul mate.
38.) Faith, hope and a good fantasy.
39.) A dream.
40.) A plan to make it come true.