Those Christmas Blues

DO YOU HAVE...THE CHRISTMAS BLUES?

Right here, right now, we have the solution. And it's all about pumpkin seeds.

Get over those shivers of fear about shopping and spending hundreds of dollars, that bad feeling about baking til you drop, forgetting to send your cards by the deadline.

Here is yet another press release from yet another company proposing to solve all your holiday anxiety with the latest elixir that purports to make your life all fresh and new again.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — December 12, 2006

Toronto—Searching frantically for that "perfect gift" along with mounting bills, obligatory engagements, and endless loops of Christmas carols counting down the days… Stress now defines the holiday season.

What should be a time of comfort and joy has become an annual nightmare. But it doesn't have to be this way.

What if choosing the right foods could help eliminate stress and improve sleep? According to Toronto psychiatrist and sleep expert Dr. Craig Hudson, it is possible.

Dr. Hudson explains how the right combinations of proteins and carbohydrates digested at varying times of the day can make a huge difference in stress perception and quality of sleep.

With his research Dr. Hudson created Zenbev, a scientifically-derived formulation that combines simple ingredients for significant results.

Zenbev has garnered huge success in Europe, treating people suffering from sleep and stress problems like insomnia and anxiety.

Invented in 1997, this patented formula is now available in the Canadian market at fine health stores across the country.

Organic pumpkin seeds are the secret behind Zenbev's success. This all-natural beverage mix derived from pumpkin seeds provides a natural source of tryptophan.

Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that our bodies can only receive from food. It naturally enhances and regulates mood, emotion and sleep patterns.

Zenbev is unique because it is light-sensitive. Using Zenbev during the day causes tryptophan to metabolize into serotonin, which is scientifically proven to alleviate stress, depression, and anxiety.

In a night-time environment, tryptophan turns into melatonin which allows people to fall asleep naturally.

Using Zenbev over a period of time will not cause dependence or tolerance because the product works with your brain's natural sleep chemistry. Weight loss and an increased libido are other benefits.

Additional information on Zenbev is available at www.zenbev.com.

Are the holidays driving you nuts enough to try something like this?

Men's Christmas Wrap Motivators

I might actually learn how to properly wrap Christmas gifts if I could at least laugh a little when I attempted such a complex procedure...

WITH WRAP LIKE THIS

Just a seasonal joke while my brain's synapses are a little low on energy due to shopping and wrapping, so please don't report me to Santa or the Bad Blogger police...

Pepe Le Pew's Christmas D'Amour

HECK, IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!

AND THEY CALL IT THE "GAME" OF LOVE...

So why WOULDN'T a sportswriter receive the following email press release from Paris, or as Pepe Le Pew (whose picture I forgot to download) would say it, Gay Par-EE?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Paris, December 4, 2006

A lover gives his sweetheart the Eiffel Tower.
Stephen, 32 years old, chose to declare his love with the help of the a brand new service provided by ApoteoSurprise, a French agency specializing in love declarations and original marriage proposals ( http://www.apoteosurprise.com/indexEN.htm ).
The young man's proposal and his picture were projected over 40 meters at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, in a multicolored sparkling setting, while the two lovers were enjoying their candlelit dinner on board a cruise boat.
Virginia, 28 years old, burst into tears while the other passengers applauded. She then said "yes".

You get the idea. And you can go to the site yourself and check it out. But here are a few of this company's "unforgettable ways of saying I love you." Let your sense of amour be your guide, your dreams' pathway...

And if you had your choice, especially during the romantic Yuletide season, what would be YOUR dream love fantasy?

While enjoying a romantic stay in Paris, why not seize this perfect opportunity to offer your sweetheart the surprise of his/her life ? ApoteoSurprise organizes truly incredible ways for you to declare your love !

While taking a romantic stroll through the tiny cobblestoned alleyways of the Montmartre district, you'll be taken by surprise by the unusual events which will prelude your poetic declaration of love...990 euros

Early in the morning while still in bed, you'll be woken by a singing quartet who'll offer your sweetheart a romantic dawn serenade before handing him/her a parchment...990 euros

You'll ride in a Rolls Royce into the heart of a forest to discover an island paradise lit by candle-light where you'll enjoy an unforgettable dinner in an enchantingly romantic chalet...990 euros

While forming part of the audience during a circus performance, your sweetheart will be the involuntary victim of a knife throwing contest -- a prelude to your spectacular declaration of love...1590 euros


After sharing a romantic dinner on an amazingly magical river boat, you'll witness a great illusion show during which the magician will reveal your decla-ration of love...1590 euros




You'll share a pleasurable moment of relaxation in a steamy hammam which will leave your skin feeling as soft as satin, before your sweetheart discovers your voluptuous declaration of love amidst some flowers...1590 euros

While you dine in the city, your room will be transformed into a tiny little tender paradise filled with hundreds of balloons and cuddly toys as a prelude to the most affectionate declaration of love...1590 euros

After flying over the most famous fun park in the world in an ULM, your amazing declaration of love will float across the sky right in front of your sweetheart's dazzling eyes...1990 euros

While enjoying a romantic flight over the truly luxuriant countryside of the department of Yvelines, a second airplane will appear beside you and then reveal on its wings your unimaginable declaration of love...1990 euros

While the two of you enjoy a private visit of one of the most famous wax museums in the world, an ancient statue will come to life and hand your sweetheart a parchment...1990 euros

After a crazy pursuit aboard Starsky and Hutch's ride, a car filled with gangsters will lift up on two wheels and reveal your explosive declaration of love...1990 euros

In the gardens of one of the most prestigious castles in France, you'll take to the skies and enjoy a romantic dinner for two as you cruise towards the celestial realms of Nirvana...2490 euros

While enjoying a romantic dinner in one of the most romantic castles in France, an elegant fireworks display will be set off in the gardens along with an immense blazing red heart...2990 euros





While the two of you privately visit an adorable doll museum, one of the dolls will come to life before your sweetheart's very eyes and hand him/her your tender declaration of love... 2990 euros

You'll dine in private in a castle before visiting the gardens where you'll be surprised by a giant bottle of champagne revealing your declaration of love while hundreds of balloons are released into the air...2990 euros

In the heart of a castle perched high in the valley, you'll be savoring a delicious lunch when suddenly a giant banderol will glide across the sky thus revealing your incredible declaration of love...2990 euros


While dining in a futuristic restaurant, a cybernetic man will appear and reveal your surprising declaration of love on his incorporated TV screen...2990 euros

The City of Light will be dressed to the nines as you cruise in a Rolls Royce across its most stunning districts in a prelude to your enchanting declaration of love on the Champs Elysees...2990 euros


You'll be enjoying a leisurely ride in a horse-drawn carriage through a noble forest just beside the Château de Chantilly when two 18th century bandits -- which only a prince could fight off -- will try to ambush you...3990 euros

Hand in hand you'll visit a distinguished castle and meet the famous Lieutenant Columbo who'll head an amazing investigation which will conclude with your declaration of love...3990 euros

After having dined in a wonderfully charming castle, you'll take a romantic stroll in the park which will be perfumed by a celestial shower of rose petals...4990 euros

You'll be dining aboard a sumptuous private yacht as you cruise along the Seine River, when a shower of 1,000 roses will fall from the sky and cover your sweetheart with tender flowers...4490 euros

You'll share a romantic dinner in a thousand and one night's temple which sparkles with opu-lence and beauty before secretly climbing into a Jacuzzi lit up by candlelight...11900 euros

While delighting in a romantic lunch in a castle perched high on a hill, an aerial display team will appear from out of nowhere and draw a giant heart in the sky...15900 euros

AWAITING HAS BEEN A'WAITING FOR SOME PICTURES OF A MAN'S SHOES.

"I want to see what kind of shoes a single man wears," the Mississippian Mom commented (or something along those lines) on one of my recent postings about MY STUFF.

Here it is.

I do humbly offer my apologies. About the only thing that's missing are my winter snow boots, my black dress shoes and my Perry Como lounging slippers.

I don't think this is what Awaiting was awaiting, but I blew out my tire last night and had to change said tire early this morning in temperatures of -35C with the windchill.

I have only recently returned from paying $197 Cdn for a new tire to be installed, a process that took half my day. My fingers, ears, eyeballs and some other body parts are still numb.

I fully expect I will be told I need new shoes too. And no, I was not wearing my sandals this morning.

I think what I need most is a vacation.