THE HOLY GRAIL INDOCTRINATION

IS THIS JOLLY FELLOW THE NEXT JOHN CLEESE?THIS is my 14-year-old son. And this past weekend, as we contemplated the peach fuzz growing on his face, his deepening voice, the fact he has had his first relationship with a female and that he is now almost as tall as me...

I DEEMED IT THE PROPER TIME FOR HIM TO GO THROUGH A TEEN'S RITE OF PASSAGE TO PREPARE HIM FOR HIS IMPENDING LIFE AS A YOUNG ADULT MALE.

I have exposed him to Monty Python, the most sickeningly funny bits of humour ever recorded on film. And not only did I accompany him on this journey to manhood, my 18-year-old daughter was present. She even giggled a bit.

But no, this was a critical moment in my testosterone-heavy son's transition from boy to man, from teen to titanic pickup artist and joke-teller, from moronic idiot to...well, moronic idiot.

We rented both Monty Python and the Holy Grail and The Meaning of Life. I admit, I wondered if this was perhaps too bold a manoeuvre on my part, too much to expose him to at one time.

I was wrong.

At this very moment, he is roaring in laughter, yet again, at the rabbit scene in the Holy Grail. Earlier, he was giggling uncontrollably at the middle of the movie scene in Meaning of Life, the search for fish.

But there is no doubt that the Holy Grail -- particularly the white rabbit, black knight and bridge-keeper scenes -- will give my son a lifetime of comedic understanding, depth and backbone to fall back on as he learns to love women, career and children...

Even as they will crush him all.

NI!

For those who may have gotten off the trail for the Grail, here are some reminders...and if I can figure out how to include a clip or two from YouTube, I'll add it later...

THE YEAR IS 2053...

I WATCHED AN INCREDIBLE 1995 MOVIE CALLED HARRISON BERGERON THIS WEEKEND. (I ALSO WATCHED SPACE BALLS BY MEL BROOKS, BUT THAT'S TOO HIGH-BROW FOR THIS AUDIENCE...)

Harrison Bergeron is all about a futuristic society in 2053 where, in the U.S. at least, a form of mind control has been exercised to render all people "equal" by removing their capacity to be individuals.

Harrison, played by Sean Astin, is simply too smart to be brainwashed, though, and is recruited into the elite society of brainiacs that purposely keep the populace dumbed down.

He ends up revolting against the fact that his family and the entire U.S. are little more than mindless puppets, and tries to change that...but only succeeds when he blows his own head off on national T.V.

(There's a great love story in this too; I'd recommend you watch it if you can, even though I've pretty much now told you the entire plot! Duh...)

A fascinating flick, and it reminds me of a similarly brilliant movie, Pleasantville, where everyone was mindlessly happy and the same, if completely ignorant of all that was going on around them.



It brought me to thinking about today's mass media and CNN and Enter"taint"ment Tonight and the filtered, completely subjective main messages sent to all in North America and around the world...

...And how the masses seem to be completely brainwashed by the crap we are fed every day, whether it be from CNN's "The Week in War" to Entertaintment Tonight's nightly "Mel" file.

Kurt Vonnegut, an American, was amazingly right on with his book on which the movie is based. The only part of this that's 2053 are the bands placed on people's heads to supress their creativeness and intellect.

I think the brainwashing is happening right now, without the bands...they don't need 'em. Many of us are falling for this crap on our own, blinded by the reality of what's really happening.

That's not a comment on our intelligence, it's a statement about how we're being distracted from it all by everything else we're confronted with in a world that's moving far too fast in front of our very eyes.

Which is just the way the power elite want it...

BLOGGERS BEWARE

I'VE TRIED TO IGNORE IT, BUT IT WON'T GO AWAY.

I've become a bogged down blogger, a computer crazed creature with no life, according to a Statistics Canada study released this week.

Here, in point form, are the findings from the study:

Heavy users of the Internet -- an hour a day or more -- do the following:

1. Spend less time with their spouse and children.

2. Do less paid work.

3. Spend more time at home, though do less cleaning.

4. Don't spend as much time participating in sports.

5. Volunteer less.

6. Spend 119 more minutes alone than people who don't use the Internet.

7. Heavy users spend an average of 2 1/2 hours online in their spare time.

8. While heavy users spend a lot less time in face to face contact, they were still interacting with people through email or online chatting (or, I would imagine, on blogging).

The study tracked Internet use in 2005 as part of a survey conducted every few years on how Canadians spend their time. Blogging, strangely, is not mentioned in the newspaper story at all.

So, since I got this new-fangled computer and started blogging, I have to admit that while I get an incredible amount of intellectual/emotional stimulation, the fact remains: I'm sitting on my ass in front of a computer almost every night.

Unfortunately, we have not yet evolved into the futuristic species depicted in some movies of having no physical bodies (which need exercise) into merely brains or, presumably much further on, beings without bodies at all.

I realize this may not be a popular topic for bloggers to contemplate. My experience is we love what we do and we treasure the interaction we can have with people all over the planet.

But what do you think? Are you becoming a blogger blob? Is the intellectual/emotional benefit you get coming at the expense of your physical well-being and your relationships with others?

MEL FESSES UP

MALIBU, Calif. -- Aussie actor/movie director Mel Gibson made another emotional plea for forgiveness from the world's Jewish community yesterday for comments that have been termed anti-semitic.

The troubled hunk showed up at a hastily-called press conference in something resembling goats' horns or the devil's, saying he continues to feel incredible remorse and guilt for his fire-laden words.

Gibson was pulled over for driving while under the influence of alcohol and the police report described him as being drunk and making several scathing remarks against Jews.

Yesterday, the star of several blockbuster movies continued his campaign to keep his acting/directing career on track, insisting he did not hate Jews and that he has a drinking problem.

However, the Jewish community -- which has said this week Gibson needs to go beyond apologies and addiction counselling to make amends -- reacted to Gibson's latest appeals with apathy and little comment.

Gibson was later seen outside a bar. His publicist could not be reached for comment.